Most friends/relatives are getting married (if not already). Am I the smartest?

[bario]

Just attended an engagement party of my relative that I was invited to.
This made me realize that most of them (friends and relatives) got/are getting married, yet I don't buy this... marriage.

And you know, it happens quite often when I'm around them that they mention I need to marry and it's time now (I'm 32).

So am I smarter than them? And what's your view on this situation.

(I know the majority here are against marriage)

 

[BadBoy89]

(I know the majority here are against marriage)

No they are not. The majority here just tell men to do what is best for them.

If you think marriage is BEST for you, go for it. Just remember, once you get married, she has legal POWER over you.

 

[SW15]

You're 32, this is normal. For most men, somewhere between 25-35, they will experience a flurry of weddings in their social circle. For me, there was one year where 3 men in my local circle all married in the same calendar year. A 4th man from this circle received an ultimatum at the reception of one of these 3 weddings and later got married.

You must be secure with yourself and your own decision making process. It's a bad idea to get married to cave into the pressure of a flurry of weddings in the social circle and/or family.

The majority of marriages fail. Most marriages include at least one of the following: a divorce, an affair, a subpar existence with sporadic sex. None of the 3 are good and sometimes all 3 can happen within the years of a marriage.

No one cares if you don't get married. Your friends and family members of a similar age will likely divorce at some point.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Just attended an engagement party of my relative that I was invited to.
This made me realize that most of them (friends and relatives) got/are getting married, yet I don't buy this... marriage.

And you know, it happens quite often when I'm around them that they mention I need to marry and it's time now (I'm 32).

So am I smarter than them? And what's your view on this situation.

(I know the majority here are against marriage)

Yes, you are smarter. You don’t have to get married these days even if you want to have family and kids.

 

[Bokanovsky]

No they are not. The majority here just tell men to do what is best for them.

If you think marriage is BEST for you, go for it. Just remember, once you get married, she has legal POWER over you.

Can you think of a real life scenario where marriage actually benefits you as a man? I can only think of one: you are a male gold digger marrying a significantly wealthier woman.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

At this point I'm confident me and my married friends will be together again, or some of them at minimum

 

[Barrister]

has everything to do with whether you meet the right woman worthy of marriage.

Correct. And most don't meet the right women but get married anyway. Half of them get divorced. Probably a majority of those who don't get divorced are miserable.

OP - yes, you are wise to take your time.

 

[RBK]

Only time I think marriage makes sense is if you want to have a family. (Even then it's dangerous). Otherwise it's a lot of negative bullet points in your column. Some men are afraid to be alone, but I think as a man you need to be OK being by yourself or you are useless as a man. No man should NEED a woman.

There are good women out there that would make good wives but I see men making bad vetting choices due to their girlfriends bilogical clock ticking and all their friends getting married hence putting pressure on them to propose. These women are not the ones you should marry.

 

[2Rocky]

It depends on what is important to you. I married younger than most people in my family because I wasn't feeling abundant in my sex and social life. I have an uncle who never married and is 76 years old now. I'm seeing with him that at some point men crave female long term companionship. He has serious commitment issues and is prone to analysis paralysis when it comes to making decisions. His mother filled that role for a number of years, and he sought out girlfriends who were decisive, strong women, so he didn't have to worry about making a decision.

People who have never married ARE more self centered, without a doubt. Whether that is a fault determines on how they express it among their friends and family. They also don't do as well compromising in group situations where consensus is a must unless they actively learn to.
From the single adults I interact with there is an Expiration Date for being able to find and commit to a long term mate. In women it is before age 40, and men is age 50. Past those points they become rigid and inflexible.