mentioning other guys

[(JJ)]

Hey folks,

I haven't been here since the summer before I started college (2009-I'm getting old). The reason for this this is that, quite simply, I haven't felt a need. I do well with girls, get laid often, and feel like I have my head on straight.


Having said that, there's a girl I'm dealing with right now who presents a fairly simple problem. She is a girl "friend" who I've always played cool with that I was unable to bang early on due to a student organization that we were in together. Since the end of the organization involvement, we've banged... and that's an understatement. She cooks me meals and is usually pretty nice to me, but we have a nice little back and forth that's not TOO nice, just to keep our argumentative personalities appeased .

That should be enough background info for you guys to offer a bit of inight. Anyway, she's got this glaring problem of CONSTANTLY mentioning her celebrity crush. Now, I know that the alpha way to handle it is to say you don't care, and ignore entirely... but it sure is annoying. I make it a point, just out of consideration and respect for my girls to not go off on detailed descriptions of what I want Keeley Hazell to do to me on any given night. But for some reason, girls don't seem to afford guys the same consideration. I have some idea what I'm probably gonna do, but I wanna hear what you guys say first.

Cheers guys!


Cliffs: girl I've known for about a year
Am good friends with her, plus started banging a few months ago
Has a bad habit of talking about ryan gosling
Is annoying.

 

[oneboy21]

She is not your gf mate! You cannot keep any restrictions on her.
Whats wrong with it when she mentions a celebrity name.

 

[(JJ)]

She is not your gf mate! You cannot keep any restrictions on her.
Whats wrong with it when she mentions a celebrity name.

Gah, I know. FWIW, she COULD be my gf. She's TRIED to be my gf. And I'm the one who's kept it casual. But yea. Even if she were my gf, I don't like restrictions.

And in itself? I have very little problem with a girl saying so and so is hot. Once. Twice. But... over and over and over.... and over... it REALLY annoys me.

 

[the third eye]

Gah, I know. FWIW, she COULD be my gf. She's TRIED to be my gf. And I'm the one who's kept it casual. But yea. Even if she were my gf, I don't like restrictions.

And in itself? I have very little problem with a girl saying so and so is hot. Once. Twice. But... over and over and over.... and over... it REALLY annoys me.

do the same thing back to her. irony

 

[Young Stallion]

JJ...No you shouldnt care...Grow Up.

Girls shall always have celebrity crushes...it is the way of the world.

I always tease my lady and tell her that she was probably out with Chris Hemsworth (Her Celebrity Crush) when she has been out and about.

 

[Aaron B]

use it to break her balls

 

[(JJ)]

i guess in order for me to adequately explain to you guys im gonna have to give you the exact conversation that set me off yesterday. here goes



i frequent bodybuilding forums nowadays, and there was a thread involving a discussion about which celebrity would get the most vag at a sorority house: ryan gosling, cristiano ronaldo, or shemar moore.

i, trying to be a good natured sport, sent the thread to her on fb, telling her she'd love to get involved.


she told me that her crush, gosling, would win easily, and i sent her this picture that someone on bb.com had posted.

here's that whole part of the convo:

after my response, i got off of fb chat. thoughts?

 

[(JJ)]

do the same thing back to her. irony

i would, but i've always enjoyed being the sort of.. "refined" guy in that way. yea, obviously i have my celeb girls that i'd give both nuts for, but no REAL girl in my life is EVER gonna know their names. guess that comes from me being super sensitive when it comes back my way, and doing to others what you'd like them to do to you, and all that. hah.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Punish her with your actions bro.

Be less available to her, start hanging out with others girls and make her wonder why your not around as much and her panic side will kick in.

Even though she's completely into you, I agree with you; this would get annoying as hell if she mentions it almost every time you two hangout.

Whatever you do, don't verbalize that it bugs you, let your actions do the talking; that's how girls communicate and she will get the message real fast.




PIMP

 

[Young Stallion]

The overaction in this thread is astounding.

No one needs to be punished, no one needs to dump anyone, no one needs to be insecure, no one needs to be jealouse.

