Mixed signs??

[SdaMan]

Hi there guys, newbie here.
So last week I eventually started chatting on facebook with this cute girl, a college colleague of mine. She seemed pretty receptive, kept the convo going even with my shorter texts and gave new info on her I did not ask for. We had virtually zero previous contact, though, during this we week we did meet during this chaotic college party.
This turned out pretty awkward: she was really drunk by the time I saw her but she flirted with me, eyeing me, giggling at me and eventually asking for a drink, which I coldly refused. I ended up realising I wanted her badly, so I went up to her (she was dancing with her friends) touched her arm and said "Lets get that beer". She came with me and we were alone for 15 minutes, good chemistry flowing... but suddenly she got all worried saying she had to return to her friends. I felt like I had lost the game.
Long story short, we kept messaging until yesterday, when I asked her out to a romantic coffe shop with live music. She answered she really liked talking to me and thought I was nice but she wasnt ready for any relationship right now (shes quite hard studying and exams season is upon us for the next 2 months)
Am I still in the game, can I up my game in order to gain her and also, did I went in too fast too soon??
Cheers and sorry for the long post!

 

[VladPatton]

Aside from a little too much messaging , I don't see anything you did as super catastrophic, it's just that she's not interested. Time to move in. We've all been there.

Next time ask for the date as quick as you can so you know where you stand.

 

[logicallefty]

Welcome to the forum Sir. Unfortunately in your situation her interest level was probably not that high from the start. Think back to the conversation you had with her when you were alone. What did you say? How did you act? Did you say anything that was super mushy or did you verbally vomit all over her with your feelings? again it was likely that her interest level was low from the start and something transpired in that time frame to kill the deal. or maybe she didn't have any interest at all from the start and just wanted a free beer? You might have a chance but I wouldn't contact her for at least a week and then maybe try again one more time but no more than one more time. oh well don't worry about her stick around here and you'll learn that what one woman does doesn't matter because the key to success is having options. if you don't have a lot of options now stick around here and learn a few things and you soon will.

 

[SdaMan]

Thx Sir! I acted cool and not phased out at all... not mushy definetely. She had had the drinks and shes has loads of money, didnt need mine...

 

[SdaMan]

Aside from a little too much messaging , I don't see anything you did as super catastrophic, it's just that she's not interested. Time to move in. We've all been there.

Next time ask for the date as quick as you can so you know where you stand.

Thx!! Is there anything I can do to regain the interest?

 

[Obsidian]

You're not listening. She wasn't ever very interested. Read Anti-Dump's Machine.

 

[VladPatton]

Thx!! Is there anything I can do to regain the interest?

No, just leave it alone and find other girls. Be polite and say hello if you ever see her again. That's it. Give yourself options, not lost opportunities.

 

[Cloudtopsun2100]

100% cooperation, not getting it... abundance! delete and upgrade

 

[RangerMIke]

Stopped reading when you said you were texting. Don't text women. It makes you look weak and it's completely unnecessary.

 

[Johari7]

Next time ask in person or over the phone not through msging

 

[Lozboss]

Next time ask in person or over the phone not through msging

Don't always agree here- depends on the girl.

Do agree that she wasn't ever really that interested. Sadly a fair amount of women are attention seekers- they will flake etc when pushed.

Get on with your life- she wasn't worth it.

 

[Infern0]

Some sort of overpersuing must have happened even if it was only subtle because it looked like initial signs of interest.

I wouldn't sweat it, move on and up. If she reaches out then set a date. Standard.

 

[Skyline]

Always be escalating.

You fell into the "does she want to just hook up?" Or "does she want to take it a bit more slow?" Trap. The truth is, it doesn't matter how fast you go if she's interested. The second a girl drops indicators of interest you better physically escalate as soon as possible.

Kino and banter should already be standard in your head when talking to women anyway. Remember, the goal is to make her want you more than you want her- or at least make her think that.