"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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mixed signals from a friend

justsomeguy1984

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ok, so i met this girl and we are very good friends. we have a lot in common and she is very attractive. we talk all the time, and sometimes i get the impression from her that she would like to be more than just friends, while other times i get the feeling that she has no romantic interest in me at all!! she is very confusing to me!!! i value our friendship very much, but at the same time i would like to find out if there could ever be anything more between us. i need to find out if this is possible without jeopardizing our friendship. i need some advice here!!!!

oh, and by the way, she is a very intelligent, confident woman with high self-esteem, so if I try using some cheezy pick-up line (which i know many guys would try to suggest) she would likely laugh in my face and never talk to me again!!! i need something that is subtle, but will give me a definative answer without putting our friendship in jeopardy!!!! also, i don't want to seem desperate!! i know this is a lot to ask, so i will greatly appreciate any advice that you guys can give me!!
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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flexion_

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"i value our friendship very much, but at the same time i would like to find out if there could ever be anything more between us. i need to find out if this is possible without jeopardizing our friendship."

Can't have it both ways. You are also in the emotional tampon / friendszone so I think it is over before it started.

If you want to find if she has some interest in - you really do??? Then go date other people and see how things change.
 

MadaMadaDame

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i value our friendship very much
No need to be afraid, because it's what you called FRIENDSHIP. For me i think your afraid because your thinking if i can be friend with her then i can get her to like me if not for now, then on the future. NEWS is when a girl treats you a friend, chances are very low for her to be romantically interested with you.

So what do you do? Ask her out , make sure it's only the two of you. This would project to her that you are interested in her more than a friend. DON't TELL HER you like her. if she said yes on your invitation, then most likely there is possibility in turning it to romantic type of relationship.


if I try using some cheezy pick-up line (which i know many guys would try to suggest) she would likely laugh in my face and never talk to me again!!!
err, you know many guys would suggest? like who? you think too much dude.. And by the way, no need for pick up lines cause you already know her DOH!!, PICK UP LINES = pick ups. You already know her, what else do you need to pick up, i know pick up your balls :D

Final note: worst to worst is she would tell you let's just be friends. Well at least you got yourself what you want ( half of it ) you want to be friends still right? It's a win win situation.

Hope to hear what happens with her. Post feedbacks.
 

dockta

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You should of Tapped it before you got to friends stage.
 

justsomeguy1984

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MadaMadaDame-

you make a very good point: I do think too much!!! She has invited me to go to a concert with her and some of her girlfriends next week, so i'm not sure if that is the right time to make a move but hey, whatever happens will happen right!! Thinking only gets me in trouble LOL. thanks for the advice and i will post any developments.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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