So I was out last night at a bar and ended up talking to a very attractive woman who I hit it off well with. I found out that we are the same age (she mentioned her age first in the middle of the conversation) and we have several of the same interests (again, she mentioned many of the interests first so she wasn't just matching what I said). To make a long story short, we ended up dancing for a couple of hours and getting physical on the dance floor. She gave me her number and told me to call her but the only problem is that I found out that she is divorced with 3 kids ages 8, 10 and 11 (she is 30 years old like me). I did learn that the father lives in another state so that wouldn't be a problem but I normally have aproblem with a woman having 1 kid let alone 3. I almost definitely don't want anything long term with her and I'm even hesitant to hook up with her though I'm very physically attracted to her because it just seems too risky. Should I just forget about her or hook up with her a couple of times and then forget about her? Normally it would seem to be a no-brainer but I was really attracted to this woman.
Met a woman with 3 kids
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Francisco d'Anconia
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Life's a ***** when your libido's in control...
MatureDJ
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This chick is only 1 more kid away from being another WyldCougar. LOL!
If she is as hot as you say, I'd say to go for it, but always think of her as a fûck buddy. Use a condom, even if she says that she is "protected". And if she withdraws from sex, just think of it as the gravy train is running dry, and don't think of it. If she gives you the "where is this going?" line, say that you could not consider marrying a woman laden with children.
If she is as hot as you say, I'd say to go for it, but always think of her as a fûck buddy. Use a condom, even if she says that she is "protected". And if she withdraws from sex, just think of it as the gravy train is running dry, and don't think of it. If she gives you the "where is this going?" line, say that you could not consider marrying a woman laden with children.
Metro3pilot
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Hmmm ......
I am in the same boat ..... tapping a woman with 3 kids ....
the dad is in the picture ( watches the kids and stuff ) I consider this good since it means she aint looking for a daddy for the kids ... I don't need to lend her money and all that fun **** ...
the sex is good and she is fun to be around .... I don't know about the long term ..... we'll see
The main problem I see with dating women with kids .... their time is limited, very limited .....
go in with an open mind, you will figure out quickly what she wants ...
:rockon:
I am in the same boat ..... tapping a woman with 3 kids ....
the dad is in the picture ( watches the kids and stuff ) I consider this good since it means she aint looking for a daddy for the kids ... I don't need to lend her money and all that fun **** ...
the sex is good and she is fun to be around .... I don't know about the long term ..... we'll see
The main problem I see with dating women with kids .... their time is limited, very limited .....
go in with an open mind, you will figure out quickly what she wants ...
:rockon:
the time limited aspect is actually why some guys actually consider doing a mommy. subconsciously they figure - this is perfect. shes got her hands full. our time together is limited. so i pop over ont he weekend, bang mommy and then back to my life.
not only that, its pretty much a given that she's only goign to have time for one man in her life, which gives the guy even more control. and because she basically has three anchors around her that most men would run from, the guy figures 'booya. im going to get laid really good now, cuz im being mister ultra super nice guy.'
the only problem with it is that mommies are fine until the relationship hits any kind of bump in the road and she gets upset. because when she gets upset, she has to take her own emotional state into consideration with regards to her kids.
which means, ironically, that you end up having to make sure she doesn't get upset or she will end it - which puts the control back in her court.
and i dont care if she's single, a mommy, or your two panty granny - all women who are sleeping with a man eventually will want more. so you can rationale tapping that mommy *ss right now, but in 6 months from now, trust me, its going to be a whole different world.
personally i dont do mommies because i always think to myself 'if this chic loses it at some point because im not prepared to commit, its the kids who are going to have to live with her.'
not my style to mess with the most important thing in a kids world just to get my rocks off.
but if you are prepared to possibly be a mainstay in these kids lives should things work out with mommy, thats a different story.
i have no desire for my hard earned money to go towards raising someone elses kids. and you better believe thats where this situation ends up in the end.
perhaps a cold hearted thing to say, but at least its honest.
not only that, its pretty much a given that she's only goign to have time for one man in her life, which gives the guy even more control. and because she basically has three anchors around her that most men would run from, the guy figures 'booya. im going to get laid really good now, cuz im being mister ultra super nice guy.'
the only problem with it is that mommies are fine until the relationship hits any kind of bump in the road and she gets upset. because when she gets upset, she has to take her own emotional state into consideration with regards to her kids.
which means, ironically, that you end up having to make sure she doesn't get upset or she will end it - which puts the control back in her court.
and i dont care if she's single, a mommy, or your two panty granny - all women who are sleeping with a man eventually will want more. so you can rationale tapping that mommy *ss right now, but in 6 months from now, trust me, its going to be a whole different world.
personally i dont do mommies because i always think to myself 'if this chic loses it at some point because im not prepared to commit, its the kids who are going to have to live with her.'
not my style to mess with the most important thing in a kids world just to get my rocks off.
but if you are prepared to possibly be a mainstay in these kids lives should things work out with mommy, thats a different story.
i have no desire for my hard earned money to go towards raising someone elses kids. and you better believe thats where this situation ends up in the end.
perhaps a cold hearted thing to say, but at least its honest.
