Military guys and relationships

[The Bat]

I have noticed this with almost every military guy I meet. They are all either in a long term relationship or are engaged/married. The trickiest thing is that most of their relationship started couple of months before they hit boot camp.

Now, I'm not the one to pass judgment, but I find this a little curious. What is going on here? Is it their status as soldiers that drives the woman they are with to stay through till the "bitter end"? Is it their aggressive nature (the bad boy persona) that keeps these woman interested?

You see, this situation is a little different than post-WWII era. WWII, heroes were made by the minute both in Europe and the Pacific. Relatively speaking, not many heroes are created in Iraq and Afghanistan today (RELATIVELY). Can we expect a smaller baby-boom once Iraq War ends (McCain can prevent this though )?

I personally think it's the whole status concept that plays a big factor here. Soldiers are brave and courageous enough to step into unknown territory with guys dressed as civilians and waiting to kill them. When the woman finds out that their man is joining the service with the possibility of getting shipped to war, the attraction level goes through the roof. They feel a sense of excitement and danger just by being with the soldier. They proudly show off their bf/husband to all of their girlfriends with the obvious grin that says, "My bf is such a bad boy". They mold and shape their future around their bf. "I will do x, and learn x, and buy x so that my soldier is happy".

Then of course we hear about the break ups and the heart aches. The cheating girlfriends/wives and their gold digging ways (refer to Latinoman's thread). It blows my mind how you can have two polar opposite type women with the military guys. Or maybe they start off being one way and end up as other...but then I'd be generalizing, and that's not my point.

This is just something curious I've noticed and thought I'd share. Maybe folks here have something to add. Remember, don't attack the messenger, attack the context.

 

[MotownMack]

I am in the military and can personally tell you, that most if not all soldiers get cheated on during deployment. Women constantly need attention and affirmation and 99% of these women cheat, and/or leave their husbands during deployment.

He's right. I've been in the military, but I was close friends with two girls who were married to Navy guys, who went out to sea for long periods. From talking to them- and observing them-cheating was pretty much a way of life for them and their friends.

My sample of women was obviously pretty limited- they could have just been a lower class crowd. But the way she made it sound, pretty much all of them did, justifying it by assuming their husbands must be doing it too.

I agree with Judo guy that there isn't much status in being in the military (why would there be, they accept anyone.). Fantasy wise is one thing-much like Juan the pool boy, a military guy might be viewed as confident and manly when it comes to initial attraction. But everyone knows they don't make much money, are often seen as low on intelligence, and have the reputation as fvcking anything that moves.

 

[gray_fox_9]

Hahaha Omg this is complete BS.

I am in the military and can personally tell you, that most if not all soldiers get cheated on during deployment. Women constantly need attention and affirmation and 99% of these women cheat, and/or leave their husbands during deployment.

I have seen cases of wives meeting their husbands at the airport after 18 months in Iraq with divorce papers. Wives showing up with their new boyfriends or wives spending all the husbands money while they are gone.

The women these guys are marrying are trash and most get treated horribly by these women. There is no more of the "strong" wife standing by her man and serving the country. That **** went away after WW II and the feminist movement. These women say " how come I am second to the military?" , "He is always gone all the time" and the classic " My husband is too distant" , as an excuse to get lovers on the side while still living on their husbands payroll.

I can also personally atest to the face that the military is in no way a turn on for women. Every time I mention that I am in the Army, I get a weird look and horrible body language. I've gotten to the point where I just lie and say that I am a student at a local Uni and have had ALOT more success with that.

The only place where being in the Military is an advantage in any way in meeting women is in the South where the military culture is still present. Also, if a woman is really poor they sometimes latch on to military men in order to get the free health insurance the Government provides to dependents.

Being in the military is horrible for meeting girls. Girls ( especially in my area ) think of military as dumb, poor, ignorant, and very very low value.

That is the truth of it guys, so if anyone is thinking of joining the military, do not do it for the "glory" or the "women" because there simply is none.

Yep he nailed it on the head. I used to be in the military and most of the guys I knew got married at 18-19, divorced by 21-22-23. Its sad really. These guys are going out and busting their balls for our country and their wives can't stop themselves from being in another man's bed.

 

[Latinoman]

I have noticed this with almost every military guy I meet. They are all either in a long term relationship or are engaged/married. The trickiest thing is that most of their relationship started couple of months before they hit boot camp.

