Most bizarre situation I have ever been in (or heard of)

[coin]

Ok, here is the story:

Theres a girl I know from class (Amy), she is a petite brunette HB8, light contact throughout the semester, I ask her out to a school event and she says yes. Date goes really well, then we go to the event but we don't hang out much there. (this could be a sign of low IL but I heard from a couple friends that she said she had a great time with me and she sent me an e-mail the next day)

At the event a guy from school comes up to me asks me if I like Amy and whether I am dating her, I say yes I like her, and no I am not dating her. And then (he is pretty drunk) he tells me that he is in love with her and rambles on about that for a while, and then tells me a girl should never come between two men that are friends. He is friend of mine but I lost a lot of respect for him that night. He goes on and sez some crap about how he will back off if I want him to, I say 'man wutever i don't care' and tell him he can go after her if he wants, it makes no difference to me. I don't think he has a lot of DJ skills...so I am not worried at all.

Later that night Amy and I are walking out to her car (she is going to go home, and i'm going out with some of my crew), and this guy starts following us to her car. no k-close. She hugs us both goodbye and thanks me for the great night she had (even though we did not spend much time together after we got to the event).

Me and the guy walk back from the parking lot, and he starts talking about some stupid sh*t about Amy, and how he likes her, and I ask him if he has ever heard of c0ckblocking. He spends the rest of the night saying sorry to me and how he feels really bad. after the first apology i told him, dont worry about it man, its over but he keeps going on and on.

so, WTF do you guys make of this??? What should i do about this guy if anything?

Group of us went for lunch the other day, and I sat as far from Amy as i could and the guy sat next to her. Hes always trying to talk to her and i keep my cool and stay away unless i have something to say to her.

Not sure about AMY's IL, but i asked her out again for Monday and she said yes.

Also we are both leaving to go home for christmas, I am not going to see her for almost a month. if the date on monday works out should I call her over the holidays at all? (this is not my main question... i could call or not call, i don't care. Mostly what to do about this guy, and if any of you have ever dealt with this kind of situation.)

 

[AFK Protector]

I'm just bumping this for you, but I gotta say this is a very peculiar situation. I didn't think someone would just COME OUT and say it, esp on a date.

Anyhow, just keep doing what you've been doing and act like what he said never happened. Don't do that "bros before hos" idealogy here because apparently, he really isn't a bro jumping in on your date like that, and plus the bros before hos only applies if YOU were in HIS situation trying to bag someone else's chick.

So, just keep doing whatever you've been doing and if he gets too close tell him to back off. Don't even give him the idea he can move in. If you've lost your interest in her tell him she's all his, even though he's AFC to the ****ing max here.

 

[coin]

he didn't say it to her tho, all that stuff about how he loves her.. he told ME that.

That nite i told him competition is good and he can try to make a move on her if he wants. i really am not threatened by him at all (i thought he his kind of pathetic actually, after he told me that... like he is always talking to us guys about how he fcks women and stuff, i am beginning to think he is all talk and no action)

anyway, thx for the tip AFK i will not say anything about this chick to him anymore. i think he actually feels threatened by me and told me that in the hopes that i would back off.

not happening, i am not going to pass up HB8 even though i am not sure about her IL. (could be low, could be high - have gotten both signs. but she is not disrespectful or flaky in anyway, and actually neither is the guy.. he is always friendly to me and doesnt say anything to piss me off.)

 

[Julian]

Dude if you know your not gonna bang her on Monday, then dont even bother.

Personally i think an "event date" is ridiculously stupid. The fact that she totally ditched you the entire time confirms my opinion, however that matter is of minimal relevance, could be low IL like you said... but her accepting another date with you says its the opposite, but she could always flake so its up in the air.

Whats important is the way you handled yourself, which was quite well if i may say so. Dont worry about this sabotaging AFC, he is digging his own grave with his foolish actions. Just keep cool, wish her a happy holiday and then just leave and enjoy the month.

When you get back, try and pick up on her again... maybe revitalize some kind of energy wit her. Remember, ISOLATE her. Then have your way with her.

 

[AFK Protector]

Originally posted by coin
he didn't say it to her tho, all that stuff about how he loves her.. he told ME that.

