"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Modern Dating Research Paper

DJ Red

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Well, being a budding DJ, I've found that sometimes I've been overwhelmed by the amount of information that is available. It's difficult to sort out at times, especially when you don't have any structure.

Enter my English Class. I have to write a research paper with an open topic. After some consideration, I chose Modern Dating.

Thus, I formulated a list of questions my paper is to answer in 13-16 pages.

This is what I've come up with thus far:

Where is the best place to go meet people? Bars and clubs seem to be the most popular place to look for other single people, but are the people there what you are looking for? Would you be better served going elsewhere?

Do people know what they want in a mate? What do people generally look for? How realistic is this image? How willing are they to compromise on this ideal? Should they compromise? Do they seek a grossly imbalanced relationship?

How does the civil rights movement and political correctness affect modern dating? Does the male still pay? Does he still hold open the door?

How does one approach another? Is it still the domain of the male to approach the female? Do one-liners work? What should the conversation be about?

How has the Internet affected dating? Are Internet dating websites effective? Are websites that use free form profiles, such as www.craigslist.com, more effective than question and answer websites such as www.eharmony.com? How honest are people with their profiles? Should one have a long courtship online, or should they strive to meet one another as soon as possible? How important are to profiles are pictures? How have online games affected dating?

How does one's family affect one's views on courtship? How does this effect how people treat one another during the courtship period? Does being raised by a single parent change one's views? How does having divorced parents affect this? Does having siblings have any effect?

What concerns does the single parent face during the courtship period? Should the children be involved, and if so, when? How involved should they be?

Is the dinner and a movie date still valid, or is there something better? Should you have a mini date first, such as a short meeting in a coffee shop? What do you do on a date? What do you talk about? What shouldn't you talk about?

Do people take time to recover from a relationship, or do they jump from one to another? Why?
What I am asking for is not answers to these questions, but books and/or articles that might contain answers to these questions. More questions are also welcome. Please do not answer these questions.

If anyone is interested, I will post this research paper once it is complete.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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How exactly are you defining "modern dating?" How are you distinguishing it from non-modern? Is it time based? Is it a specific event? Is it the use of technology? Once you make that distinction you'll be able to find the most beneficial resource material.
 

DJ Red

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Good questions. Thanx for the help, mate.

Originally, I was thinking sort of a how things are now, or perhaps a why, but the questions seem to lead me towards a comparison of how times have changed, which is something I wish to avoid.

Mainly, I'm looking at the current culture in America and technology affects dating. A dissection of why we do things the way we do.

This is my first research paper, and my teacher suggested that I don't come up with a thesis-like statement, so I've been avoiding that. We're basically at the gather sources on the overall topic stage. It's due in May, so I have some time.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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DJ Red said:
...This is my first research paper, and my teacher suggested that I don't come up with a thesis-like statement, so I've been avoiding that. We're basically at the gather sources on the overall topic stage. It's due in May, so I have some time.
No thesis statement? :confused: If anything it's going to make it more difficult to identify the necessary references and write something specific as opposed to extremely general. I don't get some instructors nowadays.

It sounds like you're going down the path of technology's impact on dating rather than specific timeframes, that's fine; at least it's more specific. What specifically do you want your paper to prove about technology's impact? Yeah, this is coming up with a thesis but trust me, even if it takes a week or two to come up with a workable thesis, it can cut your research and writing time in half.
 
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Here is the route you should take....there is no such thing as "dating" in the modern age - it is about "hooking up" - for sex and pleasure -- and no longer about courtship for marriage.

You can do a comparative analysis of howw dating was 40 years ago vs. "hooking up" today.

Interview old folks for their input on how it as and young hors on how it is today- and compare the two - and then do an in depth analysis of what caused the shift from "dating" to "hooking up" -- get into the hor matrix and BAmmmm - you got 200 pages!!!

My consulting fee is not cheap!!
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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DJ Red

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I apologize for the delay, other classes have my attention this week.

Along with the 'no thesis statement,' my current assignment has me picking 40-60 quotes on modern dating. Lovely, huh. I agree that a thesis statement will help, I'll start working on that in a couple days.

I'm mainly interested in the impact of technology and political correctness, and perhaps a little procedural bit.

I don't know that comparing now to the 60's and 70's are all that much different, except maybe people were more honest about their intent.
 
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