Mixed emotions. FWB?

[SpazzAttackk]

Okay so I met this girl at a party months back. I never hooked up with her but I talked with her a bit. Hit her up on facebook, texted her for some time but we eventually got in an argument, and I ended up drunk texting her emotionally. The next day I realized what I had said to her and accepted the fact that I severely screwed up. I never bothered to speak to her after that, and vice versa. (Forgot to mention she wanted to hook up for a night before I bombed the whole thing, she showed high IL)

About 5 months passed and I had an event I was going to. She knew a couple people there so I figured id just call her and give it a shot. She seemed thrilled that I had called and was excited I invited her. I thought she was going to flake but she actually came. During the beginning of the event I kept space between us so she wouldnt think Im needy or clingy. I eventually made my move and sparked up a convo with her that went smoothly. The group I was with decided that we were all gonna go out for dinner to a restaurant. She tagged along.

I brought her outside of the restaurant to talk with her. I ended up kissing her and we had a pretty good makeout session. We went back in and sat down but she told me she had to leave because she had family coming over and told me to walk her out and wait with her at a bus stop. It was a 20 minute wait for the bus, and we were downtown New York on a busy street. We ended up having an extremely intense kiss-off. She told me to hold her hand because it was cold (At this point, everything we were doing wasnt what FWB would do. It felt like I was in a relationship, the way she was acting and what not)

We both made it clear that neither of us would catch feelings. But the way she kept looking at me and flirting threw me off a bit. She said next time we hangout wed go further.

To be honest, I would not mind a relationship with her if she caught feelings, and if she wants one.. how the hell would I go about bringing that up without looking as though I MYSELF caught feelings?

What do you guys think? Should I proceed with caution, and be careful? Or let things play out? Im pretty neutral about this kind of stuff. If a FWB falls in love, Id give it a shot depending on how clingy and obsessed they are. She doesnt seem clingy at all.

 

[BeDJ]

If this is the same chick, don't be an attention wh*re

She is not interested in you. 6 months is a very long time. Women don't remember what they did 2 weeks ago. When a women is interested, she days will feel like weeks to her. Let this one go.

 

[dap]

I would keep doing what ur doing: escalate physically but let her be the one to push for a relationship if that's what she wants. Let her get emotionally invested before you. Keep you feelings guarded.

 

[SpazzAttackk]

If this is the same chick, don't be an attention wh*re

She is not interested in you. 6 months is a very long time. Women don't remember what they did 2 weeks ago. When a women is interested, she days will feel like weeks to her. Let this one go.

No disrespect but what the hell does this advice have to do with what I wrote? Interest comes back. But again, what the hell lol?

Edit: OHHHH NOOO LOL Its not the same chick. This ones different. I think I clarified that when I know I screw up, I back off.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Oh boy, it's time to analyze the OP of this threat - yaaaaay! Heeeeere we gooooo....

Okay so I met this girl at a party months back. I never hooked up with her but I talked with her a bit.

Let me stop you right there. You haven't hooked up with her yet and you've known her for months? No bueno. Not saying you have to rush out and bang every girl you meet, but really - after 3 months, you've either hit or been moved to the "friend zone."

Hit her up on facebook, texted her for some time...

Say it with me, now: Texting KILLS relationships. It's too easy to end up saying something out of context that she takes the wrong way and ends up making a big deal out of, setting you up for some kind of argument that's destructive to her interest level in you, and...

...but we eventually got in an argument, and I ended up drunk texting her emotionally.

Oh. So, I guess you've already experienced what I'm talking about. Please, continue...

The next day I realized what I had said to her and accepted the fact that I severely screwed up. I never bothered to speak to her after that, and vice versa. (Forgot to mention she wanted to hook up for a night before I bombed the whole thing, she showed high IL)

But after the blow-out, she stopped having high interest in you. Proof? You got embarrassed and stopped contacting her... but she didn't try reaching out to you either. The phone works both ways, ya know!

