I am fully alert to the notion that motivation is an often discussed topic however I've noticed a specific pattern within myself and I want to know if you are the same and, if not, what exactly motivates you?
I would hazard a guess that 95% of my motivation for improvement comes through two distinct things:
1- Oneitis
2- Fear
Oneitis
This is my motivation right now. I had a dream about her last night; Red's got that teasing smile and that capacious bust. I mean this girl is on another level of hot- she is sexy AND elegant; she can show off those bad boys without looking like slut and her distinct nose shape gives her an unparalleled uniqueness making it impossible to forget such a face in all its perfect imperfect beauty. Now I do not mistake this physical rush of raw animal emotion to be "love" as I have little idea to what she is actually like. In fact she could be moronically bland and I would not have noticed (I have no doubt that there is much more depth to this girl as with anyone but perhaps I was only paying to attention to how I acted and how she looked).
My adolescent crush is not fueled by that "special" girl but rather what Red represents. To me a girl like this is the epitome of high status and the "pursuit of happiness" as she is what I want but can't have. She is a prize above and beyond my social reach and when I think about her and how inconceivable it is for me to bag a girl like that it grinds my f**king gears. I want her and I am hot enough for her but it is that oppressive social order that gets in my way. I want to be the man. I want to be the guy that f**ks the girl for once. I wish to be the Alpha. I find it very hard and frightening to compete with these dominant males but that is another story. It is not actually about Red but only my ego and the desire to f**k.
It propelled me to work out; to be dominant; to read that bull**** literature. It is an unhealthy motivation but one that pushes me more in the long run than any of the others.
Fear
For a while now (even previous to this adventure) I have believed fear to be a primary source of my motivation. When it comes to academia I put the work in at the last minute; a final sprint to the line. This has been moderately successful for me and I've achieved well above average results but significantly lower than many of my peers who are theoretically of the same potential. It is OF COURSE the fear of consequence that terrifies me because if I don't pass that test and if I don't get that mark then I will not make it to the next level. It is a fear of punishment that drives. BUT NO! It is not.
Recent revelations imply one thing and one thing only when it comes to motivation- I do not fear the consequences. I don't give a **** about detentions; if I don't make it to a top university that is not the end- there are other avenues to explore. The one paralyzing, immobilizing fear that moderates my minimum AND maximum effort is the fear of shame. The fear that if I do not complete my work I will experience extreme inferiority; that ****slap to the face. A sense of unworthiness is what burns that last minute fire inside of me, I cannot be a failure.
This is also the greatest limiter- what if I put everything in and still fall down? That will show an intrinsic weakness down to my core, there will be no excuse; nothing to blame. That is what we are afraid of. WAIT BUT THERE'S MORE!
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure."
Now, like me, you may remember this as being part of the inspirational poem that Timo (the dude rocking the porn-star moustache) recites at the end of Coach Carter. This has an undeniable but often unexplored level of truth to it. This is because frankly on the face of it there is almost no logic- "yeah dude your totally right; my biggest fear is having loads of money, *****, influence and beatboxing skills". I mean why would we be afraid of greatness? Because with power comes great responsibility. It is a fear of the responsibility; the pressure of the spotlight.
In a side note: if asked- would I rather be a woman or a man, my answer is dependent on what type of man. If I have the balls and the drive to seize what I want with relentless persistence then I choose to be a man. But if not then I would opt for the fairer sex. When people say its a mans world- they aren't talking about me (currently), they ain't talking about the average man, they are talking about THE man; Lincoln, Clinton, Cruise, Jobs and regretfully even Hitler.
My point here is that my major sources of motivation are paradoxically flawed and inevitably lead to mediocrity. Are yours?
For those of you who are more complete individuals- what is it that motivates you? I'd like to know in an effort to capture that drive.
I would hazard a guess that 95% of my motivation for improvement comes through two distinct things:
1- Oneitis
2- Fear
Oneitis
This is my motivation right now. I had a dream about her last night; Red's got that teasing smile and that capacious bust. I mean this girl is on another level of hot- she is sexy AND elegant; she can show off those bad boys without looking like slut and her distinct nose shape gives her an unparalleled uniqueness making it impossible to forget such a face in all its perfect imperfect beauty. Now I do not mistake this physical rush of raw animal emotion to be "love" as I have little idea to what she is actually like. In fact she could be moronically bland and I would not have noticed (I have no doubt that there is much more depth to this girl as with anyone but perhaps I was only paying to attention to how I acted and how she looked).
My adolescent crush is not fueled by that "special" girl but rather what Red represents. To me a girl like this is the epitome of high status and the "pursuit of happiness" as she is what I want but can't have. She is a prize above and beyond my social reach and when I think about her and how inconceivable it is for me to bag a girl like that it grinds my f**king gears. I want her and I am hot enough for her but it is that oppressive social order that gets in my way. I want to be the man. I want to be the guy that f**ks the girl for once. I wish to be the Alpha. I find it very hard and frightening to compete with these dominant males but that is another story. It is not actually about Red but only my ego and the desire to f**k.
It propelled me to work out; to be dominant; to read that bull**** literature. It is an unhealthy motivation but one that pushes me more in the long run than any of the others.
Fear
For a while now (even previous to this adventure) I have believed fear to be a primary source of my motivation. When it comes to academia I put the work in at the last minute; a final sprint to the line. This has been moderately successful for me and I've achieved well above average results but significantly lower than many of my peers who are theoretically of the same potential. It is OF COURSE the fear of consequence that terrifies me because if I don't pass that test and if I don't get that mark then I will not make it to the next level. It is a fear of punishment that drives. BUT NO! It is not.
Recent revelations imply one thing and one thing only when it comes to motivation- I do not fear the consequences. I don't give a **** about detentions; if I don't make it to a top university that is not the end- there are other avenues to explore. The one paralyzing, immobilizing fear that moderates my minimum AND maximum effort is the fear of shame. The fear that if I do not complete my work I will experience extreme inferiority; that ****slap to the face. A sense of unworthiness is what burns that last minute fire inside of me, I cannot be a failure.
This is also the greatest limiter- what if I put everything in and still fall down? That will show an intrinsic weakness down to my core, there will be no excuse; nothing to blame. That is what we are afraid of. WAIT BUT THERE'S MORE!
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure."
Now, like me, you may remember this as being part of the inspirational poem that Timo (the dude rocking the porn-star moustache) recites at the end of Coach Carter. This has an undeniable but often unexplored level of truth to it. This is because frankly on the face of it there is almost no logic- "yeah dude your totally right; my biggest fear is having loads of money, *****, influence and beatboxing skills". I mean why would we be afraid of greatness? Because with power comes great responsibility. It is a fear of the responsibility; the pressure of the spotlight.
In a side note: if asked- would I rather be a woman or a man, my answer is dependent on what type of man. If I have the balls and the drive to seize what I want with relentless persistence then I choose to be a man. But if not then I would opt for the fairer sex. When people say its a mans world- they aren't talking about me (currently), they ain't talking about the average man, they are talking about THE man; Lincoln, Clinton, Cruise, Jobs and regretfully even Hitler.
My point here is that my major sources of motivation are paradoxically flawed and inevitably lead to mediocrity. Are yours?
For those of you who are more complete individuals- what is it that motivates you? I'd like to know in an effort to capture that drive.