Money and Dating

[1-800-HellNo]

tl;dr: I don't like spending money on drinks/food, but know it's important to not seem "cheap." Not sure what to do when dating girls that like going out to fancy places.

I've been broke before, as in, starving. Most of my adult life has been on the edge of no money, to just enough money.
Right now I have a good job, and I'm really serious about it. I've been seeing this girl, and it's cool except I HATE spending a bunch of money at bars and stuff.

I don't buy her anything, except i'll pay for drinks here and there, and usually she pays for me.
I don't even see her as much as I could because I just don't want to spend any money. There are people who say to never spend money on a girl, but I feel like shlt when she pays, and i'm sure it makes me look bad (even though she keeps hitting me up).

I want to here some tips on how you approach spending money on girls.

I feel like right now if I suddenly just inherited millions of dollars, I would still feel bad spending money like that.

 

[popsickle]

I mean, there's a difference between not spending too much money on a girl, and not spending any money at all. In the initial stages of dating, I will usually pay for bars, restaurants and whatnot, just because it seems like the gentleman thing to do. You don't need to take her to fancy places necessarily, just cool places. The atmosphere counts much more. Don't get caught up with a daddy's little girl with high standards, my ex was like that and it was hell, both for me and my parents' bank account.
I see 2 cases though:
1. You wanna end up dating the girl. In that case, you will naturally find a long term equilibrium. I.e. She will start paying for things by herself, then just keep a certain balance

2. You're just **** buddies. In that case, I think there is a natural balance from the start. It's what I'm doing right now. We usually fvck then go for nice brunch the next morning. I picked up the bill the first time, she did the second, etc

 

[r0cky]

What does it matter if they like going to fancy places or not?
If you don't like going to fancy places and you're the one inviting them then its YOUR choice where to go. If the girl has enough interest to give you a chance she will go wherever you invite her. And if she doesn't like you, taking her to a place she MIGHT like is not going to increase your chances at all, maybe it might get her to like the place but she won't like YOU. If you dont have confidence in yourself those material things ain't going to help your cause.

 

[popsickle]

I didn't say it matters if they like going to fancy places or not. What I'm saying is I dislike uber spoilt girls who will only go for guys who can wine and dine them at the most expensive places. Not that I don't like those places, but I'm a student so I usually stay away from spoilt college brats.

 

[1-800-HellNo]

I don't know the area she lives in, so I let her pick the places. They aren't "fancy" like most of you would think, but to me they are.

I thought about this after making this thread and pretty much decided that I won't go out with her unless I can afford to drop some money on her. If she wants to pay for a round here and there, I won't stop her.