Most f*cked up sh*t you ever said to a girl

[Chamber36]

Last night I started crackin up about all the messed up sh*t i said to girls lately.

I'd like to make a list of funny comments I said.

1. You look like a taxi driver.
2. You look like a granny.
3. Someone else will get my d*ck hard.
4. how come all the girls here are such sluts?

besides comments, we could also list our lies we've said to women. For example:

5. I'm a masters student in super engineering. (this one blew me)

Anyway I just had a lot of fun saying these things to women. And I'd like to see what you guys have said.

 

[Chamber36]

Also:

6. Where did you get your dress?? It looks like it's been washed a few times.

 

[perseverance]

1. I hope you fall under a train.
2. You're fat, you're ugly and you have no eye brows and not only that you're a c*nt.
3. You have a fat back (it was a compliment, but she took it the wrong way).

 

[Chamber36]

1. I hope you fall under a train.
2. You're fat, you're ugly and you have no eye brows and not only that you're a c*nt.
3. You have a fat back (it was a compliment, but she took it the wrong way).

LMAO @ #3 :crackup:

 

[Strelok]

1)Don't jump that high otherwise the earth will change orbit.
To a fat 8yrs old girl jumping in my garden while mom was at phone

2)Why you keep opening indiana jones ark?
To my gf after she spread some vegetable cream on her face

3)You can buy all the shoes you want your feets still look like my dogs ones
To my gf's friend bragging about her shoes while I was eating at my birthday

4)Are we at the train station?
To a woman who forgot to rise the hand brake while parking making lot of noise

 

[Bible_Belt]

Your mom's kinda hot. Is she single?

 

[5string]

Yer a$$ is so fat, there are other fat a$$es orbiting around it!

 

[Masculinity]

I said all of them with a straight face and then laughed

1. I like your shirt; it's amazing how well it hides your belly.
2. I'm majoring in pimping.
3. Are you pregnant?
4. That outfit is cool; it's amazing what a selection they have at the salvation army nowadays, huh?
5. You're adorable, it is too bad you aren't my type (for some reason they chase when your friend-zone them).
6. I like your hair, imagine how good it would look if you washed it.
7. Your legs are so squishy, they're like pillows.

 

[PapiChulo]

1. Me to three chicks:

-I wanna see some titties when I come back!- (only one was willing to)

2. Asked for a threesome - mom and daughter.

3. Asked a woman if she was a tranny.

4. Told a cute girl to feed me more booze if she hopes to ever lay me. (didnt work)

 

[Chamber36]

I said all of them with a straight face and then laughed

1. I like your shirt; it's amazing how well it hides your belly.
2. I'm majoring in pimping.
3. Are you pregnant?
4. That outfit is cool; it's amazing what a selection they have at the salvation army nowadays, huh?
5. You're adorable, it is too bad you aren't my type (for some reason they chase when your friend-zone them).
6. I like your hair, imagine how good it would look if you washed it.
7. Your legs are so squishy, they're like pillows.

Very funny, but it's either you say it with a straight face or not. I said all my first ones with a straight face.

I'd like to add a few compliments I spewed out aswell:

6. I hope you don't mind, but you have the most beautiful breasts I've seen in MONTHS.
7. My brother used to be in love with you. And I understand why. I didn't used to really know, but now that I'm 21, I can really "appreciate". (then I looked at her from head to toe, and she walked off to some guy.)

This one I didn't say with a straight face:

8. We don't immediately have to jump into a relationship, but we could just fvck!

 

[Mr. Suave]

Is this meant to be insults?

If so, I remember once back in school, this girl with bad acne got made to clean all the tables in my art class. Someone said to her "hey you missed a spot" and I said "yeah looks like she missed quite a few spots".

I made a really funny fat joke about a girl in my first year of high school too... I forgot what I said now but my mate brought it up a few weeks ago.

 

[Sir Psycho Sexy]

You stupid fvcking b1tch dont touch me. To a girl at a bar who had pissed me off and wouldnt leave.

She later told my friend she understands why girls are attracted to me. Just goes to show how a$$holes get females.

 

[Alex DeLarge]

Some UG at a bar bought me a drink and showed me her tits.. I just replied with "That's disgusting" and walked past her.

Thanks for the free drink wh0re!

 

[CuriousGirl]

Once, I hit my sister on the head with a teapot (..she dropped a toaster on my face because I threw my netball at her face because she woke me up at 6am by accidentally throwing my netball at my face).
We've never fought like that before or since.

I tend not to say mean things to people, unless it's the appropriate humour, but I did once say to a guy who was really pushing his luck "No, 1 in 10 people have chlamydia and you look like one of them."

 

[perseverance]

I hope you don't live in London.

 

[Chamber36]

I'm talking about comments IN THE FIELD, guys! In the field!!

preferably no comments on UG's either!

Edit: I guess your girlfriends count too.

 

[Mike32ct]

A chick rolled her eyes at me.

Mike: That's ok hon. In ten years, you'll be really nice to me.

Lately, I use the following:

"You make me want to turn gay."

 

[Sparky]

2. You're fat, you're ugly and you have no eye brows and not only that you're a c*nt.

:rockon:

 

[IamJosan]

I once told a girl she was fake.

 

[thewickedm]

i once told a girl i loved her.