"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Met a HOT woman online tonight

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I managed to get this smokin' hot foreign exchange student from a free dating site to give me her cell and we talked for over an hour tonight. We live close and she wants to meet me for coffee. I tried for tomorrow but that was "too soon" because she had a bad experience with an AFC and she is hesitant to meet me.

So we had a great conversation but I didn't want to push for the coffee date because I can tell she is scared. So instead of pushing for a different day and sounding desperate I just left it open and was like "talk to you later".

How should I proceed with this? Call her tomorrow and talk some more? No contact for a couple days?

Thanks for any advice. If I can score this one I will be a happy man.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Mr. Wolf

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Sounds like she's an attention wh0re who loves to chat on the phone.


Keep your conversations small, only to setup something. Tell her you'll be at that place (coffee) tomorrow, if she wants to meet you she could come.


She says it's too soon and she needs more time. Tell her you understand. Tell her, you gotta go now and meet with somebody, and you'll two talk again later. Bye.. Then you call her in two weeks and do the same thing.


Talking more to her when she says she need more time because she has an experience with this boy is like saying, I'm just like that guy that you have that bad experience with. Clingy fvck.


By the way. Here is David DeAngelo thing. When she complains about a man, such as that guy. Tell her, hey baby, I'm the same way too. Change subject. She complains more or says BUT, tell her, hahaha, all men are like this, you're not familiar with men, are you?... This is not to be confused with saying "I'm the same as that guy" through your actions, like above.


Give it two days and give her a call.. Post link to that free dating site here.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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My Name is Nobody said:
I managed to get this smokin' hot foreign exchange student from a free dating site to give me her cell and we talked for over an hour tonight. We live close and she wants to meet me for coffee. I tried for tomorrow but that was "too soon" because she had a bad experience with an AFC and she is hesitant to meet me.
I'd give her just a couple (2) more interactions to agree to a meeting before nexting her or at least putting her on the back burner. She's either not interested or she has unresolved issues based on past experiences. Personally, I don't give much effort toward women who are afraid to meet someone new or don't have the capacity to recognize a "good guy." Also, there is the chance of you just rushing things again without getting to that mutually comfortable place with you.
My Name is Nobody said:
So we had a great conversation but I didn't want to push for the coffee date because I can tell she is scared. So instead of pushing for a different day and sounding desperate I just left it open and was like "talk to you later".
Whoa, didn't you just say, "We live close and she wants to meet me for coffee. I tried for tomorrow but that was "too soon" because she had a bad experience with an AFC and she is hesitant to meet me." Which is it? Did you or did you not try to set up a meeting with her?
My Name is Nobody said:
How should I proceed with this? Call her tomorrow and talk some more? No contact for a couple days?
Slow down. No need to carpet bomb her but don't feel that you have to follow some "3-whatever" type rules. Aren't there any other women in your rotation that you can touch base with today and get back with this one tomorrow? It's called a "rotation" for a reason. :up:
 
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Thanks for the advice guys. I will give it a few days before calling her again and try for something this weekend.

The site is plentyoffish.com

I found that site from somebody's thread on here. I just got another girls # off there too. That site is pretty good.

Francisco d'Anconia said:
Whoa, didn't you just say, "We live close and she wants to meet me for coffee. I tried for tomorrow but that was "too soon" because she had a bad experience with an AFC and she is hesitant to meet me." Which is it? Did you or did you not try to set up a meeting with her?
Yes, I asked her for coffee, and she said we can meet at Starbucks. But she said today was too soon because of her bad experience with the AFC and I didn't push it. She wants to get to know me first I suppose which is fine. I just wanted to strike while the iron is hot. I have her cell # so I can call her later to ask her out again.. I'll do it later this week I guess.


Francisco d'Anconia said:
Aren't there any other women in your rotation that you can touch base with today and get back with this one tomorrow? It's called a "rotation" for a reason
Sadly, no. That other exotic woman I was telling you about isn't going well at all right now. I think she is pretty messed up from her divorce. I talked to her this weekend but she just sits in her apartment and mopes (so she says). She wants to be my text message pen pal and I'm not having it anymore. No more contact for that woman this week. Maybe not giving her any attention for a week does the trick. I will pull a page from your play book Francisco and make her "earn" her way back into my life.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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My Name is Nobody said:
...Yes, I asked her for coffee, and she said we can meet at Starbucks. But she said today was too soon because of her bad experience with the AFC and I didn't push it. She wants to get to know me first I suppose which is fine. I just wanted to strike while the iron is hot. I have her cell # so I can call her later to ask her out again.. I'll do it later this week I guess.
Just be careful in not letting her create an imaginary online romance with you. Do what you can to make her want to meet you by having a charismatic personality without using any pressure. Just keep in the back of your mind that you are competing with her past experiences.
My Name is Nobody said:
...
Sadly, no. That other exotic woman I was telling you about isn't going well at all right now. I think she is pretty messed up from her divorce. I talked to her this weekend but she just sits in her apartment and mopes (so she says). She wants to be my text message pen pal and I'm not having it anymore. No more contact for that woman this week. Maybe not giving her any attention for a week does the trick. I will pull a page from your play book Francisco and make her "earn" her way back into my life.
Keep sarging, get more plates, act as if you don't know that this last one even exists. Consider this mindset, until the two of you actually meet, she doesn't really exist. Don't act as if she's actually a part of your life, she's not.

