MOA's Journey: To becoming "The Great Catch"

[Man Of Adventure]

Its that time of my life where I felt like I could be in a better situation with everything in my life. Women and dating come mainly in my mind. I am currently unemployed as a cook until the next school year starts. I am at the bottom of the ladder it feels because there is a lot of stuff I haven’t realized about myself. My attitude towards myself is somewhat negative because I always feel like I’m not doing something right or I could be doing something better with this part of my life.

It is from this day 7/15/2006 that I have decided to improve my own attitude with the belief that I’m A Great Catch.(Pook posted about this on multiple occasions) I will post as much as I can about my thoughts and feelings and things that happen to me for the next 365 days. This is not going to be some kind of great story every day. This is not going to be easy for me to do right away either. This is going to be whatever I experience...and its going to contain AFC tendencies I have just to tell you guys I am not the perfect Don Juan. I’m doing this mainly for me. I want, by the end, to see a dramatic result in myself. From now...to now a year from this day.

This is what I hope to gain over the course of a year:

-A better attitude towards myself and any mishaps that occur
-A more (me) orientated lifestyle that doesn’t have to involve girls
-A chance to really bring out the best in myself
-Much more confidence with women and with everything else in my life
-The persistence to go and have girls that like me for being me (To not have to bend over backwards for just any ordinary girl; To know what I want in a girl, keep her, and continue doing what I want in my life)
-The ability to get over any girl if need be in a matter of minutes (through any kind of testing, ignorance, or bull**** they may throw out)
-To be able to establish my identity without having to change who I am anymore
-To truly believe in myself and my capabilities

I spent most my years here getting over my nice guy tendencies and changing that part of me. Mainly, I overcompensated and became a good guy with the idea that I am still not good enough with girls nomatter how much I've learned. It shows because I come off as arrogant a lot; due to probable overcompensation for not wanting to appear weak or too nice. Thus the core of my problem along with any AFC tendencies I still fend off almost everyday. That’s why I’ve set a whole year aside to drive myself to do this kind of work in believing in myself as A Great Catch.

As far as I am concerned, I throw myself at the bottom of the DJ ladder hopefully to rise to the top and beyond with the knowledge I already have plus what I gain in the process. This isnt an approach log. This isn’t how many girls I **** log.

This has one main concept involved, and in the end that is: To become a Great Catch.

 

[Man Of Adventure]

7/15

Its a whole new concept to try to make myself believe that I'm a Great Catch. Well...yesterday being the fifteenth, I went about it rather on and offlike.

Things I noticed: A lot of doubt shot in my head. "Am I trying to become something Im not? Am I gonna come off as an arrogant bastard even more so?" and of course "Are the girls gonna get freaked out by this?"

As the day progressed, I continued to bring myself into this mindset on and off. My ex and my ex friends with benefits were spending a lot of time talking together at a party I was at which is unusual. Im still pretty tight with my ex but my FWB is known to make a lot of **** up...so it scared me that shed try to **** up the thing my ex and I have. But still, I continued to assume Im the catch

The end of the night: my ex decided she wanted to take my FWB home figuring shes just tryin to ignore me, whatever. She ends up coming back to my apartment while Im outside smoking a cigarette.
her: Im not gonna be sitting by you while youre smoking
me: (okay.....)
her: (standing there) I gotta go home in ten minutes. Are you gonna be inside before then?
me: I dunno...Im smoking
her: how long will that be?
me: :yawn: Probably about....ten minutes
her: Oh...fine. (goes inside)
me: (thinking about how long I need to post about trying to become a great catch while smoking a cig.)

I go inside to find her walking my way toward outside. I start assuming Im a great catch. Were walking to her vehicle. I have the urge to hold her hand. I do it.

her: This is unusual (I never usually held her hand ever)

We go to her vehicle. Im thinkin "hmmm...she never usually be kissed if I smoked right beforehand. Im gonna do it anyway, **** it." I grab her ass right there and kiss her, and I did it two more times. Abruptly I made my exit

me:Ill talk to you later (and walked away)
her: okay......(in an annoyed tone.)

All I can say is...hell, I did what I felt I shouldve done as a Great Catch.

Day 1: whatever...its a start (I really am not gonna hide the AFC tendencies because this whole deal is going to be a real experience)

 

[Man Of Adventure]

7/17

Ever since I was about 15, I have been struggling with girls. I couldnt understand them. I wanted to have a girlfriend, but Id always freak them out after being so nice to them, buying them gifts, being a doormat to them. I figured if anything, this is what I should do with my life. Figure it all out.

I went about these last almost 6 years being in and out of relationships, trying to change different aspects of myself to make myself more attractive, get rid of my nice guy demeanor, and more or less desire to be in a marriage leading relationship.

What I didnt realize was that getting into a relationship wasnt what I truely wanted. I wanted to become a more attractive person in general. I more importantly wanted to gain a life persuing something better than girls. I look at a lot of my good friends from high school and my fellow classmates. Theyre all in relationships, married, or have kids. Im not even quite 21.

I think we tend to rush life wanting to grow up too fast. I know I wanted to settle down with a steady relationship right after my deployment, at least what I thought. I figured happiness could be gained though a good partner. I come to realize that happiness is gained through yourself and the things you like doing. I was pushing quite some time to find a good relationship, until I realized I was rushing this part of my life.

I was doing something I didnt want to be doing in the first place. I dont want to be married anytime soon. I thought I wanted a relationship, but that was in fact my urge to become a more attractive male. That pushed my desire to start figuring things out. (Maybe being in relationships will help me understand more, blah blah blah) The fact of the matter is I have a more important dream to accomplish. To fulfill what I want to do with my life. Attracting girls was my initial goal in highschool to ensure my success in the future. Now that I hold the key, its time to move on to more important things.

I have no more desire for a girlfriend or any kind of relationship like that. Ever since I realized I was rushing for the sake of figuring this out, and my own cries for desperation (to not feel lonely), and the fact that I already got what I came for (knowledge), I dont need to chase girls. Even if girls want me...Im still gonna say no. Im the guy that has other things to accomplish. If a girlfriend comes along in the distant future, its never gonna come though the eyes of desperation. She obviously proved herself worthy of my time.