Motivation

[Jerry Maguire]

I broke up with my ex about a month ago
I still think about her a lot
But I've been in the community for years and years
For some reason though I have no motivation to approach
Even if I see a girl I'm attracted to I still don't feel any excitement

Just to clarify my feelings, I'm not feeling so much down about her, sometimes an associated image, feelings etc just brings back a memory of her.
The problem I'm having (as far as i know) is not due to me still being hung up on her, more of the thought of having a conversation with an attractive woman not very exciting.

p.s. Nobody call me a gayer for not finding attractive women exciting, k? haha

 

[WC2]

You're not gay.

At least you admit that this is holding you back.

There are far too many men who come on these boards denying that they still have feelings for their ex. These men are the ones who will hurt for a long period of time, because they are denying their reality.

I'm pretty sure most of us have been in your shoes and I can tell you I have DEFINITELY been in your shoes a few times when it comes to this type of thing. You need time and improvement to heal.

While getting other women will boost your confidence, it's not the end all of the pain. The end all of the pain is when you realize that you can live on your own without any woman, ex, or slut.

Be warned that when this feeling does hit, it's like any other.. you're going to feel like a million bucks. You're going to feel EXHILARATED. Words can't even describe how one feels when he wakes up one day and realizes that he is a single man who's self worth is very high and can have any woman he wants if he really wants her.

Remember this when you're going through these rough patches in getting over the ex. And don't and I repeat DON'T get back into another relationship right now. It's unhealthy. You need to heal, mend, improve on your mistakes, and become better than you ever were.

You should be looking forward to it.

 

[Interceptor]

You need to work on disassociating the ended relationship with any potential ones.
You need to work on recognizing your emotional reosurces.
You can look into meditation and EFT. Definitely do fun things. Follow your passions and creativity.
DO things that are fulfilling to you. Build up your self esteem, and your resources. Make sure you are working towards your goals, and making real progress. When you are fulfilled by other things in your life you have more to share with others.

That way you can start to realize that you have enough emotional resources to share with a potential partner in the future.

Stop associating pain and suffering with relationships. And start thinking about how much fun you can have with the right partner.