Mental tricks to avoid outcome dependency?

[Checkmate12]

Alright so there's undoubtedly an awkward stage in the beginning of most new relationships. It's when both parties have sort of agreed upon exclusivity, but you are not yet bf/gf. You can no longer spin plates because you have agreed upon exclusivity, yet the outcome of your current relationship certainly isn't set in stone. There is always the possibility of a flake before a more serious relationship is formed and I think this "limbo state" drives down a mans self-control and challenge and makes him act out of character. At this point in the relationship, just the thought of hearing some dreaded excuse as to why the relationship can't continue to progress is enough to make a man freeze up and act goofy.

This situation takes away our natural defense mechanism of spinning plates, thus leaving us more anxious about the outcome of the relationship we're in as our fallback plans have been taken away. What works for you guys as far as psyching yourself out so as to maintain your indifference towards your lady until youre sure she's yours? How do you gain a hold on a situation such as this?

 

[TheGambino]

find something to do, a hobby or go to the gym or whatever, do something that makes u happy, ignore her a bit let it come from her, dont give her all your time and yet again: spin plates, i found out myself, after time she'll wonder whats goin on and come after u again, thats where u want her, make her feel like she has to work for you..

 

[Checkmate12]

find something to do, a hobby or go to the gym or whatever, do something that makes u happy, ignore her a bit let it come from her, dont give her all your time and yet again: spin plates, i found out myself, after time she'll wonder whats goin on and come after u again, thats where u want her, make her feel like she has to work for you..

I agree with the first half of what youre saying, but the whole point is that you both agreed upon becoming exclusive. That means no more spinning plates. You agreed to do one thing and then completely backtracked, and on a very mild scale even betrayed her. Huge red flag when youre working towards a potential ltr.