"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Mental tricks to avoid outcome dependency?

C

Checkmate12

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Alright so there's undoubtedly an awkward stage in the beginning of most new relationships. It's when both parties have sort of agreed upon exclusivity, but you are not yet bf/gf. You can no longer spin plates because you have agreed upon exclusivity, yet the outcome of your current relationship certainly isn't set in stone. There is always the possibility of a flake before a more serious relationship is formed and I think this "limbo state" drives down a mans self-control and challenge and makes him act out of character. At this point in the relationship, just the thought of hearing some dreaded excuse as to why the relationship can't continue to progress is enough to make a man freeze up and act goofy.

This situation takes away our natural defense mechanism of spinning plates, thus leaving us more anxious about the outcome of the relationship we're in as our fallback plans have been taken away. What works for you guys as far as psyching yourself out so as to maintain your indifference towards your lady until youre sure she's yours? How do you gain a hold on a situation such as this?
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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TheGambino

TheGambino

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find something to do, a hobby or go to the gym or whatever, do something that makes u happy, ignore her a bit let it come from her, dont give her all your time and yet again: spin plates, i found out myself, after time she'll wonder whats goin on and come after u again, thats where u want her, make her feel like she has to work for you..
 
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Checkmate12

Don Juan
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TheGambino said:
find something to do, a hobby or go to the gym or whatever, do something that makes u happy, ignore her a bit let it come from her, dont give her all your time and yet again: spin plates, i found out myself, after time she'll wonder whats goin on and come after u again, thats where u want her, make her feel like she has to work for you..
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I agree with the first half of what youre saying, but the whole point is that you both agreed upon becoming exclusive. That means no more spinning plates. You agreed to do one thing and then completely backtracked, and on a very mild scale even betrayed her. Huge red flag when youre working towards a potential ltr.
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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