"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Mixed Signals

absolutealex

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So, I went out on a date the other night with this girl I've seen once or twice. Everything seemed well, at the end of the night we were our conversation style was quite flirty just the back and forth pokes if you want to call them that. Then, when I dropped her off she gave me a hug, but just nto any hug, I got the pat on the back :down: what do you all make of this?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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THE_ADDMAN

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could just be the way she hugs, but the pat on the back hug usually means friends...
 

flexion_

Master Don Juan
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Why did she give you a hug? You should be giving her a kiss. Eliminates all the mixed signal nonsense.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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donovan

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i wouldn't say your "insecure". I would say, she's probably in the process of placing you in the "friendship hole". I would put $100 on the fact that you're afraid to "break rapport" with her. This means that you are somewhat hestiatant to say something offensive or ****y. (Or that you're waiting and seeing what her reaction would be) Like Mystery and others say, you throw and go the comment, meaning that you quickly put it out there, and get onto another topic before she can respond.

This breaks rapport. For some reason if you break rapport, she will be less likely to through you in the friendship loop.

Good luck!
 
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