"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Mood controlled by sex drive.

joeEtata

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I'm at a loss of what to think. My mood is controlled by my curiosity to have sex. If I have it under control, I'm ok...if I don't...let's put it this way...I'm getting into fights with AWs on pof or okcupid or begging them for a chance or cussing them out.

The funny thing is, in person, I'm not even that horny. I am, but not to the degree I am at home.

I took up new hobbies...started exercising and lifting and love it...not doing it for women...doing it for myself...I especially love the burn...but it doesn't help.

My mind is obsessed with the idea of sex...and losing the V card to a decent looking woman. Doesn't have to be "my 10" doesn't have to be perfect, don't have to be in love...just a woman I'd admit to sleeping with, be seen with in public if it got to that point, wouldn't regret right after I dropped my load in her, and so on.

I have dreams that would make Ron Jeremy jealous...naked pool parties with tons of pretty women and myself...banging girls in the shower...threesomes with celebrities...dreams where I walk around in a fictional world of naked women and I grope them (the funny thing is even in my dreams I ask them before I do it)...one dream where a topless blonde was running a lemonade stand and I said "can I get a squeeze?"

And I masturbate at least 2-3 times a week, so it's not like I'm holding out.

I'm just a loss of how to lose the V card to a decent looking woman. When I do manage to get a date or date a good looking woman, she always invariably just got out of an abusive relationship and doesn't trust men physically anyway...and I get impatient and leave.

My doctor wants to put me on an OCD medicine...but to me that's just covering up the problem...it's not going to change the fact that I'm a curious virgin.

I'm just so frustrated and willing to take any advice unless it involves going to bars or clubs...I've been to them and wouldn't succeed there and don't even usually find the kind of women I find attractive there anyway.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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OnTheWayUp

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joeEtata said:
I'm just a loss of how to lose the V card to a decent looking woman. When I do manage to get a date or date a good looking woman, she always invariably just got out of an abusive relationship and doesn't trust men physically anyway...and I get impatient and leave.
Mate, you sound just like me about 6 months ago. I lost my v card on Thursday evening to a 7/8 in a club. Don't despair, it can be done!!

How did I do it? Sheer perseverance. Yes, if you check my threads on here there are times when I was very close to giving up. But I stuck with it. You sound a lot like me... lots of hobbies, enjoy going to the gym and doing things YOU enjoy for yourself rather than girls. It will happen, trust me.

joeEtata said:
willing to take any advice unless it involves going to bars or clubs...I've been to them and wouldn't succeed there and don't even usually find the kind of women I find attractive there anyway
I don't think this attitude will help you in the long run- it's very self-defeatist. In my experience, if you don't think you'll be able to pull in a given location and you go out with that mind set, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Keep doing what you're doing. Go out regularly with the intention of having fun, not of pulling a girl. Keep up the hobbies and the weights. Do your best to relax around HBs and not constantly obsess over pulling them. Easier said than done, but you'll get there. Best of luck man.
 

joeEtata

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Thanks for the kind words man. The reason I'm not so high on bars and clubs is because I've been to many of them and they weren't for me. My thought on bars and clubs is that if you're going there anyway...to drink...out with friends...etc...that's one thing...but if it's not your scene and you're just going there hoping to find an easy hottie...it doesn't work that way...especially since people can sense it's not your scene.

I was on vacation last year at this fancy hotel/bar where they had a jazz lounge with a cool band/laid back atmosphere...but it mostly a couples resort.
I remember thinking if there were someplace like that locally I'd go there...because I'd enjoy the scene/atmosphere/music anyway and might meet a woman that I'd actually want to sleep with...a classy hottie or milf. Just don't know of any where I live.
 
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