Metro3pilot
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Damn I never thought of it that way .... and I tapped a few mommies ...
damn good point though ! ! !
:rockon:
This problematic on so many levels.
First: Single mommies are deceptively hard to deal with . There are many complexities when you are dealing with kids. Why make it hard on yourself, complicate your life unnecessarily? Simplify simplify simplify.
Second: Who else are you dating/fvcking? Are you allowing some desperation to cloud your judgment? Granted, we all cant’ be dating 4 hot 20 something’s all the time, and therefore never even consider a single mommy. But, we need to be able to endure some down-time or a dry spell without making bad decisions on who we date.
Third: You can do better than this. Don’t settle. Make a plan, approach more women, or even de-emphasize women for a while and work on yourself and what you want.
First: Single mommies are deceptively hard to deal with . There are many complexities when you are dealing with kids. Why make it hard on yourself, complicate your life unnecessarily? Simplify simplify simplify.
Second: Who else are you dating/fvcking? Are you allowing some desperation to cloud your judgment? Granted, we all cant’ be dating 4 hot 20 something’s all the time, and therefore never even consider a single mommy. But, we need to be able to endure some down-time or a dry spell without making bad decisions on who we date.
Third: You can do better than this. Don’t settle. Make a plan, approach more women, or even de-emphasize women for a while and work on yourself and what you want.
I'm willing to bet that both guys dealing with mom with 3 kids are going (or are already) fall hard for them.
Make no mistake about one thing...if kids are relatively young...and you are a nice man. What she is doing is looking for somebody to help her raise them.
Don't ask us what you should do. As long as you understand what you are getting into. And one thing is for sure...you will NEVER be #1,
Make no mistake about one thing...if kids are relatively young...and you are a nice man. What she is doing is looking for somebody to help her raise them.
Don't ask us what you should do. As long as you understand what you are getting into. And one thing is for sure...you will NEVER be #1,
jophil28
Master Don Juan
There is another aspect to dating/fvcking single mothers. It goes like this -
It appears that when their marriages break up they find comfort and support thru their girlfriends and sisters and so on. THis situation results in a kind of dependency . The sisters/ girlfriends can then become very baitchy toward you ( they resent you - you are seen as an intruder into their precious little all-girl world). Your 'girlfriend' then starts "slicing' herself into small pieces and you get a small slice of her -the size of which HAS to meet with the approval of the girly clan. You wind up in a kind of part time relationship with her which constantly is challenged and undermined by the other femmes who resent your presence and the time that you spend with your G/friend.
I have been through this shyte three time in ten years. Bad deal.
It appears that when their marriages break up they find comfort and support thru their girlfriends and sisters and so on. THis situation results in a kind of dependency . The sisters/ girlfriends can then become very baitchy toward you ( they resent you - you are seen as an intruder into their precious little all-girl world). Your 'girlfriend' then starts "slicing' herself into small pieces and you get a small slice of her -the size of which HAS to meet with the approval of the girly clan. You wind up in a kind of part time relationship with her which constantly is challenged and undermined by the other femmes who resent your presence and the time that you spend with your G/friend.
I have been through this shyte three time in ten years. Bad deal.
Victory Unlimited
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Great post, Jophil.
What you just said is a textbook case of the old "misery loves company" mindset that permeates so many people's "friend" relationships. It's much like crabs in a barrel.
Rather than see "their girl" find her someone new, her fake-ass, bitter-ass friends would rather put their foots on her neck than give her a boost towards what COULD be a more positive season in her life.
Been in THAT situation myself a few times with some single moms. But if I had to be TOTALLY honest, I'd also have to admit that ANY woman from my past who let her "friends" talk her out of getting closer with me probably had LOW interest in me anyway...
...I was probably just too blind to see it at the time.
What you just said is a textbook case of the old "misery loves company" mindset that permeates so many people's "friend" relationships. It's much like crabs in a barrel.
Rather than see "their girl" find her someone new, her fake-ass, bitter-ass friends would rather put their foots on her neck than give her a boost towards what COULD be a more positive season in her life.
Been in THAT situation myself a few times with some single moms. But if I had to be TOTALLY honest, I'd also have to admit that ANY woman from my past who let her "friends" talk her out of getting closer with me probably had LOW interest in me anyway...
...I was probably just too blind to see it at the time.
Well, I decided to hook up with her and I'm glad I did. For the past week I've been having some of the best sex of my life. I knew that older women, especially milfs, could be wild but this one takes the cake. She also likes sex in public places which is another bonus and we did it in a gas station bathroom the other day. I don't know if I could make her my gf but she is fun to fool around with.
heh... as threads asking for advice always go....
"thanx guys, I hear you and your warnings and will take it all into account, but I will continue to act as it seems right to me" (and continue doing what absolutely everybody is telling me not to..)
