"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Most girls are afraid to approach is it our fault???

ricorico

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I've seen a few girls approach buddies of mine which seems great. but in talking to these guys they never have had a LTR with a woman who approached first. Last week I was at a bar-b-que with some friends when 2 girls who live near me began talking about a guy who seems new in our neighborhood and walks his dog. They thought he was super-hot, but both said he was not very friendly. It seems a 3rd girl had noticed him also and mentioned it to one of the 2 girls talking earlier during the week. Noone knew where he lived.

The girls were figuring out a way to talk to him. One thought he was shy, the other thought perhaps stuck-up. I aksed why noone just went up to talk to him since they all seem so interested,they looked shocked. They figured he must have a girlfriend or he only dates "model" types. Meanwhile the two girls talking are really hot with knock-out bodies. Both also said they've never had any good experiences with guys they approach first because the guys just thought they were easy and besides, guys like the chase.

So is it our fault we take women who approach us as easy and the ones who make us work hard for a date we appreciate more,therfore making it unpleasent experience for women to approach first??
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Obsidian

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girls who approach usually are easy. It takes ballz to approach, and you can't be in a relationship with a masculine woman. I don't particularly like the chase, but that's just the way things are.
 
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As I stated - this is not the natural order of things - as Obsidian example shows!!

Ricorico, you gave them the wrong advice - you should have told them that they must make themselves available to him!

Like when he is jogging, she should sit on the stoop, with a dress on and no panties, opening and closing her legs creating a fan like breeze to cool him down as he runs by --- make sure to tell her to wash her stank hole before she does this or it'll work against her!!! If it's not clean then the bastard will most likely faint in disgust and smash his face on the cement!!

Lawsuit anyone? I would like to be in the courtroom as a juror when they try the case - I'll be laughing violently!!! And yes the hor will be guilty - for odor pollution and for showing that frightening monstrosity in public!!!!

If the children see that mess they'll be crying all the way home "Mommy, mommy. I just saw a monster!!!! It had a big ugly hairy mouth and was ready to eat me!!!"
 
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In2theGame

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ricorico said:
I've seen a few girls approach buddies of mine which seems great. but in talking to these guys they never have had a LTR with a woman who approached first. Last week I was at a bar-b-que with some friends when 2 girls who live near me began talking about a guy who seems new in our neighborhood and walks his dog. They thought he was super-hot, but both said he was not very friendly. It seems a 3rd girl had noticed him also and mentioned it to one of the 2 girls talking earlier during the week. Noone knew where he lived.

The girls were figuring out a way to talk to him. One thought he was shy, the other thought perhaps stuck-up. I aksed why noone just went up to talk to him since they all seem so interested,they looked shocked. They figured he must have a girlfriend or he only dates "model" types. Meanwhile the two girls talking are really hot with knock-out bodies. Both also said they've never had any good experiences with guys they approach first because the guys just thought they were easy and besides, guys like the chase.

So is it our fault we take women who approach us as easy and the ones who make us work hard for a date we appreciate more,therfore making it unpleasent experience for women to approach first??
This is very good post IMO because it is very true. even hot girls look but never approach. Example of this was something that happened to me today at a SUBWAY near by my house. Like ive mentions in another post, ive transformed my looks, Nice body, clothes shaven..etc. anyway i was lookin alright today and i was ordering my food when this pretty hot girl comes in.. i ignore her, get my food and sit down. Now shes ordering and then gets her drinks and straws by my seat and im staring at her, she knows im looking and she seemed nervous and fvck. while shes walking out she quickly glances over at me and i gave a little wave and smerk.. her eyes looked away quick! and a smile came on her face, she ran into the door as she tried opening it on the wrong side lol... but anyway. hot girls are so scared to approach a hot guy, Like i said before.. if ANY girl gets rejected by a good looking guy, its the end of the world for them, they can cut their wrist.
 

In2theGame

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Last Man Standing said:
You gave them the wrong advice - you should have told them that they must make themselves available to him! Like when he is running she shoud sit on the stoop opening and closing her legs creating a fan like breeze to cool him down when he runs by --- make sure they wash their stank holes before they do this or it'll work against them!!!
WTF!? LMAO.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Tha Realnezz

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lol how do you figure girls that approach are easy,man?
 

Tha Realnezz

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They dont approach guys cuz they figure guys that dont approach them first must not really like them.

Body language plays a part as well...if a chic dfoesnt see you smiling and laughing or talking to someone she figures you're shy/anti-social or taken..
 

Zerix

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Last Man Standing said:
As I stated - this is not the natural order of things - as Obsidian example shows!!

You gave them the wrong advice - you should have told them that they must make themselves available to him! Like when he is running she shoud sit on the stoop opening and closing her legs creating a fan like breeze to cool him down when he runs by --- make sure they wash their stank holes before they do this or it'll work against them!!! If not clean then the bastard will most likely faint in disgust and smash his face on the cement!!

Lawsuit anyone? I would like to be in the courtroom as a juror when they try the case - I'll be laughing violently!!! And yes the hor will be guilty - for odor pollution and for showing that frightening monstrosity in public!!!!

If the children see that mess they'll be crying all the way home "Mommy, mommy. I just saw a monster!!!! It had a big ugly hairy mouth and was ready to eat me!!!"
GODAMN IT LMS!! :crackup: :crackup: :crackup:
 

ConantheLibertarian

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Obsidian said:
girls who approach usually are easy. It takes ballz to approach, and you can't be in a relationship with a masculine woman. I don't particularly like the chase, but that's just the way things are.
Spot on, but I do like the chase, a lot :D. As you said, that's just the way things are. It's not anyone's fault, chicks just don't approach very often. It's our job to do it. That alone should be a big shot of confidence for a lot of guys.
 

