"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Mental images to trigger the right mindset

Die Hard

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When you're not in the right mood to approach girls but you do meet a nice girl, you either have to change your attitude fast or let the opportunity pass. You don't have time to warm up by talking to other people first or to joke around and act funny until you loosen up.

What works well for me in order to get that mood quickly, is thinking of a funny movie scene and literally say a quote from that scene to myself (not too loud, otherwise people can hear me haha). This way, I sort of see the scene in my mind and have to laugh about it again. For example, I think of this particular scene: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgBeTu6TZi4&feature=player_embedded and say out loud to myself: "Not half..not some..but all my cash!" It makes me chuckle right away and after that I feel playful and at ease, ready to have fun!

Do you recognize this kind of thing? What kind of tricks do you guys use to trigger the right mindset quickly?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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asid76

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I like this question. Here is what I like to do: be ALWAYS ready to approach, be ALWAYS in the right mindset.

But thats not always possible so here are some of my tricks; things I might do the INSTANT that I see a girl and I know I haven't got much time to work my magic...

-I visualize all the hot girls I've ever been with. This helps alot. For every girl I see I think "have I been with someone hotter?" and often I have.

-I assume the girl will benefit from my presence. I also assume that I'm exactly the kind of man she wants and that she HOPES that I will approach her..

-I never leave the house without looking my best, so I assume that I look great and this is very helpful in feeling and appearing confident.

-I think "he who hesitates, masturbates" and I just go for it.

Another good one, for while talking to a girl, is to think to yourself "I really, reallly, really LOVE this person I'm talking to" - its so lame of a thought that you can't help but grin while thinking it, and voila, before you know it you are smiling while talking to the girl, which makes you look more positive and radiant.

I'll probably think of a ton more ideas later, but for now this is all I have. In all honesty, I am pretty much always ready to approach nowadays and so don't use the mental imagery as much as I used to.

Having a cheatsheet you can sneak away and read a couple things from wouldn't hurt either. I have one and on it are things like "how to start an interesting conversation" and under that I listed some openers, another one on the list is "qualities of an alpha male" with some of the traits listed there in point form, for quick reference. This has really helped.
 

Proselytiser

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It's all right........ if u have a good time!
Forgive me for referencing cosmo. But one time I was shown an in-depth article about how to overcome approach anxiety for women, complete with body language guides. So, armed with this confirmation that approach is harder for women than men, I remember this article and that these girls are just wishing they had the stones to approach ME.
 

Die Hard

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Thanks for your ideas, everyone! It's nice to hear what you guys use.

What works good for me too is imagining I'm in the gym. In my mind there are a lot of positive things directly associated with the gym:

* Being very focused and determined!
* Beating challenges!
* Feeling powerful and masculine!
* Primal instinct taking over!
* No thinking, just acting!

Also, when I'm going for a really heavy weight and know that it's gonna be near impossible to get the amount of reps I have set in my mind, I always say out loud: "No f*cking around!" Having used this same sentence consistently for such a long time, it has become strongly associated with the feeling of being convinced that I'm gonna beat the challenge I've set for myself. So saying this line works very well when I'm a bit shy/insecure with a girl.

Sometimes I even imagine the girl being a barbell (which has the added effect that you'll see her as an object haha).
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Die Hard

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Makes perfect sense...

Saying to yourself: "I want to meet her" will just reinforce your desire to meet her. But that's of no use coz you already had that desire :)!

Saying to yourself: "I'm gonna meet her" or "I am going to approach her" will make you act on your desire! And that is of use, coz you need to go from a state of not acting to acting.

So the second line is crucial but the first one isn't.
 
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