Men, not women, are romantic.

[Jules Verne]

This notion has been thrown around a lot lately.

I understand that STR8UP is a strong proponent of this.

I have been wondering about this for a while. My guess is that a part of being romantic for a guy is a reflection of his character. He is genuinely nice and likes to display his affection. However, that answer, aside from being a bit too optimistic, only provides one explanation to a question that is much more complex.

On this forum, we would then go on to analyze about his biological urge, trace the root of romanticism, examine what causes us to be victims of that propaganda in the first place, and mention how women simply get off on the idea, not the display, of romanticism.

I am thoroughly confused by this because I am getting no definite answer.

Are men more romantic than women? Why? Why not? Why is there a need to be romantic in the first place? If men are indeed more romantic than women, is it a one-way contribution in which men are supposed to be content with giving romantic gestures most of the time? What does it all mean?

I would like a thorough analysis on this subject.

 

[KarmaSutra]

Romance is about giving women possibilities.

The possibility to feel, to breathe, to know they're alive.

It's a way for women to escape their humdrum, bullsh!t lives and feel connected. To extend their emotional umbilical to a man who clearly gives a damn about his own emotional state and who has a very high regard for his own opinion.

Romance + confidence = Stud.

How does one become romantic? The first way is to acknowledge himself and have a space for himself. A space cleansed of all negative energy. A space where he can invite someone into his circle who feels that same cleansing and safety.

Second is to openly accept and appreciate his sexuality and the gift of the act. Once a woman feels that he will not accept anything insufficient or inferior to his own self worth, she'll step hers up in monumental gains in order to feel as emotionally sexually charged as he.

Romance is not flowers and chocolates. It's giving her an emotional high which doesn't end after you've physically run her through the ringer.

 

[slaog]

Nobody is more romantic. Both women and men are human with emotions and it's a matter of bringing these emotions out.


The reason why women might seem less romantic is because most men are AFC's. Women need masculine men to bring out their romantic side. Buying a box of chocolates isn't going to do it. You need to tap into their romantic side and this is done by treating them in a certain way. For example I do it by treating them like little girls.

 

[everywomanshero]

I don't have any definitive answers, but here has what I've noticed in my encounters:

1) Almost all women do enjoy romance, just not the kind of romance where the guy acts a geek. Here's some general romance ideas most women I've met liked for examples: Weekend getaway, hotel room with a great view of the city or a waterfall or what have you, sharing hot chocolate in Quebec City in the mid of winter, hell feeding animals at the zoo works, or just being taken out somewhere... could be anywhere a place to eat, a piano bar, varies with the specific person. The women I've met especially seemed thrilled when several things are combined into one evening... for example a diner cruise around the bay followed by sex infront of a gaint 10th story window overlooking the ocean and yada yada. One time I just grabbed a room downtown with an awesome view, had prearranged some wine, and then took her there and ordered in. I think people just like to do something different sometimes, and how many bfs/husbands never do anything different after they've been with a woman for a while? I've even snagged women this way, literally told them I wanted to do that for them and they said yes cuz they knew his ass would never do it lol

2) Once I started doing those romantic activities something changed. I think it signal that we weren't just hooking up. For people I am just hooking up with I don't like to confuse the situation or make things complicated. I wouldn't do any of those things with a hookup unless I had been seeing them for a long long time or if I knew specifically that's the type of experiene she was looking for and something about her really fancied me. The same women mentioned above have also been with me to swinger clubs, had sex in a nature preserve, etc. People are not so one dimensional that it is either one or the other. Also people are at different places at different points in life, hell even on different days.

 

[Luminescence]

A females role in reproduction is more complex than just having the equipment to bare, nurse and care for children. She has the role of filtering out unwanted physical/psychological traits by her choice of mates. Wouldn't intense romantic feelings for male partners be a deterrent to effectively play this role? In other words ''to be a filter'' you have to be pragmatic; which isn't romantic at all.

Any thoughts?

 

[slaog]

A females role in reproduction is more complex than just having the equipment to bare, nurse and care for children. She has the role of filtering out unwanted physical/psychological traits by her choice of mates. Wouldn't intense romantic feelings for male partners be a deterrent to effectively play this role? In other words ''to be a filter'' you have to be pragmatic; which isn't romantic at all.

Any thoughts?

Being romantic is not AFC.


To create romantic feelings you have to be seen as being of high value. As you pass all the sh*t tests etc you are then seen as a high value man to the woman and in a position to create intense romantic feelings.

