Messin with throwback HB is messin with me

[xHiGHPoTeniaL]

Not really sure where to start/how much history to give, but basically theres a very bad(as in good) chick I've known for awhile who recently moved back home. We've always kept in touch thru txts here and there and i can honestly say its been her intiating them most all the time.

In the last 2-3 weeks sinve she moved back, we've hung out more often and talked prob more then we ever have. Although its been just wkend chilling(works/lives in city during week) I hate to admit we havent ****ed again yet.. I could have the first night we chilled but she was wasted i wasnt, and I thought for sure we'd just get down the next night. Most times so far it was like bad circumstances such as one night it was like 3am after this good ass concert we went to, all over each other, she had to be up at 5 and plus i have no crib to go back to all smooth-like, cant take her to parents house no way. last friday, we hav a goood ass time out get all hot n heavy but after i just kinda get in the car and took her home.

Now I will have to say that in a way I'm just using this chick for practice and cuz of the fact I havent been doin my thing at all lately wit ladies like I used to.. plus she also has way too many red flag issues like having cheated with me on 2 of her different boyfriends. But she is fun and interesting, and the sex we had is some of the best(which i'm in need of lol).

I just wanna know some tips for how to deal with her becuz i have met many like her and I have trouble with them(or i guess any of the really above avg attractive women). She likes to shyt test and says things dumb shyt like "o theres this hot guy at work" the only thing i kno to say is something along the lines of 'talk to u g/f about that shyt', or 'borrrring' but i hafta say it does mess with me on the inside.

I mean right now I think I have a lot of inner game **** goin on as far as being broke, bad job, and living at home again, that im lettin really hurt my game.. but I'm still a dude with needs! lol

I last wrote her a txt(last night) that was a question(more of a joke about her work) she didnt respond to, so now what just don't hit her up anymore? (which i dont rly care, she wont be bak around till thurs anyway) but at sum point should i just call as if nothin happened then get the hell out of there if theres disinterest?
sry this post got really long and i still left alot of shyt out lol.

 

[xHiGHPoTeniaL]

Ok so i defintely went on a bit of a ramble in the above post. But if any of the more experienced DJ's can help me out I'd really appreciate it. She actually txted me last night after work but I just went to sleep without writing back.

I've been reading a lot of articles on here that have helped alittle, I'm just wondering how to continue on with a chick like this. SHes hot so i guess therefore she'll always put up alot of **** tests? i feel like i always hafta been on my top game around her which can be kinda stressful. I also noticed that i'm at my best usually when i just enjoy bein around her and dont take it too serious. im just not how i should even go out keeping in touch, like do I initiate txts to keep me on her mind during the week or just only call/text when i'm trying to hang out and let her text me? this part has me very confused cuz i think i give the power away sometimes when talkin thru text.

I also wonder if some of the dumb shyt she says such as mentioning other guys is just to get a reaction out of me or something else?
Some advice PLEASE gentleman!

 

[Kailex]

Okay, wow, you have a LOT of stuff going on with this girl... I had to read this like three times and I'm still a little bit in the dark about this.

First off, how long have you known this girl?

Second... she's cheated with you on 2 different guys that were her boyfriend at the time?
It sounds more and more like you are "booty call" guy and not "LTR" guy.

I'd be really careful with this one. Maybe ONE guy and you'd be like, okay, it's because I'm THAT much better... but TWO guys and you begin to see a pattern with this girl. You could very well be guy #3.

Let me guess, when she cheated on them with you, you were this cool guy who didn't care whether you got with her or not?

But now, you're all into her.
Is she single now? Is that what it is?

She might be fun and interesting but so are millions of other women... and of course the sex was good... she was doing all the freaky stuff with you while she was just hovering in missionary with her real boyfriends.

I think the first thing you need to do is pick up more plates to spin. This is borderline oneitis. I have this sick feeling that she's turned you into a guy to hangout with versus the guy she used to fvck. Hence... why you two have been doing activities but not having sex at all.

And yes, she's constantly going to sh!t test you.
You need to go back to being that suave guy she used to cheat on other people with and not this new guy that'll probably end up scaring her away.

Having said that... this dangerous grounds for a devastating LTR if you even get to that. I'd just keep her as a FB and nothing more and avoid having feelings for her.

You need more women in your life.

 

[xHiGHPoTeniaL]

Very wise words kailex, i'm pretty sure she can smell my desperation from a mile away. I just didnt wanna **** up bein this chicks booty call/whatever lol. But you are dead on, think I may have let myself get a little too attached.

I have known her for about 5 years now. For about 2 of them she was living here at home. In that time away we've had sex only a handful of times. But now she is back, and single this time too.

I can sorta feel myself caring way too much and other than the fact I most def. need more plates(another great point and so true), should I continue even talkin to this chick or just shut it down completely?
A big question i've always had is how do u maintain a relationship with a female that you dont want a relationship with(w/o getting all g/f b/f like), just fun and sex? I dont have much experience with that besides ONS's and 2 LTR's (i'm 26). or girls that were just in love with me i guess and made it easy.

 

[Kailex]

Just keep doing what you were doing in the first place.
And if it helps to imagine her having a boyfriend, do so.

But the first thing you need to do is present yourself with more options. As soon as she sees that you are getting attached to her, one of two things is most likely to happen:

#1 Game Over
#2 She'll get with you in an "LTR" and soon enough, cheat on you too.

Be careful with this one and enjoy her with absolutely no expectations. But from what I've read, she's not g/f material.

 

[xHiGHPoTeniaL]

Yea i hafta get back to my playa roots lol. na its just my life situation has me a lil down and shyt but I think I realized a long time ago she wasn't g/f material. Just that lately gettin no play and chillin with this hotty, i think i let it show a bit too much.

I think now i'm just gunna sit back n chill a bit, act busy. havent talked to her since tuesday and shes back home since last night but goes back sunday morning.. was thinkn of callin her saturday to chill, if i get any flakiness just deadin it.

 

[xHiGHPoTeniaL]

Hey so didnt make any contact, but she texted me last night i wrote back something c/f and left it at that. She said she'll 'be around' today so i was thinkin of takin her to this cinco de mayo festival today but she goes back to the city at sum point tonight and I need to figure how i'm gunna smoothly attempt an f-close for late afternoon... any help would be appreciated.

I was thinkin of goin to this festival, and telling her to drive to my house so her car is here and then when we leave the festival, we hafta come back to my crib. But now i just hafta think of something to get her inside, (a bottle of jack? lol) suggestions?

 

[Kailex]

Did it used to be this hard for you before?

I just don't see how you were able to pull this off all the time and now you need help to do something you've done before.

What you stated is already a good idea. Just do that. But stop pressuring yourself into HAVING to do something. Just play it natural. Just channel the inner playa that was f-closing her in the past.

Her saying that she'll be around definitely means that she might want to hook-up. Just play it cool and tell her you are going there and you want her to come with you.

Just be yourself and have fun doing it.