Met server at bar, what to do?

[SoSerene]

Okay so I am new to approaching, flirting and all that even though I'm 26. Yes I know, don't give me too much of a hard time I've been trying to put myself out there the past few months lol.

About 2 months ago a buddy of mine and his friends were at this lounge/bar, the server was very cute and just my style. Not smoking hot or anything but a girl in my league for sure. She was being being very receptive and flirty (which doesn't necessarily mean anything I realize) and as we were leaving I had her isolated, she was flirting again so I asked her out. She immediately said that she had a boyfriend, and I wasn't sure what to say so I said okay no worries blah blah.

Fast forward to a few days ago, she's working at this same bar/lounge where me and my buddies went to. I wasn't sure if she recognized me (I later realized she did), but again we were flirting and hitting it off again...only her and me, she wasn't flirting with anyone else at the table. After we had paid I isolated her again, and asked how her boyfriend was and jokingly added "So when you guys getting married?" and she said they're moving in together!! lol. Ouch. Anyways I took the hint and didn't want to ask for her number again like last time, so I said I'd add her on facebook, asked for her last name which she tells me. Added her, next day she accepts.

Where do I go from here, if anywhere? She obviously has a series boyfriend, but she is a cool chick who I got along with that could be a useful friend/connection. I go to the place she works every 1-2 months so I will definitely see her in the future. Not sure if i should plan to hang out or just keep her on the backburner and only talk to her when I'm at her place of work. Thanks guys.

 

[Iceberg]

Ah, the dreaded server/bartender/girl-who-works-the-front-desk-at-my-gym situation:

- these girls are HIRED and TIPPED based off of how friendly they are
- every single one of us, myself included, has a waitress in their past who we thought was in love with us. (SPOILER ALERT: they weren't)

I'm not saying that you can never date a waitress. I'm just saying that a huge part of their job is flirting. Even if there are 5 guys at the table, and she's only talking to you.

So, the only thing you can go off of is - does this girl accept your date request? In your case, you got a flat-out rejection. So, the story ends there.

You can call it "Putting her on the backburner" if you want. But the point is, this girl has a 90% chance of being a lost cause, a 9% chance of being more work than she's worth, and give or take the 1% chance of you successfully snatching her from her boyfriend, and having a loving Happily Ever After with her.

Summary: Go hit the town with your buddies and find some new prospects. If you can chat up this girl, you can chat up some single girls.

 

[bigneil]

If you really hit it off with a server, they will let you know instantly. They will stare at you way too long, and the other girls working with her will know she likes you. She will give you her number and a kiss and agree to meet the next night (or soon after). She will show up for the date. Then you'll still have a hard time managing a girl working in that environment.