Moving in with my girl - good or bad idea?

[frivolousz21]

I only speak from over 6 years of combined LTR experience. And manuals? **** manuals. open your eyes and try to understand relationships. Its really not that simple.

same here...and ive dated only 1 crazy bytch.

what kind of women do you guys have?

are women that differnt from area to area in this world.

where I live most of the people my age 23-28 have got great relationships if they lasted 6 months or longer and are getting married within the next couple yrs.

its seems everythign on this site is Failure.

then agian maybe that because if he was happily married he woudlnt come back here

 

[Egoist]

Originally posted by frivolousz21
same here...and ive dated only 1 crazy bytch.

what kind of women do you guys have?

are women that differnt from area to area in this world.

where I live most of the people my age 23-28 have got great relationships if they lasted 6 months or longer and are getting married within the next couple yrs.

its seems everythign on this site is Failure.

then agian maybe that because if he was happily married he woudlnt come back here

i'm from the same state as you are, but i've dated all types of girls, foreign and domestic models

all i can say is that love is a very complicated thing. It evolves, it changes, and certain factors affect it greatly.

Statistically speaking, 90% of marriages consumated before 25 end in divorce. And living together BEFORE marriage has a significant impact on chance of a divorce down the road. So make your own conclusions.

p.s. i've lived with my LOOOOONG term ex who i was completely in love with once upon a time. She was perfect. I was perfect. I am now single. That's life.

 

[frivolousz21]

p.s. i've lived with my LOOOOONG term ex who i was completely in love with once upon a time. She was perfect. I was perfect. I am now single. That's life.

what happened?


as you know we do live in the most liberal state in the UNION

but regardless...most people around here are conservative..and most of those women are good women

 

[Egoist]

Originally posted by frivolousz21
what happened?


as you know we do live in the most liberal state in the UNION

but regardless...most people around here are conservative..and most of those women are good women

its complex.. the timing was off i guess, we both had to grow as individuals before i could see the relationship reaching its peak.

I always look way into the future. Things were perfect in the meantime, but i only saw problems in the future because we were both still so young and needed to better understand ourselves.

 

[frivolousz21]

I always look way into the future. Things were perfect in the meantime, but i only saw problems in the future because we were both still so young and needed to better understand ourselves.

of course

and hell boy has to watch that..like everything.

I know where I am..who I am.what I want to be..and wht I am.

shyt im 23...I didnt live in a cave my whole life.


my girl is 21...and she is a rock...well she is a catholic girl..but yet unreal confidence..and she got 3 full yrs of collge for her expierence.

if she changes I leave..but I will take that chance.


remember hellboy is 25 yrs old or something.

 

[Hellboy]

Okay frivolous I think you hijacked my thread

Guys, I'm no fool, I know these things don't necessarily last forever. I said 'we seem to be in love' but I have not jumped to the conclusion that she is 'the one'. I know a lot can change during the 6-12 month period.

But I'm seeing less warning signals during the 0-6 month phase than I've seen in previous relationships. She is more intelligent, more mature and so many things compared to my exes. I think it just might work. I guess I'm not getting any younger, and I'd like to push the boundaries a little and see if it's worth investing any more time into this.

Damage, yes that's her in my signature. What you said is a bit of an overgeneralisation, if touching on the truth. I love goth girls (being a little bit of a goth myself). They are wild, adventurous, spiritual, artistic, spontaneous and emotional and yes.. sometimes this can mean depressive. But only sometimes. And isn't everyone?

 

[DJDamage]

Originally posted by Hellboy
Damage, yes that's her in my signature. What you said is a bit of an overgeneralisation, if touching on the truth. I love goth girls (being a little bit of a goth myself). They are wild, adventurous, spiritual, artistic, spontaneous and emotional and yes.. sometimes this can mean depressive. But only sometimes. And isn't everyone?

Sounds like a "Hell" of a girl!

keep a box of prozac with you just in case ( I kidd, I kidd!)

DjDamage

 

[Aaron B]

I've done it several times in the past.

Its a horrible idea in my opinion.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Although I've broken this rule (and learned from it), I wouldn't think about living together until after we had gone on an extended vacation together. I'm not talking about a long weekend or even a week; I'm suggesting at least 10 days or two weeks.

During that amount of time held up in the close quarters of a hotel room for night after night, not only seeing each other every day but being with each other every hour of the day will test the fortitude of both of you. You guys may think that a long vacation is an expensive endeavor, but compared to a failed permanent living arrangement it's well worth it.

 

[Hellboy]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
Although I've broken this rule (and learned from it), I wouldn't think about living together until after we had gone on an extended vacation together. I'm not talking about a long weekend or even a week; I'm suggesting at least 10 days or two weeks.

During that amount of time held up in the close quarters of a hotel room for night after night, not only seeing each other every day but being with each other every hour of the day will test the fortitude of both of you. You guys may think that a long vacation is an expensive endeavor, but compared to a failed permanent living arrangement it's well worth it.

This is absolute GOLD.

On the one hand, we have been on a 9 day trip together which went pretty well. But it was in the early stages I guess.

Now we have got a trip booked at Christmas. On Dec 22nd we are getting on a plane and going to Prague. On the 28th we travel by train from Prague to Budapest, until the 4th Jan we return home to the UK. We are spending CHRISTMAS DAY and NEW YEARS EVE together in strage forein countries thousands of miles away from our friends and families. So this is 2 weeks solid together and is a pretty big committment in itself. In fact we have already joked about whether we will still be together when we get back. Yes now I think about it, it is totally and utterly mad. But this girl is amazing and does strange things to my brain.

You are completely right my esteemed DJ. A worthwhile test of our ability to be in each other's faces 24/7. I shall hold off and await this test. Thanks once again!

 

[Docs]

we should make a list of people that give good advice. Pin this thread, that's big.

 

[geneticperfection]

Franciso had a great idea there, something I'm going to definitely try before I move in with whoever I move in with next. Always live with someone before getting married, and always vacation with someone before living with them.

As far as it goes Hellboy, there are positives and negatives of living together. I've been in one live-in relationship where the girl was wonderful, but living together killed the passion since I ended up seeing her in crappy home clothes all the time and just started to find her non-sexual after a while. Ended up seeing her bad sides, which werent major, but definitely enough to make me reconsider the future of the relationship (which is why its best to live with somenoe before marrying them, btw).
On the flip side, another girl I lived with only because her place got ****ed up, and she moved in for a month. I realized she spent most of her time naked and was much more fun than when we were just dating. It was an incredible time, causing the relationship to last much longer than I had originally thought it would. It also let me see her weak sides, etc.
At the end of the day, moving in together really helps you cement what the future might hold, and sometimes that could kill a relationship, and other times it could shove you into one-i-tis (assuming thats a bad thing). Obviously there are constraints on your freedom too, such as not having other girls, possibly changing your routine somewhat, etc etc.
Not a decision to jump into, and perhaps one left for a relationship that has lasted longer, but hey, only you know how intense your relationship is.

And again: Solid post Francisco.

 

[ikkenai]

Originally posted by frivolousz21
yes he is in love. stop reading a fycking manual and go expierence what life really happens.

BBAHWHAHWHAHWHAHHAHHAHWHAHWHAHHAHAHWHAHWHAWHHAH!!!!!

 

[Leah]

Don't do it! Retain your independence! You can still stay over hers whenever you like and when you've had enough you can go home knowing she hasn't been through all your stuff when you're out!