That nite i told him competition is good and he can try to make a move on her if he wants. i really am not threatened by him at all (i thought he his kind of pathetic actually, after he told me that... like he is always talking to us guys about how he fcks women and stuff, i am beginning to think he is all talk and no action)

anyway, thx for the tip AFK i will not say anything about this chick to him anymore. i think he actually feels threatened by me and told me that in the hopes that i would back off.

not happening, i am not going to pass up HB8 even though i am not sure about her IL. (could be low, could be high - have gotten both signs. but she is not disrespectful or flaky in anyway, and actually neither is the guy.. he is always friendly to me and doesnt say anything to piss me off.)

I perfectly understood how he went AFC on you and not in front of the girl. That's all the better because you've really got nothing to watch out for like you said. Also, good call on not passing up this HB8 and not backing off when he kinda hinted it to you lol "guys shuoldn't let girls get between them you know"

Man what a *****!! As Julian said, you handled yourself well keeping your cool not flinching when she hugged the AFC. His heart probably melted when that happened. Anyhow, just keep your jive and go with Julian's parting advice. Damn did I jsut say "jive?"

 

[A&F Brand Cologne]

Amy knows how he feels. I've been in a similar situation, and the girl we were chasing (I gave him the go ahead, I wasn't worried) referred to the other guy as her stalker and actively pulled me away from him whenever he would show up to chat with us.

just go with the flow. get with her if you can and don't let this guy become a nuisance.

 

[coin]

Originally posted by AFK Protector
Man what a *****!! As Julian said, you handled yourself well keeping your cool not flinching when she hugged the AFC. His heart probably melted when that happened. Anyhow, just keep your jive and go with Julian's parting advice. Damn did I jsut say "jive?"

heh, it's probably the other way around - we were walking arm in arm back to her car and he was following behind us. that probably made him feel like sht. i think he wanted to make sure i didnt get too freaky with her.

anyway, i saw him again today. we are going out with some of the guys on monday night... he said he wanted to get together earlier, but i said i couldn't because i was busy. he asked what i had to do and i just said i had made plans already.

btw, another sign that her IL might be high... she is flying out on Monday but she still agreed to go out with me in the afternoon after our humanities final (ends at noon, she needs to be at the airport by 6). if it were me i wouldn't have agreed to go out when i had a plane to catch later in the day, but maybe that's just me and she is really good at managing her time.

 

[coin]

Originally posted by A&F Brand Cologne
Amy knows how he feels. I've been in a similar situation, and the girl we were chasing (I gave him the go ahead, I wasn't worried) referred to the other guy as her stalker and actively pulled me away from him whenever he would show up to chat with us.

just go with the flow. get with her if you can and don't let this guy become a nuisance.

A&F that is reassuring, but the guy is kind of strange to begin with, imo at least, so she might just chalk it up to his weirdness.

 

[coin]

Think she flaked

Julian you were right - i think she is flaking, so the AFC guy doesnt matter anyway.

Here's the email (the test ends at 12):

"
Hey there! So I’ve been thinking about tomorrow, and I’m worried that I’m going to be a little crunched for time if I go to to town. It will probably take me an hour or more at the store (major shopping to do for family) and I need to leave my house by 5:45 to get to the airport by 6:15. Which means I need to be home by 4:00 or 4:15 to pack everything (including my cat and all his stuff) to make it on time. Which only leaves about 2 hours in town. I’d hate to rush you, so it might be better if I stayed home. I’m going to try and get some stuff done tonight, so I’ll let you know for sure tomorrow after the test. Just wanted to give you a heads up that I may need to cancel. So sorry!


Hope studying is going well!! Talk to you tomorrow.

Amy

 

[Bonhomme]

Concerned about the wrong things

Looks like she just doesn't have time, coin. Remember, you wrote in your earlier post she would have to be very good at managing her time to pull it off. Think of it this way: she wanted to go out of her way to work you in her schedule. Not only that, she alerted you to the possibility of cancellation in a classy way, as soon as it occurred to her. No worries.

Like the others said, don't worry about the other guy. If anything, he's driving her away from himself. Nothing to add to their advice.

And the only thing you may need to do is up the ante sexually a bit. And definitely isolate her, away from the usual crowd. It's not apparent that you've demonstrated much sexual interest at all, and that coould demote you to the friendzone. Only you know how much sexual tension is there, but sexual tension is what you need to have.

If you haven't been doing so, work her personal space a bit. Give her good eye contact. The occasional light touches on the arm or shoulder, a bit of "incidental" leg touching when you're sitting next to or across a table from her. Work up the sexual tension without making any abrupt, out of sequence moves.