"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Minimum Requirements

wifehunter

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So, all the love doctors talk about making yourself scarce to increase your value, etc. etc. But they don't talk about being too scarce... is there a limit, besides disappearing into oblivion?

Personally, the record I've gone is +60 days. It seems a bit extreme. It was an NC situation.

Currently, I'm at 30 days as of yesterday. I've had a lot on my plate, this past month with surgery, getting into a fight, work, and career issues. I just needed to get away for awhile. And, we're not official or anything, so we don't talk much besides me keeping things light and humorous.

I'm just looking for opinions and ideas.

What's the minimum contact required?. I'm thinking it's subjective an depends on the lady, and her personality. I'm sure introvert girls could use the alone time more.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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CMNILS87

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It differs. Gal I'm seeing, setup a date went no contact for 3 days, texted her a bit and it's good. Another girl on vacation, didn't text her for a week and a half. Everyone's opinion will change. Texting 24/7 reduces scarcity. But if you're keeping lines of communication open to let her know there's still interest without asking her what she's doing or giving away free info about yourself. I don't see a problem. You have to gauge each girls interest per each case.
 

wifehunter

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But if you're keeping lines of communication open to let her know there's still interest without asking her what she's doing or giving away free info about yourself. I don't see a problem. You have to gauge each girls interest per each case.
Yes, I had a feeling I would need some time away for awhile, also she was giving me the sad face when I would go... So, I dropped her my email and phone number. She was super happy about that, but I'm not surprised she hasn't contacted me as she's extremely shy at times. She's probably waiting for me to contact her the first time. She's probably afraid I'll reject her. I'll pickup her number next time I see her.

It's nice being the ladies only option. There's only d1ckheads and soft betas around here.
 

PantyWhisperer

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The danger is when you go NC to pique interest and she let's it stay NC. Then you're like....hmmmm?
I've had to go on NC for a plate that just wouldn't come through on a consistent basis, and nothing that I was doing, either beta PUA stuff, AFC gift giving and groveling, being alpha and pushy didn't seem to work. Going NC was a last resort and it's looking like we are going to stay dark.

The upside is that I wasn't getting any more of that pvssy any way - I was just her crying towel and her "I'm bored" contact. At least this way, I was was the one who double ghosted her ass and since it was played out, I feel like I left with the upper hand. You do have to be prepared to pay that price though if NC is a strategy to increase her interest.
 

wifehunter

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The danger is when you go NC to pique interest and she let's it stay NC. Then you're like....hmmmm?
In that case, I guess it wasn't meant to be. (LTR)
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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ubercat

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100 % correct you can't stop an interested girl contacting you. She would find a way.
 

PantyWhisperer

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100 % correct you can't stop an interested girl contacting you. She would find a way.
Yes and that's a real hard truth to swallow, while you hover over your phone like a fat girl on prom night, and the silence becomes deafening.
 

EyeBRollin

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I make sure to hit up plates that are in good standing within 2 weeks time from last contact. They always contact well before that (usually in 72 hours max). I stand by the 2 week guideline. If I can't fit her into my schedule within the next two weeks, I simply reply back using a stalling tactic.

"Hey <plate>, swamped right now. I'll get back to you soon."

Ghost for <2 weeks. This is how I've effectively used the phone as a time bridge for ~month in extreme circumstances.

If a plate is in poor standing, I don't bother stalling. She can fall off the face of the earth for all I care. You'd be surprised though, the more scarce you are (to a point), the more they want you. They'll rip your clothes off immediately on your next date with enough time.
 

PantyWhisperer

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You are right to say "to a point" - it's just figuring out where that point is that can be so frustrating. Every girl and every situation is different in that regard. I've gone well beyond the point in scarcity and had it result in a forever gone outcome. That fine line....
 

SuckItUp

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It's not about a limit but rather more about when someone comes back into your sphere of choosing to bring them into your sphere.

The key is making a profound enough impression that you are always just on the tip of their tongue/back of their mind.

Think of it like the toddler with the box full of toys. The toddler will be enthralled with the new shiny object each time he sees a new one, but what happens when runs out of new toys. He's going to pick one that becomes his security blanket and the one he develops an attachment with to become the default toy.

If you are worrying about when to contact a woman 30,45,60 days down the road then this girl has become your default and you're in a oneitis type spot.

Just continue to adid more dates and live more for the possibilities of the next date rather planning the ultimate love story for you and a girl you think might be the great fit.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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BetterCallSaul

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Currently, I'm at 30 days as of yesterday. I've had a lot on my plate, this past month with surgery, getting into a fight, work, and career issues. I just needed to get away for awhile. ....
Details?

What's the minimum contact required?. ....
hey
 

wifehunter

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If you are worrying about when to contact a woman 30,45,60 days down the road then this girl has become your default and you're in a oneitis type spot.

Just continue to adid more dates and live more for the possibilities of the next date rather planning the ultimate love story for you and a girl you think might be the great fit.
Oneitis... I thought about it, and... looks like it at surface level, but... nah, she feels the same. I can tell by her signals, and in conversation. We're both introverts and cuckoo for each other... her more-so, because she's gone through one of my friends to find out if I'm "done with her, or not". Right now, she's dying for me to ask her out. It's been like that for months.

I just got a new car days ago, and will be working in a few more days. I'll need an income, if I am to support any type of fun adventures with this lady. Just getting my ducks in a row, for now! busy! busy! Thanks!
 

wifehunter

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Details?



hey
Yeah, it's was early morning around 5am, I was dozing/sleeping at a bus stop. The guy gets out of car and grabs my bags. I wake up, look around to find that he has my bags. Right before he gets into the car, I grab him by the shoulders (he was much younger and bigger than me, and in better shape) and throw him to the ground (all the weight from my bags helped a lot)... I fell with him and he broke my fall... I looked at his buddy waiting in the car with the "you're next" look. The buddy drives about 50 ft. away.

Then I started pulling out his hair. (he was a pretty boy with longish blonde hair) He starts flailing his arms but, He can hit me, because I'm too close. He couldn't take the hair pulling, so he started running back to the car, that his buddy was waiting for him in. Then I tore one of the sleeves off his shirt as he ran. Before he got in the car, he looked back in horror, as if I was going to kill him.

Fun morning! /verbal irony
 
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