Missed Chance?

[CheekyMonkey101]

Yesterday evening I was doing a muay Thai class at a new gym I've joined. I was with two other friends and I was trying to do a combo with a switch kick (which I admittedly struggle with sometimes). I noticed this decent looking girl looking over a few times and then she came over and started offering advice which I was thankful for.

After that, as my mates paired up for pad work, she came over and offered to hold pads for me, which I was happy to oblige. Whilst doing it we seemed to have good rapport as we exchanged names, spoke for a bit and she was very receptive with warm body language and smiling and laughing a lot.

At the end I went over and spoke to her for a bit and she was still very receptive with good body language. After a bit I said I had to go but I'd see her around and it was nice to meet her and she said the same.

Looking back, should I have suggested meeting up for training at some point or just meeting up outside the gym or would it be better to start talking to her again when I next see her at the gym and observing how warm she is and going from there? I didn't want to come across as inappropriate at a new gym by misreading a situation but I felt like this was a good opportunity. Even my mates said they noticed her looking at me before she came over, so it seems like it was perhaps a missed chance.

 

[SW15]

It sounds like a missed opportunity to me. You should have offered her a date at the end of class. Very few women at a fitness class are receptive enough to talk for a few minutes.

 

[CheekyMonkey101]

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It sounds like a missed opportunity to me. You should have offered her a date at the end of class. Very few women at a fitness class are receptive enough to talk for a few minutes.

Probably, but I'll talk to her again next time and see how receptive she is and if she is I'll try.

 

[SW15]

I'll talk to her again next time and see how receptive she is and if she is I'll try.

If you're lucky, you'll get a second chance.

A number of places that I've been with fitness classes have different people attending the class. It was less common to see someone repeatedly. You may never see her again in a class.

 

[CheekyMonkey101]

If you're lucky, you'll get a second chance.

A number of places that I've been with fitness classes have different people attending the class. It was less common to see someone repeatedly. You may never see her again in a class.

Maybe, but either way it's a learning curve. This is an actual gym with regular members so hopefully get another shot.

 

[pipeman84]

I don't think you missed anything. In fact, a girl approaching a man at the gym and showing strong interest is something that doesn't happen, according to most users on the forum.

Talk to her when you have your next class and see what's up with her and why she has such an interest in you. Keep us posted.

 

[Divorced w 3]

If you're lucky, you'll get a second chance.

A number of places that I've been with fitness classes have different people attending the class. It was less common to see someone repeatedly. You may never see her again in a class.

It sounds like she is a regular from how she conducted herself.

As a muay thai student I can tell you, that it is a common occurrence for students to return to not only the same gym but also attend the same actual class, repeatedly, which is what anyone would do if they were actually trying to learn something, is it not?

If anything, the variable in this situation is OP, who was new to the class.

I think he handled it perfectly to be honest, if he’s actually going to go back there.

It’s common in the MMA community for classmates to hook up.

 

[The Duke]

You will see her again. If she is really interested, she isn't going anywhere. Let the connection grow some more, then ask her out. It gives you time to learn more about her and see if she is worthy of taking out. Meanwhile, entertain other women as well.

 

[SW15]

Maybe, but either way it's a learning curve. This is an actual gym with regular members so hopefully get another shot.

As a muay thai student I can tell you, that it is a common occurrence for students to return to not only the same gym but also attend the same actual class, repeatedly, which is what anyone would do if they were actually trying to learn something, is it not?

I don't know the dynamics of @CheekyMonkey101 's gym.

I have been to classes my own gym (a big box type gym) and to standalone fitness studio type concepts like SoulCycle. In the classes at bougie standalone studios and at big box type gyms, class turnover is extremely high. For instance, I could go to the same class format at 6 PM on a Tuesday 2 consecutive weeks and be taking the class with completely different people. Each studio/gym I've been to has had a similar culture to this where class attendees are never constant. At the places where I've been, it's essential to make a move in that exact moment.

 

[Divorced w 3]

I don't know the dynamics of @CheekyMonkey101 's gym.

I have been to classes my own gym (a big box type gym) and to standalone fitness studio type concepts like SoulCycle. In the classes at bougie standalone studios and at big box type gyms, class turnover is extremely high. For instance, I could go to the same class format at 6 PM on a Tuesday 2 consecutive weeks and be taking the class with completely different people. Each studio/gym I've been to has had a similar culture to this where class attendees are never constant. At the places where I've been, it's essential to make a move in that exact moment.

I see. Muay Thai is not that type of thing. It is a martial art, and builds on consistent work and application of lessons learned. In that vein, people tend to stick with instructors and classes they like, and form a camaraderie and relationships with their classmates, that typically extends outside the gym.

 

[SW15]

Muay Thai is not that type of thing. It is a martial art, and builds on consistent work and application of lessons learned. In that vein, people tend to stick with instructors and classes they like, and form a camaraderie and relationships with their classmates, that typically extends outside the gym.

Muay Thai and other mixed martial arts type gyms seem to have a much different culture than standard, big box type gyms or the culture at the bougie type fitness studio concepts.

