Movies and Large Crowds

[ssj245]

I was at the movie theater tonight watching M I :3 but anyway the whole time I was there I was always aware of my surroundings and I always made a note when a girl walked in alone or with a man.

Everytime I saw a girl that I would think that would look cute but her man's arm would be around her, I'd feel upset and almost take it personally like "damn look he's got a girl and she is so pretty" after a while it becomes a downer but I cant stop from looking and thinking that.

Plus Im walking around...trying to have confident body language but my insides are screaming to stop being fake....

Where ever there are people I feel like I have to put on a show...that I am being watched and evaluated and for people to like me, I have to act confident and tough and badass like.

Problem is that I dont feel that way...and I feel like Im going to get attacked by somebody everytime I go out. Like Im scared to make eye contact with people cuz I think they will just snap back at me...or the guys will just hit me or jump me.

It sucks cuz everytime I go out by body keeps reacting in fear and the rational part goes out.

Are there any ways I can deal with these anxieties.

Plus I feel like looking at a woman is wrong and that I am doing something I am not supposed to do.

 

[Serialized3]

Sounds like you have some pretty severe social anxiety. Seek professional counseling. Seriously.

 

[Macgyver]

Sounds like you have some pretty severe social anxiety. Seek professional counseling. Seriously.

Great help you are. Ignore this dim piece of shat.

Anyways, try to have a I don't care approach and see how that affects you. Still your anxieties may get to the best of you, don't. Yes people are looking and judging you, who gives a crap! You think if Cowboy Clint Eastwood was always fussing around who was watching him would he be a cowboy anti-hero? Nope. There you go! Don't worry and try to relax.

 

[theSpeculator]

Sounds like you have some pretty severe social anxiety. Seek professional counseling. Seriously.

I agree. People that don't have some form of social anxiety don't understand it's not a problem that can be solved easily through willpower. So just ignore Macgyver.

Also go check out this book "The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem" by Nathaniel Branden. Read it so you will become aware of your problem and its solution. Link below, 3rd posts down.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=96969

 

[Morphiex]

your probably the kind of guy who puts on ton of hair gel and spends alot of time infront of the mirror trying to get the right look before you ever can make yourself step otuside the door , right ? well i used to be like that when i was around 14 - 16 i thought that everyone was looking at me and judging me , well i basicly started to not give a **** about how i looked alittle by little , i would after some time not even bother to put something in my hair , or get the right clothes , for a whole week i went out to shcool in my sweat pants or clothes i found on the floor with ****ed up hairdo and like crust in my eyes and **** (only once) but after that week i got real confidence about my looks , i know im good looking and i dont need to bother with spending uneccesary time infront of a mirror to get girls.... this helped me understand that people u dont know , meet outside on the way to somewhere, just look at you for maby a sec and then forget you , its not like they will think of you forever and remember you... you just have to not give a ****.... if u cant then get some professional help to guide you in that way....

 

[thefonz]

Problem is that I dont feel that way...and I feel like Im going to get attacked by somebody everytime I go out. Like Im scared to make eye contact with people cuz I think they will just snap back at me...or the guys will just hit me or jump me.

Wow, I thought I entered a time machine when I read that....

Look, all you can really do to settle anxiety is to develop behaviors that stop you from focusing on negativity. Read self-affirming posts rather than posts by people who brag about how many chicks they laid last week. I always like to tell myself, "You can only go from where you are." which means figure out where your issues lie in social settings. And QUESTION THESE thoughts....thats what any therapist will do when you tell them something. The most common thing my therapist ever said to me was, "Why?" meaning: she wasn't there to give me answers, she was forcing ME to think about why things things are happening. You really have to focus though, don't distract yourself from these issues. It takes persistance and dedication. Only you can figure out why you do what you do, and that is the god's honest truth. You also need to write down alot of your thoughts cus i guaruntee you won't remember them in a week if you don't. Taking up a journal is very important, it's hard work but it's well worth it.