About 5 months passed and I had an event I was going to. She knew a couple people there so I figured id just call her and give it a shot. She seemed thrilled that I had called and was excited I invited her. I thought she was going to flake but she actually came.

Eh, it was bound to happen. After 5 months events and things become hazy; doesn't mean she doesn't remember the argument you had, it just means its emotional impact has been lessened due to time.

During the beginning of the event I kept space between us so she wouldnt think Im needy or clingy. I eventually made my move and sparked up a convo with her that went smoothly. The group I was with decided that we were all gonna go out for dinner to a restaurant. She tagged along.

Ugh, you brought her around your friends? No bueno - you don't even have your hook completely set in her yet, and you're already bringing her around other people. Bringing a chick around your friends is something you do once a relationship has been established - before then, it's a horrible idea because she hasn't made a 100% decision on YOU yet and can easily be swayed into dating one of your friends. Or, if she ends up not liking your friends, she can determine that, if you're like your friends, she's eventually not going to like you, and she'll bail out.

I brought her outside of the restaurant to talk with her. I ended up kissing her and we had a pretty good makeout session. We went back in and sat down but she told me she had to leave because she had family coming over and told me to walk her out and wait with her at a bus stop.

Sooooo.... you went and had a make-out session with her (props )... and then she suddenly tells you she has to leave and go someplace else? Had she mentioned this to you BEFORE the makeout session took place? If not, no bueno. If the "family" story were true, she would have known about them coming over BEFORE she met up with you and told you that in advance.

It was a 20 minute wait for the bus, and we were downtown New York on a busy street. We ended up having an extremely intense kiss-off. She told me to hold her hand because it was cold (At this point, everything we were doing wasnt what FWB would do. It felt like I was in a relationship, the way she was acting and what not)

But in reality, you're NOT yet in a relationship with her. You very well could end up in one with her, but you're not there yet. All this stuff is just physicalities that feel good on both ends, and may even signal some kind of interest... but not so fast, maaaan!

We both made it clear that neither of us would catch feelings.

Translation: she said neither of you should catch feelings, and you agreed so she'd make out with you. Great strategy, but don't lie to us, man - you caught feelings the first time you met her, don't back-peddle now!

But the way she kept looking at me and flirting threw me off a bit. She said next time we hangout wed go further.

Don't believe the words, believe the ACTIONS. She "said" you'd go further next time, but when is next time? Did she set a date on it? Have you called to ask her out again?

To be honest, I would not mind a relationship with her if she caught feelings, and if she wants one..

Well, thank you for being honest with us, but we already knew this...

How the hell would I go about bringing that up without looking as though I MYSELF caught feelings?

Simple: you don't. Women are the ones who are supposed to admit their feelings FIRST. All you do is keep doing the following: asking her out; showing her a good time; banging her brains out; and repeat. After 2 or 3 months of this, if things are going smoothly and she actually has high interest in you, SHE will be the one to bring up exclusivity by asking you the question all high-interested girls ask a man she's regularly banging/seeing:

"So, what are we?"

TRUST me, I've been in this scenario many times, and all the girls who ever had high interest in me would eventually ask this question. And they ask it because they want to be OWNED, i.e. CLAIMED, by you. At which point, you'll know it's time to move things to the bf/gf level.

BUT - and this is very important - if YOU ask her this question instead, you risk doing it too early, before her interest is at its high for you, and she'll end up giving you the LJBF speech. That's why it's better to wait for HER to ask it - that way, you'll know for SURE that she's ready to be more than just FWB with you.

Hope this helps!

 

[SpazzAttackk]

Haha now theres a good post.

They were her friends too, its really hard to explain the situation. But we all knew each other, I just held off inviting her because someone she hated was going. Found out they werent going and told her she should come.

We have plans next week for a party, so ill tell you how that plays out .

Oh and believe me, I definitely wont be asking the question. Like I said, I have no feelings