Steady Eddie
Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 2, 2015
- Messages
- 125
- Reaction score
- 47
This is a phenomena I first encountered when I was 20 years old (I'm now 37) and at the time I fell for it. It wasn't just the blow to my ego that was the problem, but the fact I had read the signals so wrong.
At work the environment is open plan so everyone can see everyone else, except when they're busy with customers.
I was busy with several customers and had to do a quick calculation. These calculations are part of the job. I required a supervisor to check my calculations were correct and I didn't want to look a fool, so I did them again in my head. Absent mindedly I looked up and turned my head in the direction of a colleague who was also busy with customers. At the very moment I had done so she stopped what she was doing and met my eyes.
She and several other female colleagues had subjected me to this before, but none had done it with the level of sincerity she was able to muster in that moment.
It made me doubt whether this woman who had shown me nothing but contempt for the previous 6 months was actually interested.
I know she isn't. I know this because she's white and I'm not. I know as sure as I breathe breath, she would never date my race. Neither would any of the women I work with. I don't view it as racism, just preference.
We are entitled to those without fear of judgement.
This mimicking got so bad i had to start ignoring most of my female colleagues. I don't go to work looking for a date and I don't expect to get played there either.
The chief offender (let's call her sexy Sadie) had led on one of my younger male colleagues. He knew deep down she would have nothing to do with him, but as he was leaving the company to go to the city, he thought he might as well try his luck.
She told him in the staff room no less "did you really think you had a chance?"
She had already rejected him but this was her turning the knife.
Sadie had tried every trick in the book to get me in the same position as this erstwhile colleague, to no avail.
Sexy Sadie had slept her way to the top, but was asked to leave when she refused to do essential tasks, she deemed, beneath her.
We all have our breaking point I suppose.
Unfortunately the company has brought in a new woman who is trying to pull the same rubbish as Sadie. Although unlike Sadie who was trading off looks that were fading, the new woman has no looks and is built like a tank.
Which means she has to use what little charisma she has.
I know from the off this woman won't respect boundaries. She's already started touching me in a reverse kino kind of way. And has tried to start conversations with me that are designed to make me think she's interested.
I want to stop her in her tracks. But I know if I have to come out with one of my spontaneous put downs it will end badly.
How do I let her know I know the score and won't tolerate any bulls*it?
p.s. I have a problem with confrontation.
At work the environment is open plan so everyone can see everyone else, except when they're busy with customers.
I was busy with several customers and had to do a quick calculation. These calculations are part of the job. I required a supervisor to check my calculations were correct and I didn't want to look a fool, so I did them again in my head. Absent mindedly I looked up and turned my head in the direction of a colleague who was also busy with customers. At the very moment I had done so she stopped what she was doing and met my eyes.
She and several other female colleagues had subjected me to this before, but none had done it with the level of sincerity she was able to muster in that moment.
It made me doubt whether this woman who had shown me nothing but contempt for the previous 6 months was actually interested.
I know she isn't. I know this because she's white and I'm not. I know as sure as I breathe breath, she would never date my race. Neither would any of the women I work with. I don't view it as racism, just preference.
We are entitled to those without fear of judgement.
This mimicking got so bad i had to start ignoring most of my female colleagues. I don't go to work looking for a date and I don't expect to get played there either.
The chief offender (let's call her sexy Sadie) had led on one of my younger male colleagues. He knew deep down she would have nothing to do with him, but as he was leaving the company to go to the city, he thought he might as well try his luck.
She told him in the staff room no less "did you really think you had a chance?"
She had already rejected him but this was her turning the knife.
Sadie had tried every trick in the book to get me in the same position as this erstwhile colleague, to no avail.
Sexy Sadie had slept her way to the top, but was asked to leave when she refused to do essential tasks, she deemed, beneath her.
We all have our breaking point I suppose.
Unfortunately the company has brought in a new woman who is trying to pull the same rubbish as Sadie. Although unlike Sadie who was trading off looks that were fading, the new woman has no looks and is built like a tank.
Which means she has to use what little charisma she has.
I know from the off this woman won't respect boundaries. She's already started touching me in a reverse kino kind of way. And has tried to start conversations with me that are designed to make me think she's interested.
I want to stop her in her tracks. But I know if I have to come out with one of my spontaneous put downs it will end badly.
How do I let her know I know the score and won't tolerate any bulls*it?
p.s. I have a problem with confrontation.