Ain´t we always that much smarter then all the rest of the pack, m?
"thanx guys, I hear you and your warnings and will take it all into account, but I will continue to act as it seems right to me" (and continue doing what absolutely everybody is telling me not to..)
Ain´t we always that much smarter then all the rest of the pack, m?
I'm making sure to wear protection whenever I hook up with her so I don't see what the big deal is. Also, not everyone was telling me to not hook up with her. Most of the responses advised me to just be cautious and that is what I'm doing. If/when I sense that she wants more, I'll just explain that I'm not looking for something serious with someone who already has kids. Then I'll run as fast as I can out the door before she has the chance to hit me or throw something at me. 
Speaking from experience: Be careful, for her sake as well as yours.
For her sake: She isn't dating around as much partly because she doesn't have time to, and partly because a lot of men stay away because of the kids. So you're more likely to be the only man in her life. So guess what her mind will go to after she puts her kids to bed? You will be. She will likely fall faster for you.
For your sake: If you end up becoming serious and commiting to her (which could happen if you spend a lot of time together) you'll probably be sacrificing a lot more than she will be. A relationship is about supporting each other in your day-to-day lives, and to do that you'll eventually be significantly involved with someone else's kids, who already have a dad who probably doesn't wish you well.
I can only use my own experience here. I dated a wonderful woman with two small kids. (In case anyone is wondering, she works hard, supports herself, and has her life in order--she works during the day to support her family and who is going to graduate school at night.) We had agreed at the beginning to keep things casual but we ended up becoming more serious anyway (we both fell for each other). We always had a great time around each other, and she has a lot of great qualities, so it just happened. However, our relationship didnt work out--our long-term goals were different as I hinted in the above paragraph. And that hurt a lot on both of our ends. She was a terrific girlfriend.
My point is that if you're not careful you might find yourself between committing yourself to a life that you're not sure you're ready for, and ending a relationship with someone you really care about.
For her sake: She isn't dating around as much partly because she doesn't have time to, and partly because a lot of men stay away because of the kids. So you're more likely to be the only man in her life. So guess what her mind will go to after she puts her kids to bed? You will be. She will likely fall faster for you.
For your sake: If you end up becoming serious and commiting to her (which could happen if you spend a lot of time together) you'll probably be sacrificing a lot more than she will be. A relationship is about supporting each other in your day-to-day lives, and to do that you'll eventually be significantly involved with someone else's kids, who already have a dad who probably doesn't wish you well.
I can only use my own experience here. I dated a wonderful woman with two small kids. (In case anyone is wondering, she works hard, supports herself, and has her life in order--she works during the day to support her family and who is going to graduate school at night.) We had agreed at the beginning to keep things casual but we ended up becoming more serious anyway (we both fell for each other). We always had a great time around each other, and she has a lot of great qualities, so it just happened. However, our relationship didnt work out--our long-term goals were different as I hinted in the above paragraph. And that hurt a lot on both of our ends. She was a terrific girlfriend.
My point is that if you're not careful you might find yourself between committing yourself to a life that you're not sure you're ready for, and ending a relationship with someone you really care about.
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Hitman10000
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Adding on #17's comment. Women who typically have had bad luck dating will tend to leech on to the best guy she has found so far. A buddy of mines, successful. Makes six figures, he married some bankrupt girl who had a bad family history and has been raped as we. Why? "She's outgoing and is direct" What a loser, he could've done better but decided to play "Captain Save a Ho" , However she leeched on to him, making him into a king...then when they got married he finally told me "Man, she's a lot more boring now, the sex isn't that frequent and she feels differently about having lots of kids when she doesn't want any now"
You see folks? SCAM. If you're gonna go for a chick, go for a chick that complements your personality at the very least.
You see folks? SCAM. If you're gonna go for a chick, go for a chick that complements your personality at the very least.
Last Man Standing
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She is a hor with children -- pimp the hor and do NOT get emotional!!! Hors rather be pimped than loved, because this is The Natural Order Of Things!!!!
So to answer your question, hook up with her if you really want to (women love wild hot sex just as much as we do), but don't hook up with her too often! Otherwise, at least one of you will end up wanting more...steve76 said:
Treat her as a human being too. She deserves respect as much as anyone else. If she's giving off the vibe that she wants a relationship and you don't want that, then don't get involved.
the "mother of three" did him in the bathroom of a gas station. she aint no prize (water seeks its own level). don't get caught up in "for her sake" thinking, or you will get trapped by save a ho mentality. Think. They met in a Bar and four days later the mother of three is doing him in public bathrooms. Think. Does this sound like a monogamous woman? All she has to do to have a new man in her life is go down to the bar, no? Somehow I doubt he is the "only man in her life". Learn to take them Down off the pedestal. That means you have to Unlearn what you learned from Mom and Dad.##17 said:
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Careful this is what "Mom" would say. I doubt its bad luck. I bet its bad choices. The problem is SHE DOESN"T leech on to the best guy she has found so far. History suggests just the opposite.Hitman10000 said:
