Ronny_Neumonic II
Master Don Juan
Ok 1 or 2 of you might remember my last whiny ass post, where I *****ed about how much of a loser I was. Well guess what, in all that time I've done absolutely NOTHING. Ever get the feeling that life is passing you by? Or am I just being melodramatic here?
I havn't had much emotion in my life for the last while besides a bit of partying then feeling like crap the rest of the time. I'm starting to feel as though there is such thing as destiny, and I've been destined to spend life alone feeling like crap. I love when a time comes that I make a post like this, because this is the point I ALWAYS come to (check my previous posts) when I get so pissed at being a loser I decide to start doing something about it again....until I fúck up as usual and end up back where I was.
I dont really know if many of you can connect with me here. I'm 19 and I'm a virgin. Not because of lack of available *****, but because I'm a scared little bítch half the time. And half the time my fear isn't just in my head. I'm weird around girls sometimes. Not psycho weird, but just really quiet and I havn't for a LONG time had a decent connection with a female where I thought "wow this chick is really cool". I think I have this site to blame for that
I don't know what it is. I can meet new girls but I will never have more of a connection other than wanting to score her, where as in the past, although it was pretty sad to look back on, but I used to think I was in love with girls all the time. There was a connection there. I didn't just like the way a girl looked, but I actually liked everything about her. Now girls are basically the same as everything else in my life. Emotionless.
I dunno why I've typed so long about nothing, but I dunno, maybe I'm just looking for someone to turn around and tell me something that will affect me so much that when I wake up tomorrow I'll be happy to be alive. As opposed to this horrible state of indifference. The only reason that I don't want to die, is that I feel that I used to have so much potential. But now all of a sudden it's gone. I'm good for nothing. It's like I've turned back into an afc (and dont say that I always was one, I just got stuck somewhere in between the ideals of an afc and a dj, in a sort of no mans land), except when I was an afc I actually had a slight appetite for life. For fun. For anger. For love. For food. For every new opportunity.
Now it's all gone. I really need to get my life back on track...
I havn't had much emotion in my life for the last while besides a bit of partying then feeling like crap the rest of the time. I'm starting to feel as though there is such thing as destiny, and I've been destined to spend life alone feeling like crap. I love when a time comes that I make a post like this, because this is the point I ALWAYS come to (check my previous posts) when I get so pissed at being a loser I decide to start doing something about it again....until I fúck up as usual and end up back where I was.
I dont really know if many of you can connect with me here. I'm 19 and I'm a virgin. Not because of lack of available *****, but because I'm a scared little bítch half the time. And half the time my fear isn't just in my head. I'm weird around girls sometimes. Not psycho weird, but just really quiet and I havn't for a LONG time had a decent connection with a female where I thought "wow this chick is really cool". I think I have this site to blame for that
I don't know what it is. I can meet new girls but I will never have more of a connection other than wanting to score her, where as in the past, although it was pretty sad to look back on, but I used to think I was in love with girls all the time. There was a connection there. I didn't just like the way a girl looked, but I actually liked everything about her. Now girls are basically the same as everything else in my life. Emotionless.
I dunno why I've typed so long about nothing, but I dunno, maybe I'm just looking for someone to turn around and tell me something that will affect me so much that when I wake up tomorrow I'll be happy to be alive. As opposed to this horrible state of indifference. The only reason that I don't want to die, is that I feel that I used to have so much potential. But now all of a sudden it's gone. I'm good for nothing. It's like I've turned back into an afc (and dont say that I always was one, I just got stuck somewhere in between the ideals of an afc and a dj, in a sort of no mans land), except when I was an afc I actually had a slight appetite for life. For fun. For anger. For love. For food. For every new opportunity.
Now it's all gone. I really need to get my life back on track...