Move on or hang on?

[AlphaSoldier]

Hi there,

I am pretty new to online dating. Perhaps guys
over here with more experience can provide me
with some insight.

Well, it turns out I met this chick online a few
weeks ago. She is 26 and I am 34. The age gap
didn't really bother me. She seemed mature and
centered.

Actually, SHE got in touch with me at the first
place. We started to exchange emails and MSN
three times a week. We reached a point in our
online relationship where we even discussed
family and children (that's what I'm looking for,
not just a piece of azz to bang).

Well, we agree to meet "live" a couple of days
ago. While I expected a disappointment, it turned
out to be love at first sight for me. She was
nice and charming, with awesome looks. Our date
went quite well. I think we had very good chemistry.

Next day, I wrote her a polite thanks email and
I convened a MSN session to debrief. She replied
briefly (first red flag, as she uses to write down
her thoughts extensively). Yesterday she missed our
online appointment (second BIG red flag). And today
silence radio as well.

You don't have to be Einstein to interpret that as
lack of interest. I have a huge crush on her,
but I have my dignity and self-respect.
At this point, I don't know what's the right thing
to do: get in touch with her again or move on. I
am 90% for the latter. There's more fish in the sea.

Any input?

-AS

 

[kingwilliam]

It sounds like you have already answered your own question. Keep moving forward and if she calls you, then great.....if not then you haven't stopped living.

 

[DJ#7436]

Move on, but reflect on where you went wrong. You stated you were looking for a LTR so it appears you didnt want to apply the techniques that would normally be used when just picking up a random chick for the night. Problem is, you have to treat them the same way at first...build up the interest...etc...once in person a lot of the online repituire you preiviously built up is forgotten.

my .02

NewB

 

[AlphaSoldier]

Move on, but reflect on where you went wrong. You stated you were looking for a LTR so it appears you didnt want to apply the techniques that would normally be used when just picking up a random chick for the night. Problem is, you have to treat them the same way at first...build up the interest...etc...once in person a lot of the online repituire you preiviously built up is forgotten.

my .02

NewB

Never mind. She just got back to me.

Right now I am the happiest man on earth.

-AS

 

[armadon]

WTF? listen to how you talk about the date. Debrief, appointment, is this how you talk about women?

 

[Monkey]

Never mind. She just got back to me.

Right now I am the happiest man on earth.

-AS

That 'happiness' will be your undoing if you let it control you.

Calm down, slow down and try to keep your emotions under control.

 

[DJ#7436]

That 'happiness' will be your undoing if you let it control you.

Calm down, slow down and try to keep your emotions under control.

Exactly, it appears as though you are going to let her walk all over you, and your justification is "its ok, its a LTR."

Respect yourself, protect yourself.

NewB

 

[AlphaSoldier]

That 'happiness' will be your undoing if you let it control you.

Calm down, slow down and try to keep your emotions under control.

Yeah, yeah, I know, it's my 30+ years of AFCism taking over.

But... what the heck. I think I love that chick. Or sort of.

We'll see what happens. I have a plan B in case this one goes bust.

Nobody said being a DJ was easy :rock:

-AS

 

[ducaro]

Never mind. She just got back to me.

Right now I am the happiest man on earth.

-AS

Dude, don't get me wrong... but those are the words of a true 'AFC'!
You are feeling happy because she got back to you and you are relying on this immediate feeling.. we all know that.. we've been there..

don't be too glad, be wise.. you are entering the matrix.

 

[kingwilliam]

Love? Jesus, be careful and keep your head above water......this is a 'real time' situation going on here..........listen to what everyone is saying

 

[DJ#7436]

AFC = Ask for help and ignore all advice.

NewB

 

[insomniac]

Never mind. She just got back to me.

Right now I am the happiest man on earth.

-AS

Well, I know the feeling, as I've gone through this routine dozens of times with online dating.

However, you need to prepare yourself for the reality of it. This girl may not have been as impressed with you in person as she was over e-mail/IM. Sure, she replied to you after the date, but you've seen for yourself that the dynamic has changed (flaking, short replies). She may just be replying out of politeness and has little interest in you any more (it's happened to me multiple times, and I've even done it myself to women I wasn't interested in afterwards).

Bottom line, you have WAY too much invested in how things work out with this one person. You're going to be the saddest man on earth if/when she decides to not reply to you anymore.

 

[tripleplay]

But... what the heck. I think I love that chick. Or sort of.

You need to re-read this sentence again, over and over. The time that she dumps you should not be the next time you read this.

Nobody said being a DJ was easy :rock:

Right now, your behaviour is far from DJ-esque.

Take the advice already dispatched in this thread; slow it down, look for those SOIs, and make sure you keep your emotions in check.

You'll thank us down the road.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

AFC = Ask for help and ignore all advice.

NewB

:crackup:
Sweet....