"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Read more...

Moody girls?

Nikar

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 24, 2005
Messages
112
Reaction score
4
Hi,

There's this chick who usually goes home with me everyday but once in a while, while we're walking together, she seems to be really moody and low-energy, if you know what I mean.

On normal days, when we're walking back home, she'll be like quite excited and all, and usually is the one who initiates convo and is responsive to my C+F.

However, once in a while, like today, she walks slowly and when I'm ahead of her, she doesn't seem to care and just continue her slow pace.

Seeing her behaving this way, I left her alone and continued to walk my pace while she's behind. Then, at the end of the road, I stopped, looked at her and just waved bye to her.
Her reaction? She doesn't smile (eyes are not active etc.) and just wave bye solemnly.

To be honest, I have a little, little mild feeling that she's trying to avoid me....or am I over-analyzing? Maybe I said something earlier that offended her?

Btw, I still have some AFC-ness in me.
In the past, I would have lost sleep over things like this, but it's not hitting me as hard now.

Next week, if she still behaves like this, I'm thinking of using some C+F to fix her. My plan for next week:

Me: So, why do you look so gloomy and downcast?

Her: Nothing...

Me: Is it because I kissed your boyfriend last week and it's affecting you badly?

Her: (I expect her to giggle or at least have some response)

Mainly, what I want to know if you guys have experience this sortta thing before?

Pls advise! :)
Nikar
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

ARrocket

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 6, 2008
Messages
1,411
Reaction score
37
Location
East Coast USA
Be careful...it can be easy to become friend zoned if you're around her so much when she's sad....especially if you try to cheer her up.

And I'm not so sure about the line about you kissing her bf either. And does that mean that this girl has a bf?

I'd just keep trying to be funny and light-hearted...use some C&F, and if she doesn't respond, stay away until she's feeling better!
 

decades

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 3, 2004
Messages
1,223
Reaction score
35
Location
sf ca
don't try to cheer her up. that is a subtle form of rescuing believe it or not. focus on yourself and if she can't have fun and be happy with you, it isn't going to work. she is slowly drawing you in as a caretaker and that's going to be trouble down the road man. :eek:
 

Nikar

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 24, 2005
Messages
112
Reaction score
4
Wow, thanks a lot, guys! Yeah, this chick has a bf, but at times, I'm not sure if it's the bf giving her problems. Or maybe its work. Or me!

Also, yeah, I read in the DJ bible that we shouldn't show too much concern for the chick in such cases, but umm....won't it be kinda heartless?

I know it's AFC to console a girl and being her listening ear (will end up being Friend-Zoned), but it's kinda weird if someone has problems and you don't give a darn! :D

I must say, so far, I've been teasing her and C+F-ing her when I can.
It's like:

normal convo (serious topics etc) = 75%
teasing / flirting / C+F = 25%

So, I should just ignore her totally and wait till she resolves the problem herself?

Thanks again! :)
Nikar
 

decades

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 3, 2004
Messages
1,223
Reaction score
35
Location
sf ca
don't ignore but don't FEED her either. Just listen then change the subject. If this chick already has a bf and you are already in the FZ, then you should start spending less time being her girlfriend and more time "gaming" her or gaming other chicks. her problems are her own and she can deal with them. If she is down, then it's usually not a good time to hang out with her. Be less available and she will get the message that she has to bring something to the table for you too. :D
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

Nikar

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 24, 2005
Messages
112
Reaction score
4
Thanks bros........it's only yesterday and today that I started realizing how big the world is and how many hot chicks are there in this world. :D
 
Top