Okay been seeing a younger girl of 21 and everything was great at first lots of contact etc..
Killer #1: Seeing a girl too much in the beginning. She should only be seeing you on days when you have dates with her, which should be once a week to start, then gradually moves to twice a week, but no more than that.
Then things seemed too slow down, but it'd been a few day without contact and she texted me then phoned me so we was chatting
Killer #2: Calling/texting just to "chat." For one, stop texting - it KILLS relationships, especially ones that are just starting to form. And two, you don't call to do idle chat with a woman - you call to set up a DATE. Save the talking for in-person meet ups ONLY.
...and I asked if she's up to much this weekend
Killer #3: Sleuthing for a date instead of just asking her. You KNOW you want to take her out this weekend. Don't go into it asking with a hesitation in your voice, as if you're under the impression she already has better things to do. And, like the previous guy said, always have a plan. The right way to ask would have been something like, "Hey, if you've got time this weekend I wanted to catch a movie, would Friday or Sunday work best for you." (Bonus tip: don't ask new girls out for Fridays or Saturdays - those are reserved for girls you're more serious with.)
...to which she said she was free Friday night but busy for the rest of the wknd so I arranged to call round here after work on the Friday
Killer #4: Not setting up the date when on the phone with the chick the first time. She said Friday was an open day for her - THAT was when you should have set up all the details of the date (which you could have done if you already had some ideas about places you could take her). NEVER, EVER, EVER SET UP A "PHONE CALL" DATE - you have a higher chance of NOT getting a date if you try and arrange another time to call her about date details (which, again, you should be setting up on THIS call),
... I texted her early afternoon to see if she wanted me too grab a few beers on the way to which she replied ' Am just out atm' so I replied ' okay cool, what time do you want me'
Killer #5: Alcohol. No, not drinking it (though it can kill you if you drink too much). I'm talking about offering to bring by alcohol when you haven't even set up a proper date yet. By doing this, it gives her the impression that you're just trying to "drink and chill" - i.e. have sex with her - and that you don't value her enough to try and show genuine efforts at dating her and getting to know her beyond physical stuff. Also - your question of "what time do you want me" is weak. YOU are the one that takes lead, and you should have already ironed out the details of this earlier.
I got no reply too that and then today she's been liking my social media statuses.
Killer #6: Social media. Seriously - until she's the girlfriend, you shouldn't be friends with her on any social media sites. I tell every girl I'm dating that I don't befriend girls I'm trying to date until I'm in a relationship with them (you'd be surprised how many girls actually end up agreeing to go along with this and RESPECT you for it). Aside from this, you now have to play the "is she interested" game with your brain because she didn't respond to your text about a date later that day.
I don't know whether I'm coming or going can't figure her out, is she interested or isn't she ??
Interested girls accept dates. In this case, though, you didn't present her with a date, so there's really nothing to go on. Wait a week, ask her out again on a PROPER date where you've picked out an activity already, and make all the plans in that ONE call. Then on the day of the date, just show up when you agreed to - no "calling to re-confirm" or "messaging her to make sure we're still meeting up" crap. If she shows up, she's interested; if she flakes or "forgot," she's not. Pretty simple.
Would it be worth laying all my cards on the table to just find out?
There's no point in doing this. WOMEN are the ones that are verbal; YOU are supposed to be confident enough in her like for you to know that SHE will verbalize when she's ready to become the girlfriend (with the golden words: "So, what are we?"). Until then, you're still free to date other women, which you NEED to do so you won't be obsessed with this one and screw it up.
I should also add that I've banged this bird on multiple occasions. Kind of want to actually have a relationship with this girl just can't figure out what she wants? Anyone shed some light on the situation? Cheers
You don't need to figure out what she wants. That's HER job. All YOU need to do is ask her out on dates and see if she shows up. If she's showing up, it means she likes you; if she's giving you excuses as to why she can't go (assuming you're setting up ACTUAL dates and not just "hang and chill" sessions), it means she doesn't like you.
If you're patient and continue to show her a good time on these dates, the relationship will come. In the meantime, lay back a bit on this thing HAVING to become a relationship. She's having sex with you, right? She spends time with you, right? Okay then - have some confidence in yourself that she enjoys your company, and don't apply pressure to her to make this become a thing. The process will take care of itself.
Hope this helps! Oh, and for even MORE help, click the link in my signature.
