"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

More info from an older DJ

WestCoaster

Master Don Juan
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This quote from a 17-year old on the DJ site bounced me back to this board:

* Love is a lie made up by feminists.*

Let me say that if any of you have this attitude in life you will be miserable, full of multiple divorces, anger, and people will hate you.

Love is the greatest feeling of all and true DJ's enjoy it and seek it.

DJism is not about hating women. Learn this and live it, please. About 90 percent of the people on these boards do not understand this.

DJism is about developing your own life, being confident in your abilities, reaching out to help others and being kind to people. It's about developing your own hobbies, interests and passions. It's about building a career that you enjoy. And most importantly, it's about not letting rejections and disappointment -- whether it's from women, not getting a job or what you want -- setting you back and ruining your life.

When a woman turns you down, you smile, say something witty perhaps, and walk away proud that you had the guts to ask her out. The only guys losing are the ones who are not trying, and I've been there in not trying and being angry at rejection. I learned DJism.

Women are to compliment and supplement your life, not be your life.

But please, please, do NOT believe that above quote from an ignorant 17-year old from the main board. Living by that theory will bring you darkness and unhappiness.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Microphone Fiend

Master Don Juan
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I agree that Dj'ism is not about hating women, but the accusation that about 90% of the people here are misogynistic is outlandish and exaggerated. Perhaps some of the newbies are a little miseducated but time will balance that out. The select few remaining that dislike women are those who have yet to apply themselves, or those who have succumb to the downward spiral that their lives have shown so far. In the current SoSuave we are educated to think about self improvement, respect (and all that good stuff) How can you possibly become the best if your insecurity holds you back? I think that most guys who dislike women have been burned badly by a previous encounter so they generalise all their relation so as to stay secure in their insecurity. They just need to learn to forgive what has happened in the past even if they don't forget
 

Cloud-uk

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I agree that Dj'ism is not about hating women, but the accusation that about 90% of the people here are misogynistic is outlandish and exaggerated.
I agree, surely it's not that bad.

WestCoaster, That's just the views of one 17 year old. I think he'll find "love" has been around a lot longer than feminists. Besides, how do you invent a feeling? Regardless, I just wanted to make the point to newbees that YOU WON'T FALL IN LOVE IN HIGHSCHOOL. ***** at me all you like, it's healthier to agree with me on this one.

So many guys come here infatuated with girls you have to talk pretty bad about them to knock them off their pedistals. Sure, when you're older and wiser you'll fall in love. Hopefully it'll work out beautiful. I do not advocate hating girls, that's a pathetic standpoint. They're our equals. Nothing more, nothing less.

I wouldn't worry about a group of hardened women haters developing "older DJ", worry about a generation of driven, smart, able, and ****ing good looking young guys getting your girls:D ;) .
 

WestCoaster

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OK, my stats are off

But I would say about 90 percent of the people on this site misinterpret DJism. It's not about neg-hits, or "next" or techniques ... those were spawned from people on this board (I've been on this board awhile) and not from Allen Thompson or the originators of this site.

Most people, young, old, in-between, do not read the valuable articles from the main page. My favorite, "Kiss of Death," says it all. You can find it either in the Hall of Fame or Articles. It's DJism in a nutshell, written by Allen Thompson. It's much better than anything on the message board. Also read the infatuation piece by Dana Peach.

Totally agree you can't fall in love in high school. You're not developed enough -- honestly, you're not. New neurological studies show the teenage brain does not have a fully developed full frontal cortex, which help with emotional states. Looking back, I can see why I was such a nut-job in high school.

Yes, people get burned by women and are reacting on this site. I'm still getting burned off and on, but this site has helped me learn to walk away with my head held high. Getting burned by women is a fact of life and if you never get burned by women that's not a good thing, that's a bad thing because you've lived too sheltered a life.

You're right, 90 percent are not mysoginists here; but 90 percent have completely misinterpreted DJism. I stand by that.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

Cloud-uk

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I'm sure you have a point, though I would never say it was quite that much of an epidemic.

Check out my post Summer games, screw the girls WestCoaster, I've been meaning to do a "skills and self" course for those with balls for a while. Lets see if we can't make 90% a far rounder 0%:) .
 

JSH

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You dont have to believe in love though, i believe in its equivalent, lust. I think love is a term introduce to denote higher nobler longer lasting forms of lust and has taken on a parallel meaning of deep seated respect. As such I will love, but it will purely be a form of lust/respect.
 
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