Now, I'm not the one to pass judgment, but I find this a little curious. What is going on here? Is it their status as soldiers that drives the woman they are with to stay through till the "bitter end"? Is it their aggressive nature (the bad boy persona) that keeps these woman interested?

You see, this situation is a little different than post-WWII era. WWII, heroes were made by the minute both in Europe and the Pacific. Relatively speaking, not many heroes are created in Iraq and Afghanistan today (RELATIVELY). Can we expect a smaller baby-boom once Iraq War ends (McCain can prevent this though )?

I personally think it's the whole status concept that plays a big factor here. Soldiers are brave and courageous enough to step into unknown territory with guys dressed as civilians and waiting to kill them. When the woman finds out that their man is joining the service with the possibility of getting shipped to war, the attraction level goes through the roof. They feel a sense of excitement and danger just by being with the soldier. They proudly show off their bf/husband to all of their girlfriends with the obvious grin that says, "My bf is such a bad boy". They mold and shape their future around their bf. "I will do x, and learn x, and buy x so that my soldier is happy".

Then of course we hear about the break ups and the heart aches. The cheating girlfriends/wives and their gold digging ways (refer to Latinoman's thread). It blows my mind how you can have two polar opposite type women with the military guys. Or maybe they start off being one way and end up as other...but then I'd be generalizing, and that's not my point.

This is just something curious I've noticed and thought I'd share. Maybe folks here have something to add. Remember, don't attack the messenger, attack the context.

Many men join the military out of necessity ($$$) and because they need to support a family and are trying to find a way out in order to provide a better life for their families.

Having said that, there are a lot of trailer trash and ghetto women married to our servicemen.

I for one believe that a man that fvcks the wife of a man serving in the War Zone should be punished by sending him to the War Zone too. That's how untouchable I view the wives of men serving in the War Zone.

 

[Latinoman]

Hahaha Omg this is complete BS.

I am in the military and can personally tell you, that most if not all soldiers get cheated on during deployment. Women constantly need attention and affirmation and 99% of these women cheat, and/or leave their husbands during deployment.

I have seen cases of wives meeting their husbands at the airport after 18 months in Iraq with divorce papers. Wives showing up with their new boyfriends or wives spending all the husbands money while they are gone.

The women these guys are marrying are trash and most get treated horribly by these women. There is no more of the "strong" wife standing by her man and serving the country. That **** went away after WW II and the feminist movement. These women say " how come I am second to the military?" , "He is always gone all the time" and the classic " My husband is too distant" , as an excuse to get lovers on the side while still living on their husbands payroll.

I can also personally atest to the face that the military is in no way a turn on for women. Every time I mention that I am in the Army, I get a weird look and horrible body language. I've gotten to the point where I just lie and say that I am a student at a local Uni and have had ALOT more success with that.

The only place where being in the Military is an advantage in any way in meeting women is in the South where the military culture is still present. Also, if a woman is really poor they sometimes latch on to military men in order to get the free health insurance the Government provides to dependents.

Being in the military is horrible for meeting girls. Girls ( especially in my area ) think of military as dumb, poor, ignorant, and very very low value.

That is the truth of it guys, so if anyone is thinking of joining the military, do not do it for the "glory" or the "women" because there simply is none.

I don't completely disagree with you...but there are a number of good women out there too. Not many...but some nevertheless. I think you are generalizing. But I can see your point.


Military Officers are viewed differently than Jr. Enlisted men. That's for sure.

 

[decades]

Hahaha Omg this is complete BS.

I am in the military and can personally tell you, that most if not all soldiers get cheated on during deployment. Women constantly need attention and affirmation and 99% of these women cheat, and/or leave their husbands during deployment.

I have seen cases of wives meeting their husbands at the airport after 18 months in Iraq with divorce papers. Wives showing up with their new boyfriends or wives spending all the husbands money while they are gone.

The women these guys are marrying are trash and most get treated horribly by these women. There is no more of the "strong" wife standing by her man and serving the country. That **** went away after WW II and the feminist movement. These women say " how come I am second to the military?" , "He is always gone all the time" and the classic " My husband is too distant" , as an excuse to get lovers on the side while still living on their husbands payroll.

I can also personally atest to the face that the military is in no way a turn on for women. Every time I mention that I am in the Army, I get a weird look and horrible body language. I've gotten to the point where I just lie and say that I am a student at a local Uni and have had ALOT more success with that.

