"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Mood controlled by sex drive.

joeEtata

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I'm at a loss of what to think. My mood is controlled by my curiosity to have sex. If I have it under control, I'm ok...if I don't...let's put it this way...I'm getting into fights with AWs on pof or okcupid or begging them for a chance or cussing them out.

The funny thing is, in person, I'm not even that horny. I am, but not to the degree I am at home.

I took up new hobbies...started exercising and lifting and love it...not doing it for women...doing it for myself...I especially love the burn...but it doesn't help.

My mind is obsessed with the idea of sex...and losing the V card to a decent looking woman. Doesn't have to be "my 10" doesn't have to be perfect, don't have to be in love...just a woman I'd admit to sleeping with, be seen with in public if it got to that point, wouldn't regret right after I dropped my load in her, and so on.

I have dreams that would make Ron Jeremy jealous...naked pool parties with tons of pretty women and myself...banging girls in the shower...threesomes with celebrities...dreams where I walk around in a fictional world of naked women and I grope them (the funny thing is even in my dreams I ask them before I do it)...one dream where a topless blonde was running a lemonade stand and I said "can I get a squeeze?"

And I masturbate at least 2-3 times a week, so it's not like I'm holding out.

I'm just a loss of how to lose the V card to a decent looking woman. When I do manage to get a date or date a good looking woman, she always invariably just got out of an abusive relationship and doesn't trust men physically anyway...and I get impatient and leave.

My doctor wants to put me on an OCD medicine...but to me that's just covering up the problem...it's not going to change the fact that I'm a curious virgin.

I'm just so frustrated and willing to take any advice unless it involves going to bars or clubs...I've been to them and wouldn't succeed there and don't even usually find the kind of women I find attractive there anyway.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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OnTheWayUp

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joeEtata said:
I'm just a loss of how to lose the V card to a decent looking woman. When I do manage to get a date or date a good looking woman, she always invariably just got out of an abusive relationship and doesn't trust men physically anyway...and I get impatient and leave.
Mate, you sound just like me about 6 months ago. I lost my v card on Thursday evening to a 7/8 in a club. Don't despair, it can be done!!

How did I do it? Sheer perseverance. Yes, if you check my threads on here there are times when I was very close to giving up. But I stuck with it. You sound a lot like me... lots of hobbies, enjoy going to the gym and doing things YOU enjoy for yourself rather than girls. It will happen, trust me.

joeEtata said:
willing to take any advice unless it involves going to bars or clubs...I've been to them and wouldn't succeed there and don't even usually find the kind of women I find attractive there anyway
I don't think this attitude will help you in the long run- it's very self-defeatist. In my experience, if you don't think you'll be able to pull in a given location and you go out with that mind set, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Keep doing what you're doing. Go out regularly with the intention of having fun, not of pulling a girl. Keep up the hobbies and the weights. Do your best to relax around HBs and not constantly obsess over pulling them. Easier said than done, but you'll get there. Best of luck man.
 

joeEtata

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Thanks for the kind words man. The reason I'm not so high on bars and clubs is because I've been to many of them and they weren't for me. My thought on bars and clubs is that if you're going there anyway...to drink...out with friends...etc...that's one thing...but if it's not your scene and you're just going there hoping to find an easy hottie...it doesn't work that way...especially since people can sense it's not your scene.

I was on vacation last year at this fancy hotel/bar where they had a jazz lounge with a cool band/laid back atmosphere...but it mostly a couples resort.
I remember thinking if there were someplace like that locally I'd go there...because I'd enjoy the scene/atmosphere/music anyway and might meet a woman that I'd actually want to sleep with...a classy hottie or milf. Just don't know of any where I live.
 
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