 

[Arizona iced tea]

the man is the romantic one... the romantic-ness being the actions that woo the ladies into wanting romance with the man, if you get where im going with that lol. but it all really depends on your definition of romantic, and im sure everyones is a little different. as far as girls being romantic, idk... they are definitely "affectionate" which is easily confused with romantic, but it isnt often that you see the ladies swooning the men with their romantic ways (they dont have to work that hard anyway )

 

[slaog]

the man is the romantic one... the romantic-ness being the actions that woo the ladies into wanting romance with the man, if you get where im going with that lol. but it all really depends on your definition of romantic, and im sure everyones is a little different. as far as girls being romantic, idk... they are definitely "affectionate" which is easily confused with romantic, but it isnt often that you see the ladies swooning the men with their romantic ways (they dont have to work that hard anyway )

They are both romantic but the man is the one who brings it out of the woman. Women go see romantic movies alot more then men do.

 

[Arizona iced tea]

They are both romantic but the man is the one who brings it out of the woman. Women go see romantic movies alot more then men do.

because the women are the ones who want the romance. why would a man need to see a romantic movie when he is full of romantic-ness?

 

[bigjohnson]

.... She has the role of filtering out unwanted physical/psychological traits by her choice of mates. ....

Men refusing to nail her or later care for her and her offspring would have a similar filtering effect I guess. Yeah, sorry, not drinking your kool-aid here.

 

[Luminescence]

Being romantic is not AFC.

Was this a reply to the bold? I'm not sure how it was relative.

To create romantic feelings you have to be seen as being of high value. As you pass all the sh*t tests etc you are then seen as a high value man to the woman and in a position to create intense romantic feelings.

I really have no argument with you here. You seem to basically be describing the ''filtering process'' that women have as a way of determining the males ''value'' no?

 

[Luminescence]

Men refusing to nail her

Of course this role is played by everyone at one time or another, but you know women are often far more picky.

or later refusing to care for her and her offspring would have a similar filtering effect I guess.

If you consider the scenario where a man leaves a women with his own offspring as ''filtering out the womens genes'' he would be filtering out his own.....just an interesting note.

Yeah, sorry, not drinking your kool-aid here.

Fair enough....

 

[bigjohnson]

If you consider the scenario where a man leaves a women with his own offspring as ''filtering out the womens genes'' he would be filtering out his own.....just an interesting note.

Some of his own, namely only those he 'polluted' by commingling with hers. He could very well have other offspring he chooses to support instead. Also many of hers may very well not be his.

 

[Luminescence]

Some of his own, namely only those he 'polluted' by commingling with hers. He could very well have other offspring he chooses to support instead. Also many of hers may very well not be his.

Pretty much.

 

[SXS]

Romance is also inspiration for art.
Beethoven was a man, who composed many romantic pieces, yet he got no woman...
Romance is AFC.

Romantic acts will not get you woman.
If a chick who I think is ugly or fat, and I don't wanna be with her, and she starts doing romantic acts like if I was special for her, the only thing it will do is to make me embarassed, since I will not be with them dont matter what. I dont think that with a woman it will be any different...

 

[SXS]

Usually in movies, the great romantic acts are desperate acts to attract attention from someone who doesnt like the guy. Like singing in their window, etc.

Romance is despair.

 

[slaog]

I really have no argument with you here. You seem to basically be describing the ''filtering process'' that women have as a way of determining the males ''value'' no?

A females role in reproduction is more complex than just having the equipment to bare, nurse and care for children. She has the role of filtering out unwanted physical/psychological traits by her choice of mates. Wouldn't intense romantic feelings for male partners be a deterrent to effectively play this role? In other words ''to be a filter'' you have to be pragmatic; which isn't romantic at all.

The filtering process happens throughout I'd imagine.


I think women have instincts and it's natures way to find quality men. Take AFC's and DJ's for example. My argument is that AFC's cannot bring out romantic feeling like DJ's can (I might be wrong but it seems like that to me). Therefore when men create these feelings in a woman there are high quality men.


I don't think being pragmatic is an advantage either. An example would be gold diggers. Women chasing after money would be seen as pragmatic and others might think it's clever but those relationships usually turn out miserable for everybody. On the other hand women more romantic women will end up happier in the long run. It's not always the case but they're just 2 examples.

because the women are the ones who want the romance. why would a man need to see a romantic movie when he is full of romantic-ness?

I didn't say a man need to see romantic movies. I said women like romantic movies alot more then men do.

Romance is also inspiration for art.
Beethoven was a man, who composed many romantic pieces, yet he got no woman...
Romance is AFC.

Romantic acts will not get you woman.
If a chick who I think is ugly or fat, and I don't wanna be with her, and she starts doing romantic acts like if I was special for her, the only thing it will do is to make me embarassed, since I will not be with them dont matter what. I dont think that with a woman it will be any different...

AFC's try to be romantic but usually fail. DJ's bring out womens romantic feelings. So it depends on your inner game.


Agreed that romantic acts alone will not get you a woman.

 

[Darth]

Beethoven was a man, who composed many romantic pieces, yet he got no woman...
Romance is AFC.

Yeah, Beethoven crushed on a lot of women but never got any