Men in relationships that would rather jack off than bang their gf/wife

[Pierce Manhammer]

Why you feel self-pity? You've got a pretty good life going, don't you?

That was years ago when I terminated my marriage, when I still struggled with self confidence.

 

[forcerecon01]

Masterbation is not the answer.

 

[BadBoy89]

Men are not programmed to be in monogamous relationship, to sexually be with and commit to 1 woman forever. It is social construct designed by the powers that be to help society produce and produce and produce. If a man has a family, he is going to go work his ass for them and produce for society.

Yet the male brain craves sexual variety. That's why porn is such a big big thing among men. It's the sexual variety that keep men coming back to it. Suppose there was only 5 porn scenes in the whole of the internet. Eventually men would get bored of it and go find real girls.

Back to the OP, yes men like watching sexy, young, hot girls when they are in a relationship. Men don't really get into a relationship for the sex, a man can get sex anywhere now. Very easy. They mostly get into the relationship for the companionship, for the not being alone, for the being invited out on weekends and do couple things with other couples. Since they don't want to cheat on their gf, and need sexual variety, porn is the quickest and safest and most fun way to get the release.

Now if you go to the marriage aspect of it, back when, all married men had at least one hot sexy mistress under 30 they could smash on the side. Yet the powers that be realized "uh oh, this is not good. This gives men power and takes away women's power, which is not good for us. Lets make having a young mistress the worst, most despicable thing in the world. That way men can stay married and work their ass for society." So then married men go to adult entertainment as well.

Just on a side, when I go to business lunches with older women, the one thing they tell me is their man "can do anything, but can't cheat." That's the only thing the care about, the cheating. Why? Because that's where their leverage is the lowest and the man's leverage is the highest.

 

[YourGreatestFear]

A male's libido is controlled by dopamine, and dopamine requires novelty to be produced in high quantity. The same woman just can't give you the same level of dopamine spikes as multiple women will, which is possible with porn. It doesn't matter how hot the woman is, you'll get tired of her sexually. Though there's of course variance between men, some need a new woman after a couple of weeks, others after a couple of years.

 

[Murk]

Maybe I’m an anomaly. I’m not a pr0n user. Do I once in a blue moon? Sure but not to fap. I will however look at videos of gals I’ve taken while banging them, does that count as pr0n? Still, taking matters into my own hands isn’t a thing. I will look at my folder to remember an encounter.

Maybe it’s because I didn’t grow up with easy access to it? It doesn’t provide me any satisfaction. I’ve only once or twice come across a woman that wants to show me some clip she liked, usually they’re hyper sexual types with issues, as they say.

I was gonna say the same thing, I switched pron for my own vids years ago, I don’t think it’s classed as proN If it’s you, it also surely can’t fvck your brain if it’s you doing the fvcking

 

[needimprovement250]

I’ve heard of this happening too, and yes porn is a major culprit. For several men, it even gets to the point where they become interested in letting their wife/gf have sex with other men while they watch and jack it (cuck or stag-vixen) there’s a definite correlation between the ease of access to porn and the rise in popularity of this kink. Because doing this is pretty much like watching porn live right in front of you and allows you the form of stimulation you’re more used to (jacking it). They even surveyed men years ago and it found that 45% of men would be interested in a relationship where their wife/gf has sex with other men.

 

[BPH]

I have never in my life PREFERRED jacking off over having sex with a real woman.

However...

I have only been in a few relationships, and none of them were for that long.

That said, I am a bit of a manw**** and love variety with my women, which is part of the reason I'm usually single.

 

[forcerecon01]

Not jacking off is the way to go

 

[Millard Fillmore]

I do both - masturbate and bang my girl. The more I do one the more I do the other. I also flirt with other women and am not against a ONS if it's on the DL. There's always massage joints too once in a while.

 

[typical]

Disagree, there's also a psychological aspect in play, this can be not finding her attractive, stress, disgust, her not wanting sex/dead bedrooms. With everything, it's never black and white.

That's still a "you" problem !!!

You've settled for a woman that is below your standards or has lapsed in standards and don't have the courage nor means to cut ties and be single again.

Mental Illness ................ is Nature's way of clearing out the gene pool ............. guess what according to evolution and the natural world your mental problems are just a manefestation of your weak genes ........... Deal with it as best you can.

These issues all stem from the man in the situation unable nor willing to deal with said situation in the most drastic and beneficial ways.

We are not meant to settle down and play house, you chase your dreams and keep setting new ones and nearly all your problems will cease to exist because people will realise they cannot keep up with you and they will dip out. This keeps things easy.

And if being alone is too scary for you then you can always go back to a blue pill lifestyle !!!

 

[CornbreadFed]

Hot Take: Sex is overrated after you figure out how to get it easily.

 

[Divorced w 3]

I think this is an excellent topic. I firmly believe the bedroom is the litmus test to the quality of the relationship.

As someone who has been down this path myself, I can think of a (non exhaustive) quick few reasons this happened:
- Personalities and mutual interests drifted over time / Disingenuous courtship / Ignorance of the truth
- Stressors / self-centered mentality / lack of empathy
- lack of exercise & health
- masturbation

Jordan Peterson is publishing a series called ‘On Marriage’. I may go give it a try

 

[SW15]

Hot Take: Sex is overrated after you figure out how to get it easily.

That is a hot take. I don't think that the majority of men get close to that point in life. A lot of men stay in longer term relationships and get married to ensure continued access to sex.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

I concur.

The reality of most long-term relationships is that we become complacent and comfortable. It is almost inevitable.

Those "trendy-happy" couples you see on Youtube/IG are fake. Very few LTR keep it "fresh", "hot", "exciting", "new", or "all smiles".

The biggest reason is the "new and exciting" factor. And worse if she gains weight and ages.

Lastly, I am one of those believers in evolution and biology. The necessity and desire to spread our "seeds" as much as possible to secure our offspring's (genes) survival is still in our psyche and genetic code. So even if it is a "perfect" relationship, men will always crave that.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Couldn’t one just close his eyes & fantasize while fvcking his wife?

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Couldn’t one just close his eyes & fantasize while fvcking his wife?

Sometimes even with a hot chick I’ve been schtooping for a while sometimes I will briefly think about another gal I’ve been with. It’s not that the sex isn’t good it happens even when it’s outstanding sometimes. No idea why.

 

[Fortune_favors_the_bold]

Couldn’t one just close his eyes & fantasize while fvcking his wife?

That stuff works for women while men are visual and direct.

Women dream about being railed from james bond after drinking champagne, men cant close their eyes and pretend that fat ass is brianna banks.

 

[MatureDJ]

Hot Take: Sex is overrated after you figure out how to get it easily.

I guess I am not overrating it then.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Further elaboration, but I just like the hunt and chase and knowing that I successfully got to see this girl naked or have her finally submit to and worship me. The actual fvcking part, I get tired of within a minute lol.

 

[Fortune_favors_the_bold]

I guess this Banks doesn't have a fat ass, but if someone is not into fat asses, what are they doing wifing up a land whale?

The problem is that there are no such things as "breach of contract" on modern day marriages when it comes on womens weight and ass size.

For example in order for me to make sure my gf (not my wife...just my gf) maintains the size I consider acceptable, I need to make fun of every fat girl we see and how I believe their husbands have full right to cheat endlessly.