It’s common in the MMA community for classmates to hook up.

I have heard of that before. I had a date with a woman who practiced some MMA form. She ghosted me after the first date. I saw her Instagram a while after that incident and she had cut her hair short.

Based on her Instagram, she seemed like the type who would have done that. She ended up in an LTR with some beta, low T looking guy.

 

[CoolWave1331]

You did not miss your chance, you did exactly what you were supposed to do.

I would say don't scrutinize her actions too much, as an example; oh she's blinked x times under a minute this might mean something. What is most important is you had a conversation and she appeared to be friendly.

She's most likely a regular so you'll see her again. IF she does not greet you first, this is what you can do, when she's not tied up you can approach her, say hi and tell her you were working on those kicks she showed and then ask her if she can hold the pads so you can show her. Just try to talk to her here and there, don't feel you need to rush things. At some point she will probably volunteer information about her relationship status, if not, you can test the waters by mentioning your own ---- but that's a story for another time.

In my experience having trained in martial arts the girls that were usually there were there because they had boyfriend-husband and/or were training with them. Most girls go to regular gym or do yoga/pilates or something. If you see her around a lot and she's training without a partner, maybe no significant other, but don't take for gospel.

Anyway keep it up and good luck

 

[CheekyMonkey101]

You will see her again. If she is really interested, she isn't going anywhere. Let the connection grow some more, then ask her out. It gives you time to learn more about her and see if she is worthy of taking out. Meanwhile, entertain other women as well.

Yeah, that's what I am going to do. I will say hi to her when I see her again and test the waters to see how receptive she is, but the signs were promising from this first meet.

 

[CheekyMonkey101]

You did not miss your chance, you did exactly what you were supposed to do.

I would say don't scrutinize her actions too much, as an example; oh she's blinked x times under a minute this might mean something. What is most important is you had a conversation and she appeared to be friendly.

She's most likely a regular so you'll see her again. IF she does not greet you first, this is what you can do, when she's not tied up you can approach her, say hi and tell her you were working on those kicks she showed and then ask her if she can hold the pads so you can show her. Just try to talk to her here and there, don't feel you need to rush things. At some point she will probably volunteer information about her relationship status, if not, you can test the waters by mentioning your own ---- but that's a story for another time.

In my experience having trained in martial arts the girls that were usually there were there because they had boyfriend-husband and/or were training with them. Most girls go to regular gym or do yoga/pilates or something. If you see her around a lot and she's training without a partner, maybe no significant other, but don't take for gospel.

Anyway keep it up and good luck

Yeah, I'll say hi to her next time I see her or she may come up to me again. I'll see how receptive she is then and then proceed accordingly.

 

[Clockwerk50]

I don’t think so. Just go up to her and say something like, “Hey, how’s it going? [insert something from last conversation]. Just wanted to check in and see if we can spar again like last time. if you’re up for another round, lol,” or make it a bit more assertive.

During the workout, ask her if she trains outside the gym or if she’s ever met up with people from the gym in real life, then gauge her reaction. If it feels right, say something like, “Maybe we should hang out sometime,” and ask for her number.

Just remember, she’s probably doing this with multiple guys. If you wait too long, you’ll come across as uninterested, just another gym regular with no balls, things will fizzle out, and someone else will take your spot.

PS:Not sure if this will change your mindset, but by being in her vicinity and letting her make the first move, you’re leading the seduction through an indirect approach.

 

[CheekyMonkey101]

I don’t think so. Just go up to her and say something like, “Hey, how’s it going? [insert something from last conversation]. Just wanted to check in and see if we can spar again like last time. if you’re up for another round, lol,” or make it a bit more assertive.

During the workout, ask her if she trains outside the gym or if she’s ever met up with people from the gym in real life, then gauge her reaction. If it feels right, say something like, “Maybe we should hang out sometime,” and ask for her number.

Just remember, she’s probably doing this with multiple guys. If you wait too long, you’ll come across as uninterested, just another gym regular with no balls, things will fizzle out, and someone else will take your spot.

PS:Not sure if this will change your mindset, but by being in her vicinity and letting her make the first move, you’re leading the seduction through an indirect approach.

Yeah I was thinking of going up to her next time and making a joke about how my switch kick has improved and see her reaction and act accordingly. If she seems receptive like last time I'll suggest meeting up outside the gym.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Yeah I was thinking of going up to her next time and making a joke about how my switch kick has improved and see her reaction and act accordingly. If she seems receptive like last time I'll suggest meeting up outside the gym.

What’s the problem with asking her to spar again?

 

[CheekyMonkey101]

What’s the problem with asking her to spar again?

Nothing. It was just one suggestion.

 

[BaronOfHair]

I noticed this decent looking girl looking...

You went straight home rather than stopping off at Burger King, even though Ruth's Chris and the like haven't been wiped off the face of the planet via economic downturn or nuclear war, in other words

The probable loss here was minute, hoss. Don't spend another microsecond dwelling on what could've been