Send the divorcee down to the minors to perfect her game and start scouting for other players. That should keep you busy so that you don't focus solely on this latest "non-existent" woman.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Francisco d'Anconia said:
Just be careful in not letting her create an imaginary online romance with you. Do what you can to make her want to meet you by having a charismatic personality without using any pressure. Just keep in the back of your mind that you are competing with her past experiences.

Keep sarging, get more plates, act as if you don't know that this last one even exists. Consider this mindset, until the two of you actually meet, she doesn't really exist. Don't act as if she's actually a part of your life, she's not.

Send the divorcee down to the minors to perfect her game and start scouting for other players. That should keep you busy so that you don't focus solely on this latest "non-existent" woman.

Thanks for the great post Francisco. Have you written a book yet? I'll buy it.

I sent her a funny text message this afternoon and I just got a "good night....." text from her a few minutes ago so I think that's a great sign. It took her all day to reply but I think it may have been a sh1t test to see if I would panic and light up her cell phone 10 times in a row like an AFC would do.

I didn't reply to her text tonight, I may send her one tomorrow or may not. I need to keep her guessing because I know she has a line of AFC's sending her emails and maybe texts. She said she hasn't given her # out to anyone but me since the bad experience with the AFC.

If I play my cards right I think I can get a date with this girl soon. This girl would make me forget ALL about any other woman especially the divorcee!

Any advice on seducing a peruvian hottie who has only been in the country for a short time and is still learning English?

DAMN I wish I had paid attention during Spanish class. It would have really paid off here.
 

Interceptor

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What kinds of attractions are in your city?
What are the sights?
Is there a park or oceanside nearby?

-ask her about her life in Peru.
-don't talk too much about school.
-keep 'standard' talk at a bare minimum . focus on building that attractin and sexuality. be playful
-read up on Peru and ask her about certain things that interest you about it.
-do not 'gush" about how "hawt" she is. if she looks nice, then say so. but don't OVER compliment
-stay cool. no over smiling or beaming.
-don't act out of 'fear'. act out of confidence
-make sure you LEAD
-plan the date plan the locations venue change
- do NOT get too 'happy' or 'excited" that she's giving you attention. Don't be a validation or approval seeker
 
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Interceptor said:
What kinds of attractions are in your city?
What are the sights?
Is there a park or oceanside nearby?

-ask her about her life in Peru.
-don't talk too much about school.
-keep 'standard' talk at a bare minimum . focus on building that attractin and sexuality. be playful
-read up on Peru and ask her about certain things that interest you about it.
-do not 'gush" about how "hawt" she is. if she looks nice, then say so. but don't OVER compliment
-stay cool. no over smiling or beaming.
-don't act out of 'fear'. act out of confidence
-make sure you LEAD
-plan the date plan the locations venue change
- do NOT get too 'happy' or 'excited" that she's giving you attention. Don't be a validation or approval seeker
Thanks, that's some great advice I appreciate it.


LJC said:
She's scamming you.
No.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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My Name is Nobody said:
What did I do? I know I seem excited but I don't think she knows that.
Past history says that won't necessarily be the case for long unless you change your mindset.
 
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Francisco d'Anconia said:
Past history says that won't necessarily be the case for long unless you change your mindset.

Gotcha. I see what you are saying. I am excited because my old AFC self would have scared her off by now but I have played it pretty cool so far. Just gotta keep telling myself "I AM A PIMP".
 
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miba said:
You're not a pimp, she's scamming you.
She wants to meet for coffee. What is she going to do spike it with rohypnol and steal my empty wallet?

If it's a scam she is in for a rude awakening.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Update

We had a couple text exchanges today and I called her to set up a date for Friday.

She said she "doesn't know" if she can go because she is going out to "see her friend" and she will "tell me tomorrow".

Not what I was hoping for but not too bad. Considering I had no new prospects a few days ago and with a few clicks of my mouse and some emails got a fine latina at least considering meeting up with me.

We'll see what happens over the weekend. Ofcourse I won't be contacting her any time soon. Let's see if she keeps her word and "lets me know"... hopefully "letting me know" doesn't mean never hearing from her again.
 

Luveno

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I have a lot of experience with online dating.

If she were truly interested in actually meeting you, she would have suggested you arrange another time besides Friday.

In this case, she's just stringing you along without outright saying she does not want to meet you.

I'd give up on this one.
 

iqqi

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This chick doesn't have high IL. She keeps giving herself outs, in case you turn out to be the AFC she fears you might be. DON'T be the AFC.
 
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iqqi said:
This chick doesn't have high IL. She keeps giving herself outs, in case you turn out to be the AFC she fears you might be. DON'T be the AFC.
Sup Iqqi

The only surefire way to NOT be the AFC is to not contact her again for at least a week and that's my plan. Unless I hear from her of course.

I don't see how a woman could have HIGH IL from just meeting online a few days ago off a free dating site, and not even face to face yet.

You know how many weirdos are on those things?
 
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Luveno said:
I have a lot of experience with online dating.

If she were truly interested in actually meeting you, she would have suggested you arrange another time besides Friday.

In this case, she's just stringing you along without outright saying she does not want to meet you.

I'd give up on this one.
I don't know about giving up but I will definetly stash her number away for a rainy day that is about 2 weeks away.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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