Met a real nice girl... to DJ or not to DJ, that is the question!

[Papo 12]

I'm 25. Met a nice girl who's 22. Independent, makes her own money, lives on her own (with a roomate), smart, sexy, and good hearted. Comes from a good family, was raised "very" Christian although she herself views it more traditionally now and not so orthodox. She's no bible banger, thank god!

I like this girl. We always have a great tine when out. Been seing her for a month or so, haven't had sex or anything (yet) but we do get hot and heavy time to time.

Regardless, I find myself in conflict with the ways of DJing and being somewhat genuine. I find myself keeping myself in check so I don't go overboard with this girl and come on too weak or chumpish.

So what do you guys do when you meet a girl that you actually like and she actually likes you? How do you balance using DJ tactics/mindset while at the same time being "genuine".

It's hard to explain, but hopefully you guys get what I'm trying to say.

And also, any tips from your experiences on how to keep momentum going?

Thanks all. Great site.

 

[ecko280]

To me there is no difference. You need to be a MAN, lead, and make a move. If she actually likes you, then she will follow.

So keep inviting her on dates and keep making moves. Remember the 2 strikes rules.

 

[zekko]

DJ skills, game, etc. may not seem genuine to you yet, but that's because it's counterintuitive. Playing an F chord on the guitar feels weird at first, too, but do you think Eric Clapton thinks about that anymore?

I agree with you, and it's a nice analogy. But I do think there ARE some elements of game that can be kind of fake. I can give some examples if you need them, but I don't want to sidetrack the point.

I could be wrong, but it sounds like Papo is saying he'd like to try a relationship with this girl. Of course he's young, and it's early, but she sounds like a nice girl and I don't really have a problem with it if that's what he wants. I say this because I know most regulars will come on here and skin him alive for getting caught up with one girl when they haven't even had sex yet. But I think there are things a young guy can learn from being in a relationship. Just don't get carried away and get married or something crazy. Spin some plates, try dating one girl for awhile, try everything, it's all a learning experience.

I think it's okay to be more genuine with someone you care about, as long as you're not coming off weak and chumpish, and realize what can happen. Sounds like the OP is aware of at least some of the pitfalls, so that's good.

Just remember Papo, make the girl have the relationship talk with you, don't bring it up yourself.

 

[Papo 12]

I agree with you, and it's a nice analogy. But I do think there ARE some elements of game that can be kind of fake. I can give some examples if you need them, but I don't want to sidetrack the point.

I could be wrong, but it sounds like Papo is saying he'd like to try a relationship with this girl. Of course he's young, and it's early, but she sounds like a nice girl and I don't really have a problem with it if that's what he wants. I say this because I know most regulars will come on here and skin him alive for getting caught up with one girl when they haven't even had sex yet. But I think there are things a young guy can learn from being in a relationship. Just don't get carried away and get married or something crazy. Spin some plates, try dating one girl for awhile, try everything, it's all a learning experience.

I think it's okay to be more genuine with someone you care about, as long as you're not coming off weak and chumpish, and realize what can happen. Sounds like the OP is aware of at least some of the pitfalls, so that's good.

Just remember Papo, make the girl have the relationship talk with you, don't bring it up yourself.

Thanks man. I'm aware of the pitfalls believe me I've been through it all. I just like this girl, she seems genuine and I just gotta keep my DJ inner game yet somehow be real with her and not come off too distant.

It's a funny balance when you meet a genuine girl.

 

[Radharc]

The problem with being "genuine" is if through that you give her the idea that you care too much too soon, you stop being a challenge and she might lose interest.
Still, in general as long as you don´t come off as needy and show her that you have boundaries you should be ok.

 

[jophil28]

Thanks man. I'm aware of the pitfalls believe me I've been through it all. I just like this girl, she seems genuine and I just gotta keep my DJ inner game yet somehow be real with her and not come off too distant.

It's a funny balance when you meet a genuine girl.

It seems that you still host an inner belief that too much masculinity is negative and that you need to keep natural expressions of manly dominant behavior in check .
The problem is that you risk your connection with this girl coming to a halt because you are not pushing down on the gas
BY all means go slow, BUT keep moving the wagon forward.

 

[scrouds]

"So what do you guys do when you meet a girl that you actually like and she actually likes you?"

F*ck.

If not now, in a bit. I wouldn't wait a month.

 

[Boilermaker]

Don Juanism is a mindset, it's not mere tactics to score chicks.

It is a philosophy that is built on the premise that women and men are different. Ergo, you don't turn it on and off as you interact with different women. It is always on. It is not a set of dogmas, and there's always room for your personality. In short, be yourself! BUT watch your critical meters. Don't overlook flaky behavior, don't be abused and don't be oversensitive.

Not sure who's more whimsical these days .. men or women?

 

[dj_china]

DJ
obviously

 

[sodbuster]

Seems to be some misunderstanding here... you asked about DJ. That is a lifestyle-you are who you are,you are going somewhere in life,she can come along as long as she behaves;if she doesn't,she can be replaced tomorrow. You don't need a woman, you Want one[or not]. Sex is a big part of a relationship and a healthy measure of her interest in the relationship.

A PUA only CARES about sex....it's his measure of self worth as a man. He's being fake to "get some". Many times, has nothing else going on in his life. NOT conducive to a healthy relationship

Her being Christian is a good thing. IF it turns into a real relationship, it will keep her from running around on you[as much as anything can...hell they STONE adulteresses in Muslim countries,but they still cheat and get stoned to death]

 

[scribblec]

dont make the mistake of being non dj just because you value her higher then other girls... it always ends bad