"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Met a girl, she's cool, BUT

T

thursday

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Unusual problem. I've known this girl for a while now, she lives a few streets away from me, her brother is an old classmate of mine. I used to see her around sometimes, she's even on my facebook, but we never really talked properly until a few weeks ago. On that occasion her and I got on well, laughed, and connected. The problem is, I'm unlikely to see her again for a long time, if ever. Yes, she lives nearby, but we're extremely unlikely to be bump into eachother like that again, and her Brother and I aren't classmates anymore. We just don't run in the same circles.

But here's the thing, I'm not interested in her romantically; I actually would just like to be her friend. You think i'm crazy? Well I'm already dating a few girls and frankly i'm not attracted to this one, she just seems really cool and honest (rare for a girl). Basically I think she'd make a good friend. But how to make it happen? Send her a message on Facebook? If so, what would I say? It would seem very odd and out of the blue since I never really spoke to her before, and I don't want to give her the wrong idea.

How do you become friends with someone who has been an acquaintance for a long time, especially someone of the opposite sex? And what approach could I take in a facebook message?

(Please, no replies saying "why do you want to be friends with a girl?" Females are people too.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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R

runner83

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thursday said:
(Please, no replies saying "why do you want to be friends with a girl?" Females are people too.
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Seeing as that's out of the question, if you were taking to her a few weeks ago, why not just send her a message on facebook.

What have you got to lose?
 
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thursday

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I plan to send her a message on Facebook.

I'm just seeking advice on the kind of thing to say that won't give off the vibe of someone who is romantically interested. Something not out of place. Remember, besides that one occassion, we've never properly talked before - we just saw each other around. Contacting her now would scream of "he wants to fvck me!", when actually, I DON'T! :crackup:
 
J

Joser590

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In reality, you have nothing to worry about because you aren't trying to get in her panties, just hang out her. If you guys connected like you said you guys did, than she should be thrilled to hear from you. It might sound crazy, but chicks love having guys as friends; we tend to make better friends because we have less drama and do not stab each other in the back.

If it helps, I always refer to my female friends as "dude" or even "bro" or "ese" (I'm Hispanic). Maybe you can start your facebook message with "What's up dude" so your correspondance seems less threatening. Just tell her it was cool catching up and that she seemed cool and that you would like to get her contact info. Trust me, she will not think it's weird and should pick up the friendship vibe.
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

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sodbuster

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I'm Calling BS on this "friendship"! When I meet a cool GUY that I enjoy hanging around, I don't ask advice from a forum on how to meet him-so he doesn't think its sexual. IF I see him again,cool,if not,thats OK too. Treat her the same way you would a guy.
 
I

Iceberg

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sodbuster said:
I'm Calling BS on this "friendship"! When I meet a cool GUY that I enjoy hanging around, I don't ask advice from a forum on how to meet him-so he doesn't think its sexual. IF I see him again,cool,if not,thats OK too. Treat her the same way you would a guy.
Click to expand...

Haha. Exactly.

If there's a cool dude at work, and I want to chill with him, I don't need to come on this site to ask the guy to grab a beer after work.
 
T

thursday

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Ok, you got me. The reason i'm over thinking this is cause her Brother used to be a decent friend of mine. We're still mates, just not as close. Basically I want to avoid having him think that i'm hitting on his little sister, especially when i'm not.

I get what several of you are saying about meeting a cool guy and wanting to hang out, but the problem here is, there's no precedent or context for messaging her and saying "hey, how are you doing, want to hang out?".
 
I

Iceberg

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thursday said:
Ok, you got me. The reason i'm over thinking this is cause her Brother used to be a decent friend of mine. We're still mates, just not as close. Basically I want to avoid having him think that i'm hitting on his little sister, especially when i'm not.

I get what several of you are saying about meeting a cool guy and wanting to hang out, but the problem here is, there's no precedent or context for messaging her and saying "hey, how are you doing, want to hang out?".
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"Hey dude. (Calling her dude will signify your LACK of romantic interest)

It was cool catching up with you the other week. Was thinking about going out with some friends to __X__Bar. You should tag along. __X__ Bar has a great happy hour."

If you're too young to drink, replace bar with bowling. Or whatever people too when they're not old enough to drink. I dont know.
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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