Moral Question

Fruitbat

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My sister never earned much money but also never stuck at a job very long and always went for jobs she enjoyed rather than the corporate slavery I’ve had.

She’s consequently not got enough for a house deposit. She’s had a lucky windfall of some money but thinks she needs another £15000 to get over the line.

she’s already had FAR more off my parents which was directly out of the property we will inherent. So it’s kind of from me indirectly.

she has got enough for a small flat. But she wants a forever house.

some points around this:

- I sat down with her about 7 years ago and looked at her finances and explained the tax breaks to savers . I suggested that she forego annual holidays and sky subscription and eat out less (I had to do all of this to get a deposit) She’s done none of it. she even said once with scorn “all of your ideas are just saving into an account”. Yes, that’s what I did. That kind of pissed me off.

- I’ve suggested that she just gets a smaller place in a poor area first and the trade up. She doesn’t seem keen.

She knows I have equity in my house and I do, but I have a family to support and I am not prepared to start taking on large loans against it.

she’s older than me and we see each other infrequently. It’s not like we are that close


tell me that I’m not being an a$$hole. If she came to me and said “we’ve saved £7k can you add £7k” I might consider it.

Knowing my sister, I have doubts she would fully repay it. Yet I’m caught feeling guilty.
 

Stuffnu

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I’m assuming she‘s a younger sibling.
Being the eldest myself, I will always provide advice based on my own experiences when it comes to finances. Good and bad.
That’s your contribution….
 

Murk

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Don’t do it. YNTA. People need to learn to sacrifice and future plan, she seems spoiled. You have a family yourself, how dare she even ask after the handouts thus far. You can lead a horse to water…
 

Fruitbat

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I’m assuming she‘s a younger sibling.
Being the eldest myself, I will always provide advice based on my own experiences when it comes to finances. Good and bad.
That’s your contribution….
older - 6 years
 

kavi

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Small house seems good. She dont need a forever house. the flat should suffice.
 

FlirtLife

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- I sat down with her about 7 years ago and looked at her finances and explained the tax breaks to savers . I suggested that she forego annual holidays and sky subscription and eat out less (I had to do all of this to get a deposit) She’s done none of it. she even said once with scorn “all of your ideas are just saving into an account”. Yes, that’s what I did. That kind of pissed me off.

- I’ve suggested that she just gets a smaller place in a poor area first and the trade up. She doesn’t seem keen.
Apparently she could care less about taking responsibility, so tough love seems the right choice until she gets it. If you want to rescue her every few years, know you're signing up for a lifetime of that.

In your situation, I'd tell your older sister "Suze Orman says you cannot afford it!"
 
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