Minor thing

[Lion]

So I ask a girl I like if she wants to go for a drink sometime, we had a gd night a couple of days ago, she said yea gd idea etc so i txt her today saying "Lets go tonight, 7pm see you there" she replies with,
Im going to volleyball, not sure if il be back by 7, but if i get my work finished, might be going to the pub with housemates, shall i let you know if we go?

I'd prefer not to go with her housemates, although I know them already. Shall i say, no its ok, Im going to the pub with my mates now or somthing like that? (this is 2hrs after I originally asked her)
:box:

 

[Lion]

shes clearly testing me for something, but what do i say? I wanna hammer it home

 

[Jariel]

A test? It sounds more like she has prior arrangements. Unless you've been going out for several months, it's a lot to expect her to cancel plans or put off her friends for you...and a good way to ruin your chances.

Going to meet her and her housemates might not be a bad idea. It's important to show you don't intend to get in the way of her friendships, so getting along with her friends will go in your favour because she'll see that she can integrate you into her group rather than choosing between the two.

If you're not keen on the idea, just arrange to meet when it's convenient for you both. Don't forget that she has a life too, and any guy who is too demanding will get the brush off immediately.

 

[Lion]

Thats some useful advice Jariel. I replied well.

Thing is I dont mind meeting her mates as I know them better than her, it would just be weird, dividing my attention between mates and a girl i just wanna .....

 

[Jariel]

Yeah, it's a nightmare being with a girl and her mates, but dividing your attention can be a benefit as it will leave her craving more, and maybe trigger a little jealousy.

One time a girl invited her friend to what I thought was a date, so I ended up talking to her friend most of the time. The girl I was meant to be dating got so jealous and threw herself at me at the end of the night.

Anyway, good luck!

 

[Lion]

Thanks man, well things were going well from that point. More little qualms...
Read on, heres the scenario,
I had two exams last week tues, and friday, so on mon I set up a date for friday- after my exam for drinks. Doing this allowed me to concentrate on revision.

She txted me gd luck on tuesday, I replied in the evening thanking her and returning the wishes, she then asked if I was revising in uni on thurs, now I quickly concluded she wanted to see me so I said "yea do you want to join me for lunch?"
She said yes, it will be a gd break from revision etc... so I meet her thurs...
Lunch was gd but I didn't feel as attracted to her as I normally do, maybe no make-up!?
She also talked about her housemates far too much which I have been guilty of doing in the past (now with hindsight). I initiated the exit after spending an hour there and got back to revision, she went to the gym, library...but not before her leaning in for the kiss, once- just a kiss on the lips, then for a second time-just gave it to her on the lips again (just after eating this put me off taking it further!)

So then on friday after my exam I just hang out with the boys, I don't arrange to meet up. Then I txt her in the evening saying hows things... and how my exam went good (maybe I felt guilty of not meeting up with her, otherwise my txt would have been purposeful)

Now I recall her telling me she was at a party on fri night, so in her reply as predicted she tells me she's been at party blah blah

So then I say stuff like, all play and no work.....what else do you say to that with no substance?

Then after Im asleep at like 3am she txts back with "you gotta let your hair down once in a while"..when I wake up sat morn I read this and I txt back saying "come round here if you want to let your hair down properly" - sounds so bad now I think!?


I get a reply in the eve saying "no I shouldnt really, gotta revise for exams next week"
(We've been in this situation before, after going out, she likes long goodbyes but doesnt want to take it further)

So I txt back today saying gd luck, drop some C+F, then here comes the reply...
"Thanks mate I'll need it, cant wait till exams are over", followed by some sheet sentence which I can't understand.


So my DJ's, I welcome your criticisms! Fire away

 

[Lion]

My critics, where are you? I would be most grateful for your opinions...

 

[flexion_]

I wouldn't go with her and her friends. I'd keep her friends out of it until you nail her at least. Getting her friends involved from the start is a great way to get into the friendzone.

This approach makes it pretty unclear whether its a date or just friends hanging out right?

Give her a bit more notice as well.