I've begun to realize that mindset is everything. Back in my AFC days I would overthink everything. And by everything, I mean absolutely everything. If I met somebody one time, then I would refuse to talk to them again. I convinced myself that they would think I'm weird, because somehow they'd know that I was only being that friendly to them, and they'd realize I was interested. My first instinct would then be to RUN AWAY!
But, then I realized something. If you're friendly and outgoing to everybody, then it's nothing out of the ordinary if I say hi to a girl I met once. I have friends. I've had girlfriends. I've had many missed opportunities. Obviously there's something appealing about me, so why should I be afraid to be friendly to somebody who I've met before? The answer: I shouldn't be.
Here's an example: I have a very good female friend who's a year younger than me. We hang out sometimes at lunch (although I never initiate the conversation or EC
) and through her I've met a bunch of sophomores. A couple of months ago, I would talk to them maybe a tiny bit, and then that would be it. Now though, I treat them with respect and friendliness whenever I see them, and they all know my name and engage me in conversation.
If you think you're a great guy, a friendly guy, and that you have attractive qualities, you'll make friends very easily.
Another example: I went to homecoming this weekend with one of my very good friends at her private, all girls school. She's the only one that I know who goes there. Before finding this site I would have talked to her the whole evening, been introverted, and not had the guts to ask anybody to dance. In fact, that's what every single one of my friend's friends' dates did. I was the only guy who didn't ditch his date to walk around or stand by the wall trying to look cool. I know I'm cool, I don't care what other people think of me, and I just acted like myself.
She called me today and said "dude, my friends loved you. they said that my date was so cool."
Damn straight.
Being friendly won't scare girls away. Being unfriendly will. At this homecoming, I managed to upstage every other guys in the group (it was four others, I think) before dinner had even started. How? I was friendly as all get out before I'd memorized everybody's names.
My friend told me that one of the girls was going without a date, because hers couldn't make it. So, I got my friend a rose, and I got this girl who I didn't know a rose. And they loved me for it. One of the girls looked at every other guy there and said "You all are going to have to step it up now."
There's nothing wrong with being friendly. There is something wrong with being unfriendly. Ignoring somebody and pretending you don't notice them because you've only met them once isn't cool - it's AFCish.
But, then I realized something. If you're friendly and outgoing to everybody, then it's nothing out of the ordinary if I say hi to a girl I met once. I have friends. I've had girlfriends. I've had many missed opportunities. Obviously there's something appealing about me, so why should I be afraid to be friendly to somebody who I've met before? The answer: I shouldn't be.
Here's an example: I have a very good female friend who's a year younger than me. We hang out sometimes at lunch (although I never initiate the conversation or EC
) and through her I've met a bunch of sophomores. A couple of months ago, I would talk to them maybe a tiny bit, and then that would be it. Now though, I treat them with respect and friendliness whenever I see them, and they all know my name and engage me in conversation.If you think you're a great guy, a friendly guy, and that you have attractive qualities, you'll make friends very easily.
Another example: I went to homecoming this weekend with one of my very good friends at her private, all girls school. She's the only one that I know who goes there. Before finding this site I would have talked to her the whole evening, been introverted, and not had the guts to ask anybody to dance. In fact, that's what every single one of my friend's friends' dates did. I was the only guy who didn't ditch his date to walk around or stand by the wall trying to look cool. I know I'm cool, I don't care what other people think of me, and I just acted like myself.
She called me today and said "dude, my friends loved you. they said that my date was so cool."
Damn straight.
Being friendly won't scare girls away. Being unfriendly will. At this homecoming, I managed to upstage every other guys in the group (it was four others, I think) before dinner had even started. How? I was friendly as all get out before I'd memorized everybody's names.
My friend told me that one of the girls was going without a date, because hers couldn't make it. So, I got my friend a rose, and I got this girl who I didn't know a rose. And they loved me for it. One of the girls looked at every other guy there and said "You all are going to have to step it up now."
There's nothing wrong with being friendly. There is something wrong with being unfriendly. Ignoring somebody and pretending you don't notice them because you've only met them once isn't cool - it's AFCish.