Moods.

[LinkinParkROX]

So I've been looking back a lot lately at most of the girls I knew and still know. The girl I'm sort of interested in right now, is moody. She gets annoyed/sad for some reason most of the time, and though I practice DJ technique every time I can, I just somehow lose all of it when she (and other girls) are in a bad mood, or are just sad or pissed off. Not specifically "lose", but I just go like => . I have no idea what to do, and just forget how to act/be. I end up trying to cheer her up by being C&F, but that ends up annoying her more. I try to be nice, but she says "I don't want to talk about it. " and continues going along, being sad/pissed off/annoyed. Help, please?

 

[Igetit!]

So I've been looking back a lot lately at most of the girls I knew and still know. The girl I'm sort of interested in right now, is moody. She gets annoyed/sad for some reason most of the time, and though I practice DJ technique every time I can, I just somehow lose all of it when she (and other girls) are in a bad mood, or are just sad or pissed off. Not specifically "lose", but I just go like => . I have no idea what to do, and just forget how to act/be. I end up trying to cheer her up by being C&F, but that ends up annoying her more. I try to be nice, but she says "I don't want to talk about it. " and continues going along, being sad/pissed off/annoyed. Help, please?

You have a weak frame. If you get together with a girl and you two hang out,one of you is going to follow the other. If something exciting happened to her,such as getting a new car,and something exciting happened to you like getting your first job,then which ever one of these thing you two talk about the most will determine who leads. If you mention your new job,then she says,"that's good",then she immediately starts talking about her new car,and you spend the next hour or two talking about it,then she has the stronger frame. If on the other hand,she mentions her car,you say,"That's cool",then you change the subject over to your new job and spend the next 45 minutes discussing your job,then your frame is stronger.

If you two get together and she pulls you over into her bad mood instead of you pulling her over into whatever's happening in your life,then your frame is weak. The trick is to acknowledge whatever she's talking or complaining about,then pull her over into something positive.

I'll give you an example of how to do that:

her:Man,I feel bad. When I got home yesterday...(blah,blah,blah).
you: Yeah,I understand what your saying, That does suck. Hey,that reminds me of something. Have you ever...

Then just go off in another direction. Start talking about something else,something emotionally based. Talk about how happy you felt when this or that happened to you,and really be happy while you're speaking to her.
Your inbeat,uplifting mood will draw her out of her negative one.

BUT REMEMBER...
You have to ackowledge her feelings/whatever it was she was talking about FIRST. If you don't,she'll get angry and accuse you of not listening to her.

Give that a try.

 

[LinkinParkROX]

Thanks, seems like it could work. Sometimes though, she won't go like "Man,I feel bad. When I got home yesterday...(blah,blah,blah)" from your example. What she does instead, is "I don't want to talk about it. " and just shuts me out totally. Any ideas?

 

[Igetit!]

What she does instead, is "I don't want to talk about it. " and just shuts me out totally. Any ideas?

If she's in a bad mood,you ask her what's wrong,then she says that she doesn't want to talk about it,she's probably lying. ALL WOMEN want to talk about their feelings,whether they're positive or negative.

The most important phrase to remember when dealing with a woman and her feeling is,"I understand". DON'T TRY TO FIX HER PROBLEMS.

She doesn't want you to offer her a solution or try to fix things,she just wants you to understand WHY she feels the way she does.
That's it,that's all she wants.

If she says she doesn't want to talk about something,then you should respond with something like,"Hey,that's cool. I understand.

Then drop the subject and talk about something else...but I can almost guarantee you if she pulls the "I don't want to talk about" line,then you response with "I understand" then start to talk about something else,she'll go right back to talking about whatever it was she previuosly said she didn't want to discuss.

Nevertheless,what I said in my previous post still stands.

It's dangerous to talk about emotions with women,especially if you're not already dating her,and the emotions are negative.

In fact,it's better to not be around her,than to spend time with her talking about emotions and feelings.You have an EXTREMELY HIGH chance of falling into the friendzone by doing this.

If you like this girl and want to date her,at ALL COST avoid talking about whatever it was she told you she didn't want to discuss.

Just have the stronger frame,then you won't have to worry about that.

 

[needstochange]

Thanks Igetit! (even though I wasn't the OP, this helped me alot as well).