Mostly Weak Men Are The Ones Who Have Girlfriends

[st_99]

Your basic premise is fine I think. Especially in low to mid 20's we have a lot of life to live and to get into a serious relationship is generally a bad idea.

But, you can always say, had I known then what I know now... etc. It's easy to say what you SHOULD be doing but actually DOING IT is another story.

 

[drak_ool]

The mid-20s Man pursuing his ambition to become an attorney in law school or the pre-med intern spending long hours at the hospital with aspirations of becoming a doctor is hindered and encumbered with the complications that spinning plates necessitates of him. His time and efforts need to be applied toward achieving his goals to become an even higher value Man - not just in terms of financial success but for his own edification and confidence. Needless to say, the constraints and obligations that spinning plates requires- both in time and emotional investment - make achieving these ambitions far more difficult.

See where I'm going with that? While I have been a disciple of Plate-Spinning theory for 4 years now, I think that in certain contexts it is hard to do correctly. Grad school is a prime example, so I'm glad you brought that up. Straddled with debt, working in clerk/intern type positions making peanuts, smothered with thousands of pages of readings, the modern grad student is not in the advantageous position to spin plates, or, to be more precise, to replace plates as they drop out of his rotation.

I see a lot of guys in grad school who end up settling for some nasty lawyer she-monster in the making because they simply don't have the time, energy, and money to chase tail. In that context, having a steady girlfriend can be helpful, however the problem with a lot of them is that instead of dropping the girl like a bad habit once they start making money, they marry the bi.tch instead...

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Besides that, goals and dreams change over time. What may have been an attractive goal at one point will change into another goal later on,...

This is what guys tell their best friend when he asks, "hey man, why did you drop out of medical school, change your major and transfer to that other college where your LDR girlfriend decided to go?"

 

[ChanceBoudreaux]

if your girlfriend was a 10 , a real hot down to earth 10

why would you even need to spin plates with a magnitude of 6 and belows

 

[zekko]

I spun plates throughout most of my 20s and early 30s. But I find this idea "Thou must spin plates, and thou shalt only spin plates" too limiting in itself. I learned more about women from my LTRs than from any of my casual relationships. Trying both gives you the greater wealth of experience.

And when I did have a regular girlfriend I sure as hell did not sit around thinking about what a weak loser I was because of it. Now THAT would be some restrictive thinking.

 

[comic_relief]

This is what guys tell their best friend when he asks, "hey man, why did you drop out of medical school, change your major and transfer to that other college where your LDR girlfriend decided to go?"

I agree with you if that was the only reason that you chose to do something was because of a girl. If you have your reasons backed up with your own drives than why not?

People's ideas and dreams change over time. As long as your reasons are NOT because of a girl but because you wanted to do the change. Than how is that bad? I am curious since I have been drilled with the idea at sosuave that you do changes only for YOU.

I chose my major based on what I wanted to do. I am choosing to move to a foreign country for me. I am choosing to do everything for me. If it happens to work out that I find a girl that enjoys the same thing, so be it.

- comic_relief

 

[runner83]

A complete over generalisation.

I can see both sides of the argument and it really depends on the particular situation.

There's plenty of losers who don't have girlfriends as well.

 

[zekko]

Here's another reason to spin plates, if you like to be around pretty women:

It is one heckuva lot easier to see a very attractive woman on a casual basis than it is to try and hook her into a relationship. To do that, you have to be THE man out of all the guys she's seeing, and that is not so easy.

 

[sstype]

I'm 24 and am currently dating one girl. I told her I can't make any promises for a serious commitment, and for now she's cool with it.

Frankly, with all the time I spend at work, school, gym, and social stuff/hobbies, I can't be bothered trying to "spin more plates." Why should I when I already have someone attractive, fun to be around, and sexually accomodating? Yeah, I may be limiting myself, but honestly looking at the majority of women and the way most of them look and act, I don't really think I'm missing out on much.

Most of the attractive girls I want have boyfriends or a FB, and the single ones don't throw themselves at me or make it easy to just hook up....so its not like I can just pull at ease unless I put in the effort to "date" them or live the "player/PUA/rockstar" lifestyle.

