Movie Review: Constantine

[cinephile]

While calling "Constantine" the supernatual matrix is not completely acurate, its close enough. Keanu plays John Constantine, a Demonic Bounty Hunter. Dammed to hell for killing himself, he is desperately trying to rack up enough exorcisms and demon explusions so as god might change his mind. He encounter a sexy lady detective who has latent psychic powers and is trying to save her recently departed sister's soul from hell. Making various guest apperances are the Angel Gabriel, Balthazar, the son of satan, and satan himself. I guess god was too busy.

It was okay I guess. The effect looked great and the casting was good. Keanu has been pretty good about getting away from the Bill & Ted thing. Major problems though exist in the fact that the story made no sense at all. Also, for a big budget film, there were a lot of continuity errors. Gabriel's wings appear and disappear randomly throughout the film. Pacing, though is the bigest problem, with the film moving very sluggisgh at times. Despite, this, it has a cool ending.

As for DJ qualities, Keanu get to play a hellbound, Psychic, Demon Ass kicker. You know the ladies would just fall for that ****. He gets to smoke at lot and look tough too. Unfortunately, since none of that stuff actually exists, they only girls you are going to get though are crazy goth chicks. But maybe that is your thing.

In general, an okay stupid movie. I would watch it again if it was on cable.

 

[Sardaukar]

The wings do not need to be on everytime. Most watchers would understand that you cannot always see the wings.

The story made rudimentary sense, in that the plot was easily followed.

 

[cinephile]

Yeah, I figured that out. The point is why did they bother to have the wings sometimes and not others. It is really a minor point considering that the real problem with the the film is that it moved really slow at times. Personally, I liked Hellboy better. Not as cool effects or casting, but it moved well and made sense.

 

[CableLight]

I saw this movie last night very, very high. It was decent, I think, and the movie theater had a solid hookup in the form of a large popcorn/large soda combo for only $6.50.

I'm not sure I would have enjoyed it if I wasn't completely wrecked, but it was entertaining, I'll give it that.

Also, I don't think Keanu's character actually committed suicide, did he? I thought he tried to and failed or something. Whatever, I don't know.

 

[Joe The Homophobe]

Exorcisms are real. Heard plenty of interviews from real life exorcists, this stuff would scare the toughest men around.

 

[Alpine]

If they are real, maybe he could get my ex to go away.

I like 'The Exorsist' and all the myths that surround it.

Perhaps it doesn't stack up today, but still a cracker. I like that Max Von wotsit too, he's been in some of my favourite films. 3 days of the condor for one.

 

[Yotsuya-san]

Originally posted by cinephile
Keanu has been pretty good about getting away from the Bill & Ted thing.

True. Keanu is not as bad an actor as a lot of people say. Mostly it was before The Matrix that they were riffing him left and right (Bram Stoker's Dracula, Speed). But then again, Keanu is probably now fearing typecasting from being Neo in 3 movies.