"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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More approaches to critique

hoopinc10

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I went out again last night ready to try some more appraches in a club. Let me know hat you think i did well, not well. and how i can improve.

Here's how the one of the interactions with females I had went.

So, first of all as i'm walkin through the club I'm remembering from this site that if you ever make eye contact with someone, to smile because it's inviting, so I've done this to 2 or 3 females. Then as I'm aapproaching the bar, one of the females approaches me.

her: do I know you?
me: I dunno, do I know you?
her: did you go to ****** (my school)
me: yea, I still go there. did you?
her: yea, I graduated in may 2009. I just was lookin at you cuz you looked familiar and I thought u was lookin at me cuz you thought the same
me: (lying) yea i thought you looked familiar, I wasn't sure though.
her: yea, well its good seeing you, have a good night!

there I was a little thrown off. I thought this was in the bag cuz she approached me, but she ended the convo before I could continue it.
Later I saw her on the dance floor and approached:

me: I never got to dance with you at ****** (my school)
her: (she smirks and starts dancin)
after the dance
me: I never caught ur name
her: keona
me: o ok, I'm chris
her: chris? do you have another name?
me: (confused and wondering wheter I should bring up my facebook nickname) uhhh....christopher?
her: oh ok....i thoght you had another name
me: y would you think that?
her: I dunno.
me: so wat u doin now that you've graduated?
her: tryin to find a job, i work at a bank now, but yea its hard tryin to find a job.
me: yea I kno, that y i'm a little worried bout graduating, because finding a job is so hard.
her: yea (then she starts dancin to the song that come on)
me: i see you like this song, u tryna dance again?
her: yea, not to this song tho...blah, blah, blah....on another song. I'll find you!
me: aight find me!

bout an hour goes by, I'm gettin ready to leave so i apprach her one last time on the dance floor

me: you never found me...
her: (starts dancin with me again)
after dancing
me: Look, I'm bout to go, put you number in my phonse so we can hang out again after this
her: just look me up on facebook
me: I'm not talking about facebook, I'm talking about you putting your number in my phone.
her: my phone broke. If i gave you my number it would be pointless.
me: aight whats your name again?
her: keona
me: keona what?
her: keona ******
me: aight then (hug close)

so what you all think?? good? bad? what can I do better?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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macallik

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from my experiences, if a chick tells you she is gonna give you her facebook when you ask for her phone number, she either isn't that interested or her reason is correct.

If a girl says she is gonna find you and time is running out on the night, put your casually in her line of vision. If she does not approach your or attempt to make eye contact after a while, she was not serious about coming to find you.

As for your approach, it was nothing worthwhile. You just found out you went to the same school. No C&F, no talking about her about anything, nothing. It sounds like you aren't out there meeting a lot of women and so when this woman approached you, you started badgering her a bit.

The end was a little aggressive and you might be looking at a flake later on. I would advise more rapport before you proceed for a date.

Good luck man
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

hoopinc10

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what kind of rapport could I have added. thats where I struggle. figuring out ways to make her laugh in the conversation.
 

Tom Stall

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from your post, you talked about nothing interesting

there was nothing there of interest it was just small talk, general chit chat, for aquaitensise and awkward conversations only

i actually have a similiar problem, but i recognise my problem so i don't talk about these mundane things, what i do is play at my strength, which is exuding sexuality and dance floor grinding

so i always quickly take a girl to the dance floor, where we dont have to talk, dance, grind, kiss, whatever

thats my strength, you should play to your strenghts too because conversation doesnt seem to be it (hope this didn't sound harsh)
 

Igetit!

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Tom Stall said:
from your post, you talked about nothing interesting

there was nothing there of interest it was just small talk, general chit chat, for aquaitensise and awkward conversations only

BINGO.


This conversation was DULL,freaking' DULL to the fifth power.


I believe that "I'll find you later" line was an attempt to just get away from you,I doubt she had any intentions of finding you again.



Plus,you showed some neediness. You ran and tracked her down 2 times after she walked away,and when she didn't comefind you like she said she would you went,"Hey,you never came found me".



To me,the best part of you attempting to "game her" was simply you trying.


Other than that...not too well.

You need to understand that women are EMOTIONAL.



You need to stir up their feelings/emotions. Do something dude. Make her angry if you have to,whatever,just make her feel something.

And I'm NOT KIDDING about the making her angry thing either.



Your convo is boring. You need to put a spark,some "zing" into your "game".


She took care of the hard part by walking over and approaching you.


You could have took some of what she was saying to you and twisted it into flirting/teasing.



Like when she asked you if you went to that school you mentioned.


Instead of saying yes,you could have hit her up with something like...

"Did I go to (name of school)? You trying to hit on me? What kind of line is that? Don't tell me that's the best you can do."



Then she would have either said no,that she wasn't trying to hit on you,or she just would have went along with what you were saying.




Either way,the thought of something sexual WITH YOU would have been implanted in her mind.




You would have sparked an "interest" ,(a sexual interest) on her part towards you,plus you would have had the school thing as comfort,as something you two have in common.



Stop being so bland with girls and say things to get them emotional.
 

horaholic

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Plus,you showed some neediness. You ran and tracked her down 2 times after she walked away,and when she didn't come find you like she said she would you went,"Hey,you never came found me".
Yes and no. Theres a difference between neediness and persistance. You cant be afraid to give a couple or few tries. sometimes you can turn them around by re-engaging.

Instead of saying "Hey, you never came and found me," you should have said something more fun. Either act like it didnt bother you that she didnt come find you, or go the opposite, and put on some show like your totally heartbroken. That line does have a hint of neediness in it.

Definitely need to spice up your convo. Make her laugh, tease her. You hadnt seen her in a long time, right? You could have said "Damn, You're nowhere near as fat as I thought you'd be by now." Blatantly joking of course, and only if she is not fat at all. Throw some ****iness at her. Stir her emotions next time.
 

hoopinc10

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thanks guys for the advice....i totally agree that my coversations are bland! I'm thinking its because I'm trying to hard to figure out what to say, and just need to really listen more and and work on being more comfortable in these situations. If i become more comfortable, I think I could more easily think of these witty/c+f things to say.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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