Dark Chivalry

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Obsidian said:
girls who approach usually are easy. It takes ballz to approach, and you can't be in a relationship with a masculine woman.
If a girl enjoys approaching men and she looks halfway near decent, she is getting c*ck galore! When a woman is approaching you, you know she is physically and sexually attracted to you, which makes things easy. Are you saying no to that prospect? Are you interested in girls like that for the long run? Why would other men not do the same?
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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IamtheAlphamale

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When chicks approach me it has never worked for them. Even if they are hot I don't really seem to care. I just don't really pay attention to them. So yes I would say it is our fault. Men only value things they have to work for. I read that somewhere.
 

FoolsCause

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Last month, I was playing poker near a bar, and an attractive, young woman walked up to me from the bar and gave me a bedroom-eyes stare, directly into my eyes, which I exchanged for about 5 seconds :crazy: ... I was surprised and at a loss for words and thought possibly she was looking at the large-screen TV behind me, so I sat down for the next deal of cards, the dealer asked her if she wanted to play poker, and when I looked over, she had taken off. That one was my fault. Damn, that doesn't happen every day, kind of like money falling off a tree. :cuss:
 

ricorico

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In seeing these answers I am suprised guys are so judgemental towards women who approach. it's like we are just as complicated and fickle as women. We're pissed we have to do all the work in approaching,yet when it happens it's cause she must be easy so we don't want her as much. maybe it can be because she sees a guy she actually is very attracted to and she does'nt want the oppurtunity to meet him to go away. As opposed to waiting for guys to hit on her and the majority are losers . She may think she either has to take, the least bad of the lot, or take matters into her own hands and try to get the type of guy who really turns her on.
 

Tazman

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People lie. I bet if a woman who was found to be attractive to any of these guys, approached and initiated a conversation, and toward the end asked for a phone number, there would be absolutely no hesitation in giving it out and following up.

Unless you're in a situation where attractive women approach you constantly, such as various celebrities, high status people, etc.(or you're in some serious committed relationship), you're going to take advantage of the opportunity.

Most times a woman has approached me I simply wasn't attracted to begin with (and being approached by women has been very rare). It had nothing to do with the fact that they initiated. Some women just aren't attractive enough to sit back and wait for the guy they like to hit on them, they're usually more aggressive because they want to maximize their chances of getting what they want.

I've also experienced the opposite, where I was quite shocked and pleased (extremely rare, like maybe twice in my life). Some women can increase their value to a guy by being somewhat of a challenge, it's all relative though. Of course if some beautiful random woman were to come up to me and start rubbing my crotch and kissing me I'd think she was crazy and it would override my physical attraction to her because her behavior is careless and extreme (threatening).

We chase because most men don't have a choice, even if a chick likes you she'll leave it up to you to approach her. I don't mind this when they give you good IOI's though.
 

Obsidian

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IOIs are good, but if she's actually approaching you and acting bold, chances are she will continue to act that way toward other guys (and not be exclusive with you or submissive toward you). You'll just be the next pimp in line, which I guess is fine if that's all you're looking for.

ricorico said:
We're pissed we have to do all the work in approaching
I'm not pissed about it. It's an aspect of masculinity that I'm proud to exemplify (at times) and continue to work on. Actually, imo, approaching isn't a very big deal at all. It's closing that I still have significant trouble with. :(
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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wheelin&dealin

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A women will have to approach a guy if no guys approach her... which means she's unattractive.... therefore she's disgusting.
 

Poonani Maker

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Girls submit when you've finally overtaken her and won. They lie on their backs like dead bugs.
 

Bonez

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Girls approach me ALLLLL the time... is that a bad thing? No.

I walk up to girls, give them a look and I say nothing, I wait for some of them to speak first. A lot of them do, does that mean they initiated the conversation? No.

I love the approach, I love getting nervous around girls. Everytime I approach a babe and talk to her, I feel like I'm making a new friend, not a new ex lover. Half the girls I sleep with I never talk to, and I hate that, I wish I could keep talking to all of them, instead of avoiding them like the freaking plague.

So when guys say women are afraid to approach is DAMN true, there are so many misconceptions normal guys make about women its amazing. As soon as a babe approaches they think they've got her in bed already, so they keep sarging looking for something better while she waits. Its cool like that, but its still very wrong.

One thing for sure though, women who KNOW they are afraid are hella good when they do decide to finally approach. They have some of the smooshest lines, and they get that tension built up (i've gotten a raging boner from talking to a girl about school when she approached me), I only wish I could make a girl almost orgasm in the first minute I talk to her.

So yeah, if you ever get in a situation where you're talking about a girls fear of approaching... stop talking, you're not going to make them feel any better about themselves. Cognitive dissonance is a biotch, and theres no way you're going to have the skill to make them change in a single conversation. If you're their friend though, well you have a lot of time, and you'll have girls approaching random guys giving out fake phone numbers in no time.
 

ScrewIt

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I think a lot of women just have a harder time handling rejection. I know some of you including me have tried cold approaches with women who gave off IOI's, and when it came to she clams up and freezes - being aloof. Or how about those in unhappy relationships with guys that have cheated on them, they might be interested in other guys but they definitely wont have the balls to go out with them even if the guy asked.

Most women are too passive about this kind of stuff. They'd rather let a great catch fly away than taking a risk (with a possible chance of getting hurt).
 

S.S.N. 318

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Deus ex Pianoforte said:
If they don't want to approach, it's their loss. :down:
Real talk Money....word....
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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