Met an amazing girl - think i have screwed up - PLEASE HELP

[takfer1]

Here you go echogaius...

http://theforbidden-zone.com/simpsons.shtml

 

[Krassus]

Originally posted by Krassus
Because she sees you as a FRIEND. Stop misinterpreting things. Your best bet is to talk to her about this situation and perhaps take a couple of months 'off' to get over her. During that time, find yourself another girl so that you can go back to being her friend if you like. I've been in that same exact situation and did that and it worked - i have no feelings for her and we're just friends.

This was posted in the wrong thread LOL

 

[SpikeMorrissey]

You know what
Im tepmted to call her saturday morning just to ask her what the problem is - whats to lose?

 

[SpikeMorrissey]

I will call her sat morning
Its obvious she aint interested
but for my own peace of mind I just want to find out what made her change her mind
is that so terrible?

 

[Krassus]

Ok, lets analyze this. Problem: she doesn't seem interested. Proposed solution: one of the top reasons girls tend to get even less interested. Rational? I don't think so. If i were you, i'd keep myself busy and keep my mind off her, then let her make the move. If she doesn't in another week, then you can try calling.

 

[takfer1]

Spikester...

Your right, I would call as well, its been a week. But dont ask what her problem is. Just act normal and see if she brings it up herself. Dont let on that you are upset about it all.

http://theforbidden-zone.com/simpsons.shtml

 

[SpikeMorrissey]

I am so angry I was tempted to ring her now - its 1am
I know its irrational but I feel like I have been treated like absolute dirt - she keeps changing her photos on her internet profile page so what is her bloody game???

Someone has either warned her off me in her family because I dont believe it is possible that someone can behave like this

What is wrong with me? - I have never ever felt so angry and bothered about a girl before

It is eating me up and I dont even care about the other girls interested in me. Am I unstable?

 

[icehot]

Dude,

I can almost guarantee you that if you call her, you'll be making a huge mistake. Your email cried out, "i'm a needy, insecure, desperate chump", now you're going to call her and act even more like a needy, clingy looser?

Like everybody has said "SHE NOT INTERESTED". Get it? Now suck it up and move on.

I once meet a girl at a club, she was great. Invited me to her house, made me dinner and we had crazy sex.

A few days later, I gave her a call and she acted like she didn't even know me. NEXT!

You're never going to figure out what happened.

Time to move on.


-iceH

 

[echo1212]

Unfortanetly, Takfer1 is all wrong on this subject, and also suffers from a severe case of oneitis with a young swedish boy named Johansann.

Well, if you never want to see her again, call her. If you still want to..wait for her to contact you. Simple as that.

 

[echo1212]

-

 

[SpikeMorrissey]

UPDATE

UPDATE

Well I rang her up this afternoon and well it basically confirmed what I thought - she is an utter attention seeking *****. She basically said It was a bit of fun and that was that and she didnt want anything more. I said to her that I didnt expect that having spent the whole weekend together and all the things we did together but she made out that was just perfectly normal.

Oh well.

LESSONS LEARNT:

Never ever put a woman on a pedestal
If a girl doesnt return a call within 2 days then nothing will ever happen.

 

[k_hectic]

Yeah, the good thing is you learnt a lesson from that call and put her off your mind. Now, don't spend time obsessing about her any further or we'll come and beat you!

In any case, I understand what you said about wanting to find a girl who you deeply connect with and fall in love.

Man, if you do find such a girl you cannot know that in one date or two or even three.

You need to see her, but keep playing hard with her while dating others and have HER prove to you that she's worth a relationship with you. You make her obsess about you instead of the other way around. After two months or more has passed, if she proved to be worthy, you may stop dating others and officially start a relationship, BUT, you must stay COOL at all time. DO NOT WUSSY UP or you'll lose it again. Girls like a guy in control of his emotions and their situation. They don't like it when he melts all over them. Get it!

 

[takfer1]

Spike??

"That I considered really odd as I am only 29 and her daughter <the one I like> is 24."

Maybe she is not 24?? I saw her pic, (echo sent it to me), and she looks like she could be younger than 24. Maybe she lied about her age over the internet and is really only 18-20 and actually IS scared off by your age. If so, just move on. There is nothing you can do.

 

[echo1212]

Well spike, what can I say. Don't take it personally. Looking back it seems as though she never said she wanted a relationship or a boyfriend. Just a little fun it seems. And ya know, really....there is nothing wrong with that. If a guy did that to a girl we'd all be saying that the guy didn't owe her anything-it was just pure fun. One weekend does not a relationship make. It was probably the fact you lived so far away, or as my gay brother Takfer1 said, perhaps she was younger than she really said. Hence the comment from her mother.

Regardless, look at it as a weekend that you will never forget, and you experienced something that many people NEVER do, time spent with someone you truely connected with. Yes, I am audtioning for Hallmark card writing. Good luck in the future and remember this lesson, don't get too hung up on anyone so quickly, it almost never works out.

 

[Satan Psycho]

First Date - Interest Level: 100%

Originally posted by SpikeMorrissey

Anyway I got a train back to London that evening and there was no contact between us until Monday evening when I rung her and left a voicemail saying 'Just ringing to see how your first day in your new job went and to talk to you as well.

Interest Level: 70 - 80%

Dude, you gotta keep playing the game until you've laid her. Ever notice how much easier it is to keep a girl after you've laid her.

