Men's groups, what is your experience?

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

daddymonsterpoodle

Master Don Juan

Nov 17, 2016

I got invited to a men's group. I went for a few sessions. Men, don't do it. It was a bunch of gentle, kind men validating and enabling each other's introspection and ibability to make changes in their lives.
I just wanted to slap them and say, "quit whining and be a man again. If you have been coming here for years and your life is still sh*t then you need an enormous rethink." When I talked about multiple partners and violent sex most of them looked at me like I had just sh*t on their cornflakes.

If anyone has had different experiences feel free to share them.

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.