Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Oh yeah, what woman's hormones wouldn't be whipped into a panty-wetting petulant frenzy for a guy like this?
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
This is how I was raised. If a woman cooks me dinner, yeah, I'll take care of the dishes.Señor Fingers said:
But do you do it to attract for the purpose of attracting women? That's what the article is expounding.Mr.Positive said:
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
OK. I stand corrected. I can now see how, doing dishes could challenge some guys masculinity.Rollo Tomassi said:
Francisco, if woman goes out of her way to cook me dinner, I'm taking care of the dishes...or at the very least help with them. That's the way I was raised.Francisco d'Anconia said:
That's fine, you already have something established be it even just a friendship. The author wrote of it to attract attention to yourself not unlike peacocking, that it should be done to get women to notice you. If it's the end of a party and the women there still haven't noticed you or your value and you need to wash dishes to do that it would be more effective if a guy just washes her car, her clothes, her dog or whatever else that he would have to do in order to show value, even if it is just domestic.Mr.Positive said:
Wasn't the guy in the article doing the dishes by himself?Mr.Positive said:
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
QUESTION.....Señor Fingers said:
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Definition of a "nice guy?"Señor Fingers said:
Rollo Tomassi said:
If you place perception above intent, then you've shot yourself in the foot because what people think of you takes precedence over what you feel like doing naturally. Ironically enough, your concern for reactions affects the very reactions you are getting and the whole thing becomes a tangled catch-22.DavenJuan said:
I know what you mean. Some chicks instantly think you have an agenda, but so what? You should be doing this because it feels good to help others in simple ways, not because you are trying to score brownie points.
Whats that you say? People treating each other with courtesy and respect regardless of gender??LoneSilver said:
This is part of The Matrix - you fell for the trap!! Men don't cook for their wives or do the dishes - except on rare occasions!!Señor Fingers said:
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