She didnt respond. I was going out of my mind and well this might sound AFCish but I sent this email because I just wanted to know where I stand :

'I'm just writing this because I left you a voicemail on Monday evening as I wanted to find out how your first day in the new job went and to talk as well. I remember you saying at the weekend that you sometimes have problems with your phone so maybe you didn't receive it.

If you did and you don't want to keep in contact then I would just appreciate a reason why because I had such fun at the weekend and I want to get to know you more. Basically I want to see you again.'

Interst Level: 15 - 30%

Since when do chicks honestly tell you where you stand? This is AFC behavior to the fullest extent.

She wrote back an hour or so later saying this :

'sorry haven't been in touch earlier. monday and tuesday night i went to bed ridiculously early - still haven't recovered from the weekend i think...
anyway, the job is going really well, thanks for asking. i've been manchester today, going again tomorrow and then next week i'm off to the lake district - we seem to do more drinking coffee and chatting than anything that could be considered work but the money's good so i'm not complaining!
heard you bumped into my mum on msn the other day, bet that was fun... '

Now I don't know what the hell to make of this.

Translation from ******** to English:

I was not in touch with you earlier because Cosmo and Sassy advise against it. Now I'm finding out what kind of man you really are and I'm sooo glad I didn't lower my market value by giving up my sweet, sweet pussy to you.
I'm getting stalker vibes from you so I'll just tell you what a big stud you are and let you be happy with that. Now let me change the subject and bore you with a mind-numbing anticdote about my job. This should get the message to you that we will never be having sex.
And BTW, Mumsy, my sisters and I have all been talking in detail and making jokes about what an old, sick, creepy, pervert stalker you are.

If it was just a bit of fun for her then I think my email gave her the opportunity to tell me that. I like to think I show bollocks in everything I do, thats why I laid it on the line about wanting to see her again. I know all about challenge etc but bear in mind she lives 200 miles away and the only way we could see each other would be at the weekend therefore once a week at most, I thought it would be right to lay it on the line - after all everytime she goes out she has men coming up to her.

You thought. YOU THOUGHT!?! You just decided to go against every bit of advise that got you here and now you have to learn the hard way.

Have I screwed up and what the hell is she saying to me. The reply totally ignores my question and is like something she would right to a girlfriend. Do I take it as a NEXT and ignore her or is she telling me I have to work for her?
PLEASE HELP

But then you decide to finish off any chance you could have had for another 'get together' and almost definitely sex:

UPDATE

Well I rang her up this afternoon and well it basically confirmed what I thought - she is an utter attention seeking *****. She basically said It was a bit of fun and that was that and she didnt want anything more. I said to her that I didnt expect that having spent the whole weekend together and all the things we did together but she made out that was just perfectly normal.

Oh well.

LESSONS LEARNT:

Never ever put a woman on a pedestal
If a girl doesnt return a call within 2 days then nothing will ever happen.

Perhaps another lesson you should learn is to follow the biggest rule of DJing before you come asking why your AFC tactics didn't work.

Dude, you could have at least eventually nailed this chick. AT LEAST. But neeeuuuuuaaauuu, you had to go against all the knowledge from this site and go act all needy!?! Why? Because you thought it showed 'bollocks'? Do you honestly think she found that ballsy? Having 'bollocks' would be to act confident in own worthiness not need to 'find out where you stand' and cling to her.


Interest level: 0%

Nice work Don Juan.

 

[JustDoItAlways]

Just wanted to note something that has been "proven" many times before on this board.

She got in bed with you, naked, and then gave you the usual BS "not tonight" that chicks always say for the first time. You, of course, thought she was serious about what she said. Why? Because you're a nice guy.

The fact is that if you don't push up on her when she's making it very easy for you, it can often be the last time.

There's something about this situation (if you "respect her wishes" and don't put the moves on her) that just really turns chicks off. And I mean totally off. They can't explain it but it has been "case studied" on this board hundreds of times.

Think about it.

If you would have fvcked her in her parents house that night, with all the excitement that surrounds that for a young girl, do you think her reaction would be the same today?

Nope, you'd be nailing her all over again tonight.

 

[Krassus]

Originally posted by JustDoItAlways
Just wanted to note something that has been "proven" many times before on this board.

She got in bed with you, naked, and then gave you the usual BS "not tonight" that chicks always say for the first time. You, of course, thought she was serious about what she said. Why? Because you're a nice guy.

The fact is that if you don't push up on her when she's making it very easy for you, it can often be the last time.

There's something about this situation (if you "respect her wishes" and don't put the moves on her) that just really turns chicks off. And I mean totally off. They can't explain it but it has been "case studied" on this board hundreds of times.

Think about it.

If you would have fvcked her in her parents house that night, with all the excitement that surrounds that for a young girl, do you think her reaction would be the same today?

Nope, you'd be nailing her all over again tonight.

The man's got a point. I think there's another thread up right now about 'sleeping naked' with a girl but not fvcking her. It boggles my mind. WHY THE HELL DO YOU THINK SHE UNDRESSED AND GOT IN BED WITH YOU?!

 

[SpikeMorrissey]

I have to disagree
In my book if a girl says no that means no

 

[bp1974]

This is difficult, because you end up in that fine line between being persistent, and risking accusations of date rape. The truth is, if you give up after one 'No', most girls will label you as not worthy of sleeping with, but if you push for at least three 'No's before giving up, you lay yourself open to false accusations.

Three times with different girls I've accepted their first 'No', and in every case they never got into bed with me again. Now I treat any girl who'll get naked and into bed with me, but say 'no' to sex, as a big red flag. Just like your girl turned out to be.