I'm perfectly content with what I have right now....maybe ill hit up the club every once in a while and try for a ONS but that's about as much effort im willing to exert. If or when my current girl leaves me, so what....I'll find another one. I don't need 5 other plates spinning to reassure my ability to get girls or prevent oneitis. She wasn't the first and she won't be the last.

My philosphy is if you have ambitions and goals, find a cool girl to date and get on with living your life.
There's more to it than trying to get laid all the time.

 

[search1ng]

Now, of course this is not to generalize every man who has a girlfriend. Some of them have a "girlfriend" but they still bang other girls on the side. This post does not apply to these guys. If you are one of these guys, disregard this post and move on. This post is for men who would not cheat on their girlfriends and who have at least some type of decency / respect.

I have been doing some thinking. If you are a man who is in the 20-30 age range, why on Earth would you want to have sex with JUST ONE WOMAN? I know a guy who is 25 years old and has been in a relationship for the past 3-4 years. Shouldn't someone in their 20's want to be free and go around hunting and gaming as many girls as he can? We are men! It's about the thrill of the hunt!

How is it fun to only have sex with one girl in the prime of your life?

I came up with the conclusion that it is weak men who are scared about going out and finding another girl. They found one girl and thought to themselves "OMG! I can't let her go! There's no one else!"

The idea of "Yeah I want to have sex with just one woman!" seems completely beta and almost kind of g.ay if you think about it. Why would you not want to hunt other women?

The reason why I can't get into a relationship is because I can't STAND the thought of "one woman" and I have at least some decency about me so I wouldn't want to have a girlfriend I didn't care about just so I could cheat on her.

This is why I stay single. Do you guys agree that men who are in relationships in the prime of their life are mostly weak men who are betas?

I even had guys in relationships tell me "1 is better than 0" but I'm sure you experienced DJ's on here can see the faultiness and lameness of that argument.

Basically my main point is this: If you have a girlfriend and are cheating on her, why not just stay single then? You're just a worthless human being at this point.

And if you do want a relationship with just one woman, what on Earth is wrong with you?!?!?

I don't cheat w/e guess that makes me the decent one with some respect.

Look, for me the outcome isn't about the sex. Sex is great, I love it, can't get enough of it, it's not really that uber important in the scheme of things though. I'm in the prime of my life 20-30 and I'm investing my time in furthering different aspects of my life. In saying that I find that shallow relationships based around the physical isn't enough to really get to know a person. So i keep my LTR's to about 1yr in length. Cutting a girl loose is no problem if I feel she isn't worth the effort anymore, why? Because as much as the opposite is spread across this forum, someday in the future I'd like to be able to relax on a Sunday afternoon with a nice drink, with my significant other watching my little rugrats do their thing.

 

[pr0teus]

If you can actually find the girl of your life before you're 30, then lucky you, I guess. But the odds are definitely against you.

I know a guy who's been in a relationship from the age of 16, and now they are engaged at 24. That's 8 bloody years. And of course nobody wants to be "that guy" and ruin it for the "cute couple" by telling him she's a complete eyesore and a social pariah. Not that he'll listen, of course. He's a decent fellow, he deserves better.

I for one would rather die alone than live a life of half-assed relationships.

 

[zekko]

If you can actually find the girl of your life before you're 30, then lucky you, I guess.

I see it as win/win. If you find the girl you like early on, great.
If not, then you get a few more years of running around.
It's all good.

 

[DRECKONER]

Excuse me Mr.

it is so obvious how young the idiot males are on this post.
One of you said, "If you are a man who is in the 20-30 age range, why on Earth would you want to have sex with JUST ONE WOMAN?
The idea of "Yeah I want to have sex with just one woman!" seems completely beta and almost kind of g.ay if you think about it. Why would you not want to hunt other women?".

ARE U KIDDIN ME?
Everyone knows why you would want to be faithful and have a monagamous relationship.
Just maybe u want to have more to the relationship than putting your part in her slot. I mean, why kind of vacuous mindless idiots are you?