The only place where being in the Military is an advantage in any way in meeting women is in the South where the military culture is still present. Also, if a woman is really poor they sometimes latch on to military men in order to get the free health insurance the Government provides to dependents.

Being in the military is horrible for meeting girls. Girls ( especially in my area ) think of military as dumb, poor, ignorant, and very very low value.

That is the truth of it guys, so if anyone is thinking of joining the military, do not do it for the "glory" or the "women" because there simply is none.

+1 he nailed it.

 

[KontrollerX]

Hahaha Omg this is complete BS.

I am in the military and can personally tell you, that most if not all soldiers get cheated on during deployment. Women constantly need attention and affirmation and 99% of these women cheat, and/or leave their husbands during deployment.

I have seen cases of wives meeting their husbands at the airport after 18 months in Iraq with divorce papers. Wives showing up with their new boyfriends or wives spending all the husbands money while they are gone.

The women these guys are marrying are trash and most get treated horribly by these women. There is no more of the "strong" wife standing by her man and serving the country. That **** went away after WW II and the feminist movement. These women say " how come I am second to the military?" , "He is always gone all the time" and the classic " My husband is too distant" , as an excuse to get lovers on the side while still living on their husbands payroll.

I can also personally atest to the face that the military is in no way a turn on for women. Every time I mention that I am in the Army, I get a weird look and horrible body language. I've gotten to the point where I just lie and say that I am a student at a local Uni and have had ALOT more success with that.

The only place where being in the Military is an advantage in any way in meeting women is in the South where the military culture is still present. Also, if a woman is really poor they sometimes latch on to military men in order to get the free health insurance the Government provides to dependents.

Being in the military is horrible for meeting girls. Girls ( especially in my area ) think of military as dumb, poor, ignorant, and very very low value.

That is the truth of it guys, so if anyone is thinking of joining the military, do not do it for the "glory" or the "women" because there simply is none.

Best most truest post I've read in a good long while.

If I could give you a standing ovation I would.

In anycase its definitely not a wise decision for a soldier to go into a relationship or a serious relationship or any kind of marriage until they are done with soldiering.

Until you are done with soldiering you should take the attitude of pump em and dump em because todays woman will not wait around for you to get back from the frontlines.

She will callously cheat on you just like in that movie Jarhead.

 

[Warrior74]

In anycase its definitely not a wise decision for a soldier to go into a relationship or a serious relationship or any kind of marriage until they are done with soldiering.

Until you are done with soldiering you should take the attitude of pump em and dump em because todays woman will not wait around for you to get back from the frontlines.

She will callously cheat on you just like in that movie Jarhead.

I have a friend who in the infantry (one tour in afganistan two in iraq and preparing for a third). He says the best thing he ever did was not get married before going in. He talks about how these women will be at the officers club in their slinkiest outfit days after their husbands have shipped out. Cheating is rampant, spousal abuse over cheating is rampant. He told me about going out into the desert to look for guys who never showed up for roll call, only to find them in the desert with a self inflicted gunshot wound to the head. Or the ones who get a dear john and just run into firefights because they don't care anymore. He's waiting till he gets out to try to find a wife.

 

[KontrollerX]

Damn thats horrible Warrior.

Yeah though its sadly not at all surprising these days.

Good decision by your buddy to wait.

 

[Warrior74]

Damn thats horrible Warrior.

Yeah though its sadly not at all surprising these days.

Good decision by your buddy to wait.

Yah. He's a good friend. We grew up together. He really opened my eyes to the realities of this war. Talk to an infantry soilder when you get a chance. Just sit down buy him a beer and listen to his stories. They have seen some things that you will never hear about on the news.

 

[judoguy]

Yea, I spent 2 years in the Infantry. I go to West Point now, to become an Officer.

Although the Officer thing gives you a little more value than enlisted you are looked as on the level of a low paid employed man.

I mean who would want to be with someone who was gone for 18 months at at time? Who would want to be with someone who moves around almost every 2 years?

I know I wouldnt.

I do have to say that I had a girlfriend for a little while, during the time I was in the Army and she never cheated on me that I know of.

 

[mrRuckus]

It makes you question why you should be in the military defending a country of women who really don't give a fvck about you.

I for one believe that a man that fvcks the wife of a man serving in the War Zone should be punished by sending him to the War Zone too. That's how untouchable I view the wives of men serving in the War Zone.

And what should happen to the women?

Stoning? I wouldn't be against it.



I work on a naval air base.

