messed up pretty bad, please need help (do not say next please)

[John_Taylor]

Hi,

I'm no longer even interested in getting laid so please don't say next. A relationship might actually seem kind of cool.

We're both in first year college right now.

Long story short, I always thought this girl might kind of have a thing for me. Whenever we hang out, she never seems to initiate any conversations with me. She's pretty nice so she talks to everyone. She has low self esteem.

The last girl that liked me did the exact same thing.

I'm not too bad looking so.....eh.

However, she has a long distant but fairly abusive boyfriend. They argue almost nightly on the phone.

Even though I thought she was great, I kept my distance because I don't like hitting on taken women.

First Question, what does the below incident likely mean (you guess):

Her roommate just asks whether I have a thing for her and I sort of said no.............her roommate followed up with a "every guy seems to".
La st time the girl who had a crush on me asked the same question (i did not like THAT girl).

I think she just needs a bf all the time because of self esteem. I just did not even consider her before, but now her roommate blatantly asks.

My thing would be to basically in a subtle way say "you have better options than your current bf" (well, hate to sound arrogant but in side to side comparison there isn't one thing he is superior to me in).

Any solutions?

Thanks

 

[Macgyver]

Since you want to be Captain Save a Ho instead of listening to us saying Next on this broad then the only advice I will give you is to consider cutting off your penis.

 

[penkitten]

the room mate did not say she was or wasnt interested.
she asked you if you had a thing for her.
basically it means that between the two of them, one of them can tell you have a thing for her.

who knows what kind of agenda is behind the question, however it isnt a big deal. you didnt mess anything up at all.

whos to say the room mate didnt ask you to feel you out because she has a thing for you and usually doesnt get the guys she wants because they all like her room mate (which is the chick you like)?

 

[John_Taylor]

well penkitten, I did usually keep my distance (never blatantly hit on her) because she has a bf. Although apparently they get along very poorly I found out.

 

[librito]

oneities STRIKES again, NEXT.

 

[Gina8147]

Take this from a married person's point of view!

1. As long as a boy/girl is not married, they are open territory!
2. If you are interested in a girl and she has a boy friend, tell her specifically, "Let me know when you would like to go out! I am interested in getting to know you better!"
3. Don't let your feelings get in the way with what other people will say about you. Be bold and aggressive enough to go out and get what you want out of life. Life is too short to constantly wonder "what if".
4. Trust me, ten years from now, you will have your "to do" list that must be accomplished or you are not going to make it another minute without finding out!

TO ALL OF YOU SINGLE PEOPLE OUT THERE, don't let life just pass you by. Live life it to the fullest, without guilt, because you only get one time around.

GO FOR IT!

Gina

 

[VegasGuy56]

Next

 

[Magnatolia]

Make your intentions/interest obvious - leave it up to her whether she wants you or not. But don't get hung up if she's not interested.

You haven't mentioned if you're 'obsessed' with her which is my definition of oneitis. To me oneitis isn't necessarily that you think she's the greatest girl on the planet or that she's the only girl who gets you. It's more about comfort - most of the time the girl is a friend and so the guy feels safe and 'thinks' she's the only girl who understands him.

Just make a move, get the ball rolling and see where it leads you, but don't cling, and if she's not interested, then move on.

 

[Jariel]

Make your intentions/interest obvious - leave it up to her whether she wants you or not. But don't get hung up if she's not interested.

Great advice, which applies to everyone. Ask her out, or at least flirting with her would be a good start.

Too much thinking and no action will get you nowhere.

I remember wondering the same thing about various women in the past and would sit at home thinking about all the signs, analysing things they'd said etc. Months/years later I found out they really did like me afterall, but what good did that do me? I never made a move, I left it too late and I lost out! That's worse than rejection in my opinion!