met a HB then had unexpected action date with her

[drift king]

met this HB off facebook for 1st time even though i got her number like 8-9 months ago. she had a go at me for giving her grief for cancelling on me twice last time so this time round i didn't want to go down that territory.

anyway we were suppose to meet up yesterday but she cancelled so i called her and rearranged for today.. which she agreed but i knew she'd prob flake again.. so i call her an hour and half before we were suppose to meet and she forgot.. but said to meet in an hour for quick coffee.. not best terms but since i never met her i had no choice really.

we met up but went somewhere else from where we were suppose to go.. she ordered food i ordered just a drink.. we had a bit of a chit chat didn't seem like it was going the way i wanted it to.. then she started talking about sex and tantra etc.. i thought it be too soon to talk about that stuff participating with her until the 2nd date so i mentioned i was into that too.

anyway she was suppose to meet a gf to play tennis after seeing me but her gf cancelled so she was disappointed.. i play tennis myself and had my racket in my car so i suggested we go play instead and to be impulsive.. she was all for it at first then u could see she was hesistant plus she had a hangover but she was already dressed up to play..

the the bill came and she already pulled out money before i had a chance to offer to pay.. and cos she's russian they always expect men to pay no matter what so i was pleasantly surprised that she put money down.. but i was wondering whether or not she was testing me to see whether i'd say no and pay instead as she's accustomed to..

i had this thought in my head so i mentioned it to her afterwards that i would have paid as it's customary in her culture (usually they think very lowly of a guy if he does not pay for her)

when we walked to my car to go to the courts she said she was thinking of not playing and i made the mistake of trying to convince her to play.. (i actually wanted to play myself) so it seemed like i was begging.

we went to the courts and there were all these unexpected costs i.e. i didn't know we had to pay and when she mentioned it i was alarmed.. and she said to me 'so u dont want to play now cos u have to pay?' i was trynig to tell her that wasn't the issue it was that i would have gone to the cash machine to get more money but it just may have come across i was cheap. (esp after the whole paying for earlier sorta thing)

anyway tennis was great we both had so much fun and you could see she was excited.. im such an AFC i had numerous occasions to kino her more heavily than i had been doing but i didn't apart from touching the small of her back.. i could easily have grabbed her butt as we were leaving the courts or pinch her slightly..

could this have put me in LJBF territory if you don't kino heavily enough?

anyway i took her home and she said we should do this again soon as we were walking away from the courts but then i felt as i was like suddenly just her tennis partner.. i can see how action dates are really good now but how could i have up the ante?

maybe i have a tendency to go into LJBF mode cos i'm nervous and at the end when we went to kiss goodbye i was wary that i was sweaty.. i kept going on and on about something about i need to book her in advance cos she's so busy and she should let me know when she's free and i'll let her know when i am..

all i know is she had good fun.. and hopefully associates that with me.. but i really should have kino'd her more when we were leaving like grabbing her butt something which establishes my intentions rather than just talking about it or telling her she looks sexy in her tennis outfit.

how could i have improved my date today?

 

[daygameguy]

you already know the answer i suppose. you better escalate and get blown out than not escalate at all.

 

[drift king]

Well the problem is she suggested meeting up again to play tennis.. but this seems more a jesture of 'cool i have someone to play tennis with..' so automatically LJBF's me in her mind.. i'm going to suggest a different activity next time.

but i was wondering what i could do to improve on what i did?

i was feeling a little low on confidence cos i had a really bad date a few days before and it was difficult removing that experience completely from my mind, plus also i hadn't any other options set up for this week yet.

 

[drift king]

also what's the best way to deal with the issue of height if the girl you're seeing is taller than you?

when she's bare foot it's fine but in heels the height difference can be a bit much.. how do you or what do you need to say to make it seem it's no big deal as it's usually a thought that runs through her mind?

 

[drift king]

i hear what you're saying but in the midst of having fun with her i completely removed myself from date mode with her and ljbf'd myself like when there was an opportunity to touch her and she asked me to touch her arms to show me her tennis arms i just touched her in a friendly sort of way.. :-s

i was all sweaty and didn't feel great and cos i lost track while having fun with her i kept doing afc stuff. when i dropped her off i was really nervous and she could hear it in my voice when i tried to arrange another meeting this week.. is all that irrelevant as long as she focuses on the fun we had that day?#

she's one of these girls who's a pain in the ass to date cos she can't make plans or stick to them.. constant flaker.. she told me this from the start and she even forgot we were meeting when we did..

if i call her at end of this week to make plans she'll just give me a time and be all for it.. but then cancel last minute cos she's so flakey. i can't deal with a girl like that unless i have the failsafe lines to respond to her BS.. last time i questioned her about not being able to make plans she told me off that her friends give her enough sh1t about it so she doesn't need to hear it from someone she'd never met before.

go figure.

 

[drift king]

ok i met her on sunday and now it's friday so i tried calling her, she didn't pick up.

normally this doesn't mean squat but i've noticed from her with my interactions that she doesn't save numbers or won't save numbers of people.. last weekend when she forgot we were meeting she'd answer the phone straight away or phone me straight back.. (that was cos she hadn't saved my number yet so thought it might be a business client)

when i called on sunday for our meet up she clearly had forgotten but i assume now she has saved my number cos she hasn't called me back straight away like she normally does..

i was really nervous when i dropped her off and prolonged the uncomfortableness trying to arrange the next meet up saying i'd call etc etc.. i told her to let me know when she was free since she was so busy and i'd let her know if i could make it.. it wasn't a good look.

despite everything action date having fun.. im still in the same position now where u think everything went ok but just disappointed again, i'll call her in a couple days if she not got back to me if not then i guess i'll leave a voicemail and next her?

 

[drift king]

ok she called me back... and surprise surprise she didn't save my number so was confused who it was at 1st.. took about 20 secs for her to ask who it was then the whole.. 'so u didn't save my number then?' i tried to turn it into a joke that we could just keep having this same funny convo of not knowing who it is everytime but she didn't see the funny side..

she then proceeds to tell me shes out eating at the moment so can't talk.. then i'm like 'ok i only need a couple mins to plan our next outing' i base it that i'm busy next 2 days but mon or tues is doable.. she tells me mon isn't but tues maybe.. (i dont like how she never gives me a definite answer and constantly is flaking.. even 8-9 months ago when we were suppose to meet up.. it's not just me she does this to.. even her friends give her sh1t about it)

you'd think if she was into me she'd be more forthcoming but wanted to end the convo so i said i'd call later.. she prob won't pick up knowing her now she's saved the number..

if i press her for a time she won't give me one so am i better writing everything i plan to say out in text? so at least it's more concrete.. she may not reply so i guess having her on the phone is better.

i need to structure my conversations better.. i feel like each time i'm making arrangements i'm being supplicated.