 

[Latinoman]

Yea, I spent 2 years in the Infantry. I go to West Point now, to become an Officer.

Although the Officer thing gives you a little more value than enlisted you are looked as on the level of a low paid employed man.

I mean who would want to be with someone who was gone for 18 months at at time? Who would want to be with someone who moves around almost every 2 years?

I know I wouldnt.

I do have to say that I had a girlfriend for a little while, during the time I was in the Army and she never cheated on me that I know of.

WEST POINT, ANAPOLIS, etc. are some of the most prestigious "Universities" out there. And continue to be.

 

[judoguy]

WEST POINT, ANAPOLIS, etc. are some of the most prestigious "Universities" out there. And continue to be.

Hb: So where do you go to school ?
Me: West Point
Hb : oh, where is that?


Girls only care about immediate status. Head guy at their college, dj at their favorite club, Amog of their social group etc.

Going on to bigger and better in society doesent mean **** to them.

 

[Latinoman]

Hb: So where do you go to school ?
Me: West Point
Hb : oh, where is that?


Girls only care about immediate status. Head guy at their college, dj at their favorite club, Amog of their social group etc.

Going on to bigger and better in society doesent mean **** to them.

Who cares what it means to them?

What matters is what it means to YOU and how it will help shape your future.

Women (other than your lifelong partner -wife- and your daughter) should not dictate or shape your life. Women should in fact be a by-product of your life path.

 

[wjh]

Who cares what it means to them?

What matters is what it means to YOU and how it will help shape your future.

Women (other than your lifelong partner -wife- and your daughter) should not dictate or shape your life. Women should in fact be a by-product of your life path.

Werd.

 

[Faded Image]

I'm in the Army.

Only in a non-military town will you find women whom act like that.

Here at Fort Bragg, NC, people don't care if you're in the Army or not because it's like 50,000 soldiers here.

In fact some women can't wait until their husbands leave so they can do some dirt.

When the 82nd Airborne Division began to deploy to Kuwait in 2002, women married to these soldiers where out at the club full force and boy were they horney.

 

[MatureDJ]

It seems to me that most men who do get married before getting shipped out marry a relatively unattractive woman. The reason for this is probably the same that people will pay a higher price for an inferior product at a convenience store - i.e., they need something quick.

Now as for the reason why there seems to be relatively high rate of marrying for these men, one reason has to be the mindset of buying into authority, which is at the cornerstone of military life. The ultimate act that any man can do to buy into the norms of society is to get married, so the two go hand in hand. Of course, for some men, it is not the authority that attracts them, but the sense of adventure. For these men, they would want to stay unhitched.

Another reason is that upon joining the military, a man feels a sense of confidence that he can take on responsibility (both emotionally and often times financially as well), so it is time for him to get married. This would also lead women to start thinking of him as marriage material, rather than just another Beavis & Butthead screwball, which improves his chances.

Yet another reason is that when a man takes on an adventure, he wants to feel landed in some way. While being in a situation in which it may be very difficult to get female attention, having the wife back at home to get E-mails is very important.

 

[penkitten]

Yet another reason is that when a man takes on an adventure, he wants to feel landed in some way. While being in a situation in which it may be very difficult to get female attention, having the wife back at home to get E-mails is very important.

are you saying that they need a "constant" to keep them in touch with their life back in the states? like an emotional outlet because they have to be so tough in the military and with war, that they need a place to express their softer side?

 

[Latinoman]

It seems to me that most men who do get married before getting shipped out marry a relatively unattractive woman. The reason for this is probably the same that people will pay a higher price for an inferior product at a convenience store - i.e., they need something quick.

Now as for the reason why there seems to be relatively high rate of marrying for these men, one reason has to be the mindset of buying into authority, which is at the cornerstone of military life. The ultimate act that any man can do to buy into the norms of society is to get married, so the two go hand in hand. Of course, for some men, it is not the authority that attracts them, but the sense of adventure. For these men, they would want to stay unhitched.

Another reason is that upon joining the military, a man feels a sense of confidence that he can take on responsibility (both emotionally and often times financially as well), so it is time for him to get married. This would also lead women to start thinking of him as marriage material, rather than just another Beavis & Butthead screwball, which improves his chances.

Yet another reason is that when a man takes on an adventure, he wants to feel landed in some way. While being in a situation in which it may be very difficult to get female attention, having the wife back at home to get E-mails is very important.

Actually...most of them marry very young...because they marry their High School sweethearts or whatever they call them.