JJ just needs to not care that his girl has a celebrity crush. This thread wreaks of AFC and Beta-ism from alot of people.

 

[Chamber36]

Yeah, I would just step on the same page as she's on.

I woulda been like: "Yeah, Ryan Gosling sure has his **** in order. Can't hate on him for that. Props to him."

Then just mention a damn movie he was in and change the subject.

You can't be phased by things like that. Ryan Gosling is a guy like no other, he just happens to have his sh!t in order, whether he was born into it or worked hard. You got your path to follow. No need hating on another guy.

 

[(JJ)]

Punish her with your actions bro.

Be less available to her, start hanging out with others girls and make her wonder why your not around as much and her panic side will kick in.

Even though she's completely into you, I agree with you; this would get annoying as hell if she mentions it almost every time you two hangout.

Whatever you do, don't verbalize that it bugs you, let your actions do the talking; that's how girls communicate and she will get the message real fast.


PIMP

my traditional response... ie, my "meh. 3/10 asskissing recovery effort." that i sent back to her on fb that i screenshotted in my previous post.

i plan on continuing on that vein, being less available, etc. never hurts to have more plates spinnin, right? (if that's even the term yall still use around here, ha!)

i HAD been considering getting confrontational and telling her to knock it off. but listening to you guys and thinking about it sure makes it sound phaggy to do that.

Yeah, I would just step on the same page as she's on.

I woulda been like: "Yeah, Ryan Gosling sure has his **** in order. Can't hate on him for that. Props to him."

Then just mention a damn movie he was in and change the subject.

You can't be phased by things like that. Ryan Gosling is a guy like no other, he just happens to have his sh!t in order, whether he was born into it or worked hard. You got your path to follow. No need hating on another guy.

meh, im not really phased by the minor occurrence here and there, it's just the incessant restatement and then, like in the screenshot i posted, the "he's still better looking than you ."

even if she's kidding, it's annoying me. like i said, it's the first time i've been here in years bc it's the first thing that's BOTHERED me in years! it's been nice! but we all fall off sometimes, right? hah

The overaction in this thread is astounding.

No one needs to be punished, no one needs to dump anyone, no one needs to be insecure, no one needs to be jealouse.

JJ just needs to not care that his girl has a celebrity crush. This thread wreaks of AFC and Beta-ism from alot of people.

like i said, i dont really CARE per se; it's more just the constant ATTEMPTED flaunting in my face that i have a distaste for.

not jealousy, not overreaction, and i have plenty of other options lined up.

as i said, last night, i blew off our conversation, namely because of another girl offering to come over and give me a massage

 

[Young Stallion]

No worries JJ. Its not just you, but alot of people in this thread were giving you incorrect advice.

 

[Love's Orphan]

Just tell her that betty white is your celebrity crush.

 

[Johnnyventana]

I think it is clear, even by responding with that link like you did, you were buying into her frame. She knows she is getting to you. And she loves it! It makes her feel good!

Now, it is a celebrity that she'll never meet, ever. So I think you need to get over it.

That said, start going along with her. Encourage her with this celebrity. Let her see that it doesn't bother you in the least. And seriously, why would it? Again, she'll never meet him! Ask her if she whacks it to him. Have play sex with her, you be him, she need's to be your "dream" girl. Make her wear a different color wig. Make your dream girl the opposite of this chick. It will freak her out.

And every time, be more interested in him than her. She'll soon bore of it.

Seen it. Done it.

 

[vatoloco]

A woman mentioning other men could mean many different things, depending on context. However, this particular tidbit caught my eye:

She's TRIED to be my gf...

My usual Rx for bad behavior from women is behavioral mirroring, withdrawal of attention/affection.

HOWEVER...

It seems to me like this girl just wants to generate a little [playful] competition anxiety in you... to perhaps get you to look at her in another [more exclusive] light...

Perhaps a little Amused Mastery and/or Agree & Amplify is in order...

Let me ask you JJ, what is it that you want out of this girl?