Its one thing to just bounce around having sex with mutliple women and its another to pronounce that those that dont are weak. I would have to call you weak and of limited intelligence.
But then, I think it best to quote Ben Harper.

"So excuse me Mr, but I'm a Mr too
And you're giving Mr a bad name, Mr like you
So im taking the Mr from out infront of your name
Coz it's the Mr like you that puts the rest of us to shame"

no go away son, ya bother me.
freakin idiots.
:trouble:
tj

 

[initiatorhater06]

I agree, that is why I hate when people say "it is never too late", because it's better in your prime years instead when you become an old rag

 

[Trump]

I think ROCKAROLLA is 100% correct.

How common it is today to be married or getting married before we've realized any of our potential. The longer you remain uncommitted, the more opportunities will be available to you. It's been stated by wiser Men than I that women are dream-killers - and while I agree with this, I'd say this is due more to the man involved, and their own complicity and apathy, than some grand scheme of women.

It's actually in women's best interest that you don't commit to them for a variety of reasons. I realize how counterintuitive that reads, but in your being so readily available you decrease your value as a commodity to them. Scarcity increases value, and particularly when the reason for that scarcity is something that serves another's interest (hers in this example). The mid-20s Man pursuing his ambition to become an attorney in law school or the pre-med intern spending long hours at the hospital with aspirations of becoming a doctor is hindered and encumbered with the complications that maintaining a monogamous relationship necessitates of him. His time and efforts need to be applied toward acheiving his goals to become an even higher value Man - not just in terms of financial success but for his own edification and confidence. Needless to say, the constraints and obligations that maintaining a monogamous relationship require - both in time and emotional investment - make achieving these ambitions far more difficult.

I tend to promote the idea that Men should be sexually and emotionally non-exclusive until age 30, but this is a minimal suggestion. I think 35 may even serve better for Men. The importance being that as a Man ages and matures in his career, his ambitions and passions, his personality, his ability to better judge character, his overall understanding of behavior and motivations, etc. he becomes more valuable to the most desirable women and therefore enjoys better opportunity in this respect. Women's sexual value decreases as they age and the balance tips into the older Man's favor. It's the Men who realize this early and understand that bettering themselves in the now will pay off better in the future while still enjoying (and learning from) the opportunities that come from being non-exclusive and non-commital make him a Man that women will compete for in the long term.

In your mid-20s you are at the apex of your potential with regards to the direction you will influence your life to go. I'm not going to make any friends by pointing this out, but what pisses off most "serial monogamists" is the unspoken regret of having assumed the responsibilities, liabilities and accountability of what monogamy demands before they truly understood their potential.

Women should only ever be a compliment to a man's life, never the focus of it.

Who said you can't be monogamous and / or be married and still understand your full potential? It's never black and white the way you are describing.

People marry in med school and can still travel the world. People meet in law school and still have 20 countries stamped on the passport. Just because you are married doesn't mean you have to cater or spend 24/7 with the person. You can be married and still go to school, still work, still cure cancer. Tons and tons of people have done it, it just takes that much more effort and work, which alot guys don't want to do.

Life and girls NEVER wait around you, you have to make it happen if you want it to happen.

 

[DonGorgon]

well i had a fantastic girl for 8 years and never regret it cause she was so fine and smart and great..lol but all great things must end..

 

[Alex DeLarge]

Some dudes enjoy being in relationships, some dudes don't. Let them live their life and you can live yours. Who cares if they're weak or strong.

 

[MaTuA]

I've been on here a a member for quite a long time now. I rarely post; only when I feel it's needed, really. This is a great post and I've seen alot of b.s. thru the years. Take the advice from Rollo and run with it.

 

[Sofomore]

I agree, the OP is just misinformed. He has been told all his life that being in a relationship is awful and is for pussies. Have you actually been in one? Have you ever had a real connection with a woman? Or do you only think about where you are getting your **** wet that night?

 

[thedude4242]

this seems 100% right. women do not want a man 100% secure with himself in every category. they want a man who seems like they are but have a few things women